float_on_alright | Entries tagged with tv obsession

This was originally a 600 word text I sent to a friend of mine at 2 or 3 am one night because I am an obsessed weirdo. But I want to post it, with addtions and maybe a few edits, because this is where my brain is living right now and I want to be able to look back at my obssesive brain thoughts later.

I'm watching my favorite bits of Lethal Weapon for the 6,302nd time (in all honesty it probably is getting towards the triple digits on some of these parts) and I thought for a moment that the dress Erica is wearing during the food fight at the end of episode 12 was the same thing she was wearing when they had their first almost kiss. She says she just bought the dress she's wearing (in the food fight), and that she bought it "for him." Now, it's filmed and treated like she's probably just saying that so he'll stop spraying her with mustard so I originally didn't take it too seriously. BUT upon further review and consideration, I've changed my mind. I went back so I could check, and the outfit she's wearing at the end of episode 12 is not the same thing she was wearing during the almost kiss at the beginning of episode 11, but the outfits are very, very similar. This is a woman who dresses with style and class at all times, but she does have an eclectic wardrobe. she's featured wearing a number of different styles of shirts, especially. At work, she wears shirts and skirts or shirts and pants. She's seen wearing suit jackets occasionally as well, usually paired with an elegant top and a skirt.

She is in so deep, even though she's saying they aren't serious.

I also wish I got to see the conversation where he tells her more about what happened with his conversation with his daughter. They've clearly had a conversation we don't see because she knows that he took her advice about his daughter and they've made specific plans involving a cookout, the movie "Any which way but loose," as well as chocolate ice cream, beer, and tequila. I wanna know how that played out. Was he saying thank you? Did she give him shit that she was right? Did he make a joke about her being on the same level as a twelve-year-old girl? Did he mention apartment hunting? Did he ask for help with it like his daughter suggested he do? I need answers! I also want to break down why he's really still in the motel, because I think it has a lot to do with him believing that he doesn't deserve nice/good things.

Also, at the end of episode 10 she says she's going to move. Has she done that already? Is there a possibility that they could end up moving into together at the end of the season? It'd really, probably be too soon, but I kind of want it anyway. And I definitely want there to be a conversation that rebuffs the "has an expiration date" comment that I fully believe was said out of self preservation and not put of what is actually wanted. (I'm looking at you, Erica.)

Can I also mention that I'm super glad that all of their on screen overtly romantic and sexual scenes have happened when they're both sober? Yes, they have a moment where she is looking at him like he's breaking her heart when he says he's heartbroken over his ex and he's drunk, but that doesn't count because he isn't in it with her yet. When they share their almost first kiss? Sober. When she gets vulnerable and they have a moment? Both sober. When he makes his confession? Soooooo sober. When they have their actual first kiss? He's maybe had a few sips of a beer, but they're definitely SOBER.

I don't mind the drunk thing all the time, but for their specific situation I think it's really important that all of their BIG moments are them consciously and purposefully choosing each other without questions of "was this just drunken fun?" meddling things.

Current Mood: excited

Fair warning, I use the “f” word a lot in this.

What I need to be doing right now is thinking about what I want to do for my November story that is due in about a week (where THE FUCK did November go??). What am I doing right now? Mostly thinking about John Constantine and Mick Rory and FUCK ME if I’m not currently an emotional wreck about tonight’s episode of Legends of Tomorrow. Good. God. Almighty.

I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone because well that’s not nice. But Good Lord, if there was anything that could get my mind of the 8,039,233,846,208,655 things I have going on at work and in my head right now as well as Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (which you will absolutely understand if you’ve seen it, but I’m not explaining in case you haven’t), it’s this episode of Legends of Tomorrow.

Look, I know these plots are freaking ridiculous, but HONESTLY, this episode. There were so many things going on with it.

In my opinion, most shows struggle with having a cast of major characters as large as what Legends has. NCIS LA does pretty well and there are a few others that can tell that many stories in one show, but in my mind that’s pretty rare. And to have unique, well written characters with depth and growth who can interact with each other in different ways and with nuance, in my opinion, just doesn’t happen very often. For all that I joke about Legends being a garbage show, I really do think they tell some great emotional stories.

This episode tore me up, and we haven’t even gotten to the point where Nate finds out about Charlie/Not-Amaya joining the team. And she has decided to join the team BECAUSE OF MICK. Like. Mick Rory growing. Mick Rory is such a great character. He’s smart in a savvy way, and he actually does often times “get” people. He may not be interested in them, but he does “get” them.

I loved the friendship between him and Amaya, and I loved how it developed and what’s so interesting to me right now is that he’s almost being what Amaya was to him to Charlie—who looks just like Amaya. It’s this wonderful turnaround storytelling wise, in my opinion.

But his BOOK. GUYS, HIS BOOK. That he is this artistic soul deep underneath the “I will light you on fire while I drink my beer” attitude. MY HEART. Guuuuuuyyyssss. The last line of his book! I’m going to cry about that forever. Forever.

And John Constantine.

John Constantine was awake for approximately two minutes of this past episode and he still managed to totally wreck me, deep down into my soul. As if everything else about this episode wasn’t enough. As if him, in mortal peril, after using his own fucking life force at the end of the last episode to save a kid’s life didn’t leave me fucked up enough, he had to go and have these moments with Nora Darhk.

And Nora Darhk. And Ray. And fuck me sideways.

I can’t count all the ways this episode messed with me.

That doesn’t even touch the Nate and his dad (I can’t y’all, I can’t) or Gary and the food girl or Charlie and Sarah, or Zari and Mick or the Hiroshima discussion, or…

I think you get the picture.

I can’t wait to rewatch that episode, I really can’t because there’s a gold mine there and it is—in my opinion—one of the absolute best ones they’ve ever done. They managed to blend sadness, angst, dealing with fear, growth, family drama, humor, grief and tragedy, faith and optimism, issues of identity, questions about good and evil and humanity, deceit and truth with monsters, magic, time travel, and their signature brand of madcap plans and plots. The episode doesn’t make a lot of sense outside of the context of the last season and a half (maybe two) of the show, but good gracious, it’s such a good episode. In some ways I wish people didn’t need the context to watch the episode, but they wouldn’t have been able to create that episode without having the context they do.

GIANT SIGH. It’s easily my favorite show of the moment and it’s contending for my all time faves. I think it might even be currently beating out Wynonna Earp right now, which is saying a lot. I wish more people watched it with me.

Current Mood: nerdy

I was laying in bed last night thinking about Constantine and his feelings about Gary. Also, I think Gary may be demi-sexual. Yes, Gary has been portrayed as a bit of a dufus, but he’s also super cute, super sweet, and, while gullible, he’s not actually an idiot. Not to mention, he’s brave as hell and you can fucking fight me on that. Sure, he’s a bit of a dork. He loves his Dungeons and Dragons enough that he’s a Dungeon Master for his group of friends. But being pantsed by a Speedster or being naive enough to be stolen from by the most thieving group of people on television since the Leverage doesn’t make you an idiot. I’m hoping that Gary will get a little better treatment.

I want to write a story about Gary and JC (yeah, I’m calling him that still because his first name is too generic and his last name is too long and honestly, it makes me giggle) and their moment of “whatever” that Gary asks about when they have the “is he a virgin” discussion because I just feel there is such a goldmine there for both characters. But I also know if I write it now, it’s gonna get Jossed next week.

Granted I could just say “eff it” and just go for it anyway. It’s likely that even if I can sort of make it fit with canon that it’s still gonna get Jossed eventually. I guess there’s just always going to be part of me that wants my stories to at least fit as headcanon.

Speaking of headcanons, I really hope that Helen of Troy is back again this season. I’d really like to see more of her with the Legends. I think she’d be a great person to team up with them now and then. Part of me wants her to show up with a girlfriend from Themyscira, but my headcanon is that she’s an asexual aromantic. I may have written about this previously, but if you’ve watched the episodes she’s in, she portrays zero interest in any of the men coming onto her and no interest in the women besides loving that they are warriors. When she becomes a warrior herself, her admiration shifts some, but it never seems romantic or sexual in nature. I really want them to make that part of her character. And not in a “men have scarred me for life” kind of way, though men certainly have been the cause of a great deal of her suffering. I want part of the reason that she’s suffered so much to have been because she has never and will never return any of the (weird and creepy, tbh) romantic and sexual interest men have shown her over the course of her life.

Helen gets transported to a new millennium and she’s like, “well, at least there isn’t an actual war going on over me.” She’s just so done with everyone and everything. I love her transformation when they’re able to take her somewhere safe for her. Man, I just really love her and want her to be happy and to see her all the time.

Current Mood: amused

I really want to try to be a calm, semi-rational (I don’t get any more rational than semi-rational; that is the best I can do), reasonable human being right now, but I finished the season four premiere of DC’s Legends of Tomorrow tonight and I am just so happy. It was everything that a season premiere of Legends should be in my opinion.

Now listen, I’m not talking about first season Legends. I barely count season one as being part of the same show and if you’ve been watching from the beginning I think you understand why I say that. Season One had its moments and it had Captain Cold, but it really wasn’t what the show was going to become.

Side tangent here: I’ve noticed that my favorite shows and characters are often either redemption arcs OR human dumpster fires with hearts of gold. And honestly, if a character goes from being questionable in the ethics department to being good, but is overall a garbage fire I’m going to want to adopt them. That’s just who I am as a person. Clint Barton as a character from Matt Faction’s series--the Hawkeye/Clint Barton I love best--is a well-intentioned, massively depressed, barely functioning idiot and I cannot abide a word against him.

DC Legends (postseason one) is an entire team of these types of characters pulling in other similar characters lead by one of the most dumpster-fire, heart of gold, looking for redemption badass former assassin women ever. Like, it’s no wonder I love it so much.

During season one, they attempted to make them seem like proper heroes. And yes, they still do incredibly heroic things, but they’re really not heroes. They’re more like teenagers who try to raise money for new gym equipment by washing cars, but somehow do it in such a way that someone’s car gets banged up and the gym floor now has flood damage and they have to spend every Saturday for the rest of the year working to fix the things that went wrong again. Or they used duct tape to hold parts of a TV that got busted together and now the whole screen is a disaster.

It was the second season when it found its groove, in my opinion. This is all my opinion really, but I like to pretend it’s fact so I’m probably going to talk like my opinions on the show are fact.

The Hawk superheroes were too legitimate to work as well-intentioned dumpster fires, but also not weighty enough to work as serious heroes and they were a very central part of season one.

For me, the show was trying to find its own rhythm and tone, but it was still trying to connect with the audiences watching Arrow and The Flash by pulling in the tone from those shows too. I get why. The CW/Greg whatshisface that is the showrunner producer type for all those superhero-type CW shows (for the most part) was having tremendous success (for non-network shows) with Arrow and The Flash. Legends was a direct spin-off of those shows (most especially Arrow, considering the origin of Ray Palmer and Sarah Lance; sure Leo and Mick were from The Flash but story arc wise Ray and Sarah had bigger arcs before and after joining the Legends cast than Mick and Leo did), and Arrow is a fairly “serious” show ‘tone’ wise. It may not be going up for any Emmy’s any time soon, but it isn’t a whimsical show. There was no reason to think that they shouldn’t follow the same pattern with Legends.

I believe in one of the many “behind the scenes” videos I watched, I saw Brandon Routh talk about how they were locked in, from the conception of the show, on how season one was going to play out and how it was going to end. I don’t think there was any detail about why, but I still find it really interesting. I think the show suffered for that staunch adherence. I think once it was able to get out of that plan, it was really able to blossom.

It isn’t Arrow and it isn’t The Flash and it isn’t Supergirl. These shows are well-loved for good reasons, but Legends only really works when it’s being absolutely corkers.

“We screwed things up for the magical” is exactly the kind of opener Legends needs and deserves. I can’t begin to say how much I loved having John Constantine around again. I know I’ve been talking about Constantine for … I don’t know how long it’s been, but I’m suspecting it’s been months. I just can’t help myself. I love that he was telling Sarah to be good to Ava when we last saw him and now he’s like, “Leave her before you both die horrible deaths OR WORSE.” I love that whatever little modicum of peace he’d worked out for himself is gone and I’m dying to see him getting back on the team with the others. I want him to be tortured, of course, but I want him to get help and support from the Legends crew and end up growing and healing a little because of it.

There’s no way he’ll be with the team more than a season if they can’t help him grow.

Shit, I don’t know how they’re going (or even if ‘they’ plan) to keep JC on for more than a season. If they draw out the magical escapees or bring out more demons, they could keep him on, but I don’t know that the writing wouldn’t suffer in other ways. I really want him to stay on, I just don’t know how that would work.

Dammit, I wanted to talk more about how much and why I loved the episode one of season four, but I can’t hold my eyes open.

Current Mood: exhausted

I only need a few hundred words to meet my goal for the much, which is great! I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to make it with all the things that have gone on in September (tons of stuff at work, crazy busy desk times, DragonCon, this trip to England and Ireland, Jay’s visit, etcetera). Granted, I still have to write a few hundred more words so maybe I shouldn’t call it win just yet!

Even if I didn’t make my goal this month though, I’d still say it was worth sacrificing part of my writing goal for this trip. Even though we haven’t done a whole lot so far, seeing one of my aunts and one of my uncles and two of my cousins was amazing. I hadn’t visited here in five years. The last time I was here was for my grandfather’s funeral and the time before that was when my grandmother died. Both of those trips were in 2013 and that was a difficult year. It was a year of major change for me and a lot of the change was for the better, but it was still a really difficult year. To be visiting now, when things are good and I’m in a place where I mostly feel good about my life is such a wonderful feeling.

Either way, not seeing family you like (as well as love) for five years is not my favorite. It’s hard with everyone spread out everywhere. I think about my sister sometimes too. She has been to see Mark’s family and while his is closer, my sister hasn’t seen any of my dad’s family in years, maybe a couple of decades. I’m trying to remember the last time she went and I simply can’t say when that was. I honestly think the last time she went, I was a freshman in high school.

I feel like most of the trips have been just me and dad but there was one trip I didn’t go on that my sister did when I was in the 8th grade and there have been two or three trips my mom came on. I say “most” were just me and dad like there have been a ton of them, but there have been a handful throughout the years. There was one that the whole family did when I was between 6th and 7th grade. There were two where it was me and Chelsea who went with dad, maybe three? It was mom, dad, and myself for one trip and this trip. Then it was just me and dad for the first trip I remember taking in fourth grade, another one that I can’t quite remember when that was, one when I was a sophomore in college, one the first year after I graduated college, and then the two in 2013. That’s if I’m remembering all of them (beyond the ones we took when I was very small).

I’ve gotten to travel a good bit. I am thankful every day for the adventures I’ve gotten to go on because my dad was and still is a traveler.

But tomorrow we’re headed to Ireland which I have never really gotten to tour before. I spent four hours in the Dublin airport on one of the adventures, but that doesn’t count. I didn’t get to see anything other than the airport and what was right outside of the windows. I have never been to an airport with such incredibly friendly staff before though. That airport, by far, had the kindest, most patient airport employees I’ve encountered. Even the security and immigration type folks were amazing. I’m hopeful that the trip I’m about to make will just kind of build on that idea of Ireland for me for the most part (I know there are assholes in any group of people).

On an unrelated note, I’ve been rewatching Legends of Tomorrow. Well, initially watched the final episodes of season one since I skipped them the first go ‘round. The show was just such a struggle for me the first season. But now that I love it as much as I do—and I really do love it—I wanted to check out the stuff I’d missed. I thought I’d just skipped the end of the first season, but I also (apparently) hadn’t seen the first couple of episodes of the second season either. It was only when I started season two thinking I’d do a rewatch of it (and maybe season three as well if I can fit it in) for shits and giggles since I just finished re-watching Constantine that I realized that I’d never seen the first couple of episodes. I didn’t know how Nate joined the team, nor did I know how he got his superpowers. I mean, I’m sure that I saw the “previously on” but knowing me, I didn’t really pay attention and the information didn’t get stored.

Anyway, it was fun to watch those first couple of episodes and watch the team struggle to be a team. They’re so much more solid now. I’m going to miss Amaya and I really wish Kid Flash was going to stay, but I know the actor decided that he had other things he really wanted to pursue and I’m excited to see what he comes out with next.

But we all know it’s John Constantine I’m obsessed with.

I have so many things I need to do. Finish Librarians from like a year ago, catch up on the last five episodes of Wynonna Earp (it’s more like four, but still), the last four or five episodes of Killjoys, and probably a handful of other things too. I’m sure I’ll get there. I love Wynonna Earp and Killjoys. I’m going to be at the house by myself with the dog for four weeks or so which means I’ll have ample time to hog the TV and have on whatever I want. Granted the first two weeks won’t be much as far as doing anything. I’m going straight back to work after the trip and I’m supposed to work 11 days in a row. I have done stuff like this before, but I don’t think I’ve done it when I’m also jet lagged so I’m curious to see how this goes.

Not that I need to be thinking about that right now.

The problem with loving your job is that you end up thinking about it when you’d be ignoring the existence of a job you hate.

But oh, the point I wanted to mention was that after all that time I spent thinking that they were planning on bringing in John Constantine for Legends at the start of season three, I’m wondering if it actually went back further than that. Maybe it wasn’t a fully formed idea yet, but they brought John onto Arrow to put Sarah’s soul back in her body after she was brought back from the Lazareth Pit or whatever it’s called. They could have written that episode any way they wanted to and they could have brought John Constantine on any way they wanted to, but they very specifically wrote the story so that when they brought Sarah back (ostensibly to have her alive and available to do Legends of Tomorrow) it was John Constantine who fixed up her soul. They wrote Constantine into Oliver’s past so that they could call on Constantine rather than just having Constantine come into town chasing down one demon or another.

I don’t know, maybe they just wanted to have Constantine on and that was the plot line that mad the most sense (which I’m guessing is true) and it was just a happy coincidence that he had that tie to Sarah and since it was there, they decided to use it in Legends. But I still think that they’ve been hoping that they could make John Constantine a larger part of the DC universe for years. I’m sure there have been issues with rights and scheduling and such, but I’m thinking that someone worked really hard to make it happen. I know CBS gave/sold Supergirl to CW, but John Constantine was on NBC (granted who owns the rights isn’t always as clear cut as checking with station aired the show—something I find fascinating).

I’m wondering if it was long negotiations for the character not just to be leant to the CW. Plus, what I’ve been reading and seeing is leading me to believe that the writers are picking up a large part of the plot from the John Constantine show and where it left off, which I’m thinking might mean more negotiating than just letting them have the character for a couple of things here and there. I think CBS and the CW have some sort of partnership or are similarly owned or something and it was therefore pretty straightforward to move Supergirl to CW.

I think Midnight Texas is on NBC now and I find it kind of interesting that they renewed that show. I’m glad they did because I really enjoyed it and I’m looking forward to the next season, but it’s a lot like Constantine in a lot of ways (at least to me). Granted, there are more characters who are not morally ambiguous in Midnight Texas than there were in Constantine. But they’ve got queer characters, demons, angels, magic users, vampires, ghosts, and a host of other crazy creatures. As well as humans that are just plain evil. I feel like maybe they tried to do John Constantine too early. I pretty sure it started right around the time that Arrow and The Flash were taking off and I’m thinking they wanted to get in on the action (I suspect that Supergirl was the same kind of endeavor for CBS), but I’m thinking they didn’t quite know what they were doing—at least not yet. They hadn’t quite “gotten” what had pulled people in about those shows.

I don’t know.

I’m rambling when I should be going to bed. Yeah, I need to go to bed.

Current Mood: chipper

I need to do real writing tonight, but I’m not sure what’s going to happen tonight. It’s already after midnight and I’ve only just now managed to tear myself away from the TV. I mean technically speaking, I’m still in front of it and it’s still on, but I’m using it for music at the moment. I got sucked into a rewatch of “Second Chance.” I watched the show when it was on a few years ago, and I really liked it. I felt like it had a decent end, but I can’t remember. I wanted to get a second season, but it didn’t. I’m enjoying the rewatch. I have a lot of complicated stressful emotions about the plot. The main character is a dick, but he goes on this really great emotional, redemption story of love and family. Everyone who knows me knows this is my favorite thing in the fictional (maybe also real life) world with the possible exception of fake relationships.

Another great trope, that I absolutely weak for is the one where a casual stranger, like a waitress or a salesman, thinks your ship is already a couple when they’re not and they’re forced to awkwardly say that they aren’t together even though they both “secretly” want to be a couple. Like, “yaaaassssss” torture me with your inability to tell each other you’re in love. But there’s also the whole, “EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU ALL BELONG TO EACH OTHER, YOU IDIOTS” aspect that I’m also a real sucker for.

Second Chance has a moment of that, but like in an even more awkward way. She over hers Mary say that “Pritchard” should keep the car she’s been lending him because she can’t imagine anyone else driving it. Said real estate agent immediately assumes that they’re getting a divorce and she says something like, “Awww, I’ve never heard two people who are getting divorced be so sweet to each other!” And they’re like, “Uh… Well, see, we’re not getting divorced.” and She’s like, “Oh, I overheard about the car so I thought you were breaking up. I’m so glad you’re not splitting up since you seem to so great together.” And they’re like, “Um, so like, we’re not together.” She starts scrambling, obviously confused, and finally Mary just asks to see the apartment.

I love it. They’re both miserable thinking he’s about to move out, but don’t know how to tell each other.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about Mary’s brother. He’s a dick and sort of cruel and selfish and manipulative. But a lot of it is because he’s been traumatized and he’s a genius that doesn’t understand boundaries at all. He wants it to be him and his sister as a unit forever. They’re twins and he can’t really function without her very well. But when he’s stable, he’s incredible. When she develops a type of cancer that is pretty much always fatal, he finds a way to bring someone back from the dead and adjust them so that he can use their blood to treat her. An incredible mind for all kinds of things. Mostly he’s about patterns and codes. It’s hard to explain, but on screen, he’s definitely a sympathetic character to a point. Further, there is also a villain working behind the scenes to make things worse for Otto for “reasons.”

I don’t want to speak about it too much though, because I still can’t remember how the show ends or how things end up for him. I feel like until I remember that, I can’t make a proper decision about whether or not I like him as a character.

I didn’t mean to get into all of this, but I’ve obviously gotten into my re-watch. I think Constantine is still my alpha-obsession because the show and the character are humming under a lot of my other thoughts and feelings, but Second Chance is holding its own.

Anyway, I’m exhausted. It’s been a wild day. I still haven’t finished my story, but maybe tomorrow once I get some rest.

Night y’all!

Current Mood: exhausted

I was bemoaning to Reb that it’s difficult to find the time and headspace to write the porn story I want to write, which is true. But what’s also true, is that I’ve been alone with time to write for the last two hours and change, and I’ve rewatched episodes of “Second Chance” instead. I put on something I’d seen before thinking that I would write while I watched it, but of course I didn’t and now I’ve forced myself to turn it off and I really needed to head to bed about forty minutes ago. The other part of the problem is that John Constantine is still my Alpha-Obsession for the moment so whenever I go to write, I’m still thinking about him and what this upcoming season is going to be.

I did get enough writing done that I’m not behind on my goal for the month overall but I’m probably going to be a little shy of my stretch goal--which is to be done before I go to England in case I don’t have time/energy to write at all while I’m there. I should probably look into getting some sort of journaling app for while I’m there that I can use to store my day to day rambles until I can get to a wifi spot. Still, I think that’s a tomorrow issue, because like I said, it’s past my bedtime.

Current Mood: bouncy

As I mentioned previously, I think it may have been the plan to have John Constantine join the Legends in the upcoming season (season 4) for all, or at least most, of season three. I’ve been spending far more time on this than any person should, but I’m in it now. I’m very nearly done with my rewatch of Constantine (I may finish it before I finish writing this post, honestly), and I’ve also been through Constantine's appearances in Daddy Darhkest, Necromancing the Stone, and The Good, The Bad, and The Cuddly two or three times now so you know that I’m dedicated to this right now. John Constantine is my current obsession (The Meg is still kicking around in my brain, especially Jaxx and Lori, Avengers is basically always in there somewhere, and there are always things like Wynonna and Shadowhunters kicking around in there, but John Constantine, for the moment has emerged as Alpha Obsession.)

So basically this is about to be me rambling about John Constantine, the Legends, some random demons and what things are making me think Constantine’s joining the Legends for season four was planned from the beginning of season three (assuming they got renewed, of course).

John Constantine comes to the Legends, well to Sarah when he runs into Nora Darhk as a young, possessed girl and is trying to do an exorcism. All the shit with the exorcism goes down--it’s not pretty. The thing is though, Constantine has great chemistry with the group. Their group has always been one of misfits and broken pieces and John Constantine is both of those things.

(Quick side note, nothing is quite working right with JC’s spells when it comes to Mallus/Malice and considering the demon’s name is Malice, but they’re calling him Mallus it makes sense. They just don’t know that’s the issue messing up the spell. I love that they’ve been messing up his name the whole season. It’s like Benjamin Cucumbering his name unintentionally or something.)

They directly set up a few things--in my mind--with the Daddy Darhkest episode:

Obviously, they set up Norah’s background and how she becomes possessed by Malice.
Sarah is going to get taken over by Mallus/Malice again.
JC will be called on to help them again. No way is anyone going to just try to kill Sarah the way JC instructs Ray to do at the end of the episode.
Sarah in the past likely would not have paused before a hook up with someone to say “are we really that damaged?”--she would’ve just hooked up with them. She was sleeping with her sister’s boyfriend pre-Arrow, let’s not forget, and that was BEFORE she went through hell, became an assassin, died, got brought back to life without her soul, experienced her soul being tortured while her body walked around without it, lost her sister, and went through all the things she went through in the first two and a half seasons of Legends of Tomorrow. I love the girl, and I love that I don’t see her being slut-shamed, not really, nor am I slut-shaming now. What I’m pointing out is that she’s changing now that Ava’s in her life. I love that JC says he and Ava have great taste in damaged women when he finds out Sarah has been with Ava. Ava doesn’t like that Sarah had sex with John, but it’s mostly jealousy because it was after she and Sarah met and so close to the two of them starting to see each other seriously. And she doesn’t make it like Sarah is bad for sleeping with someone, only that JC is an arrogant, messy, weird, dumpster fire of a person. God love him. Shit… I digressed again. That is in the next Constantine episode.

So Sarah does get taken back over by Mallus (I know his name is Malice, but they spent so much time calling him Mallus that I can’t stop) and the team can’t bear to kill Sarah, as expected. It’s Ava and Gary (squee precious baby, I love him) who decide to go track down JC.

Here again, JC has amazing chemistry with Ava and Gary. Gary has amazing chemistry with everyone in my opinion, mostly because he’s just such a darling. Ava and JC though are such polar opposites. JC doesn’t have a cell phone, Ava has a device that lets her make doorways into anywhere in time and space. JC is a man of magic and chaos, Ava is a woman of order and technology. If ever two people were oil and water, it’s these two. And they work against each other so beautifully. (I think Ava likes JC just a little bit for kissing Gary because for all the shit she gives Gary, I think he means a lot to her.)

Matt Ryan has been playing JC on and off for four years, he has this character down. I’ll admit that I enjoyed the Keanu Reeves movie and they picked the perfect guy to play Papa Midnight, but when it comes to comic book character JC portrayals, Matt Ryan slays. And he comes on a set and just is unbelievable. It’s like he’s been working with them forever. I love him, I’m so excited that he’s going to be on this upcoming season.

Right. Ah, concentration you are a fickle thing. So, back to my point.

In Necromancing the Stone, JC establishes a history with Beebo, which I mention because Beebo is such a wild concept as a plot point. He says he put a spell on one of the toys to make it talk and it told some crazy stories. We don’t hear the stories, but we know a good bit of what has been going down with Beebo, like one stumbling into Viking history. This would suggest that JC’s history is tied in some sense to the team’s experiences with Beebo.

A minor point which could mean absolutely nothing. But he does help save Sarah, and at the end of their battle, she offers him a place on the ship. He says it’s tempting. She’s not kidding and I don’t think he is either. The story isn’t ready for him to join up yet, at least I don’t think so, but it bears a strong resemblance, in my opinion, to when Deeks first appeared on NCIS: LA. When Deeks first shows up, he’s undercover and he goes back to finish that project at the end of the episode, but he promises he’ll “be back.” You can already see from the two episodes (JC is a major player in two episodes of Legends, another parallel) Deeks is in, that he’s going to be a good addition to the team. I think the same is true of JC. NCIS: LA didn’t have the room on the team or the plot line to support Deeks being on the show yet, but they were setting it up so that they would have the room and plot to bring him on as a major character not long after. I think Necromancing the Stone was the episode that directly foreshadowed JC’s eventual joining of the team.

I say that this is when they foreshadowed that JC would join, not that this is when they decided they would eventually have him join because I think they knew from the beginning of the season that they wanted that to be what eventually happened. At the end of season 2, there were already rumors that Victor Garber would be leaving meaning it would be difficult to keep Jackson on the show as a regular as well. The size and shape of the group have fluctuated a lot over the seasons, but it’s always been a big group. As a character, Amaya’s time on the ship was always going to have to come to an end before the others and the writers knew that they were losing Victor Garber and possibly also Franz Drameh. I think they were hoping that Keiynan Lonsdale would stay (I’m sad he isn’t going to be a regular, but I respect his choice to grow and explore!) but that still leaves three open places. There would certainly be room for JC.

Now here is the biggest clue, in my opinion, that they were planning on bringing JC on permanently if they could: Mallus/Malice is mentioned from the very first episode of season three. Guys, when they were plotting out the season they wrote that their “big bad” villain for season three was going to be a LITERAL DEMON. They live in the DC universe and a Demon is messing with time and space and he’s pushing through the barrier between the demon world and “ours.” There’s no way they don’t bring in JC for that. Even if they hadn’t written it that Sarah letting Malice come through to this “world” weakened the barrier separating us from demons further, they’ve already set up that demons are messing with us. I don’t think they did that and then went, “oh hey, you know who would be perfect for this plot? John Constantine!” I think they went, “You know who would be a great addition to the show now that we’re losing a couple of people? He’s even already under contract with us! Matt Ryan! We just have to write the show so that it makes sense to add him.” They’ve been steeped in magic and mythology from the beginning, but the entire second season was centered around the powers of The Spear Of Destiny so it’s not much of a stretch for a demon to come out to play is it?

I’m curious if JC will be on the show as a regular for more than one season. JC tends to be such a loner that I think it would be tricky to write the plot and his development in such a way that he doesn’t decide to go off on his own again once they’ve defeated the rising darkness. Granted, they may not get a fifth season and I’m guessing you can make “the rising darkness” and defeating demons throughout time and space quite a plot point. What I’m hoping in my heart of hearts is that the group eventually goes back in time and somehow saves Astra from getting sucked into hell in such a way that John doesn’t know she’s been saved. Demons are liars, and they’d torment John with her release even if she wasn’t in there assuming that John didn’t know she wasn’t.

I saw a trailer for the upcoming season and while there wasn’t much that was shown from the upcoming season, one of the major things--well, to me--was JC referring to the rising darkness. That was the big plot in the show Constantine and because the show only got one season, we never got to continue that. Having just finished my rewatch (told ya I’d finish the rewatch before I finished writing this), I remember why I’ve been feeling so frustrated about the show ending. I remembered that it ended with a cliffhanger and that nothing was really resolved, but I couldn’t remember specifically what had happened. I won’t go into it too deeply, but the entity that was urging John to fight the rising darkness also confessed to a different character that he was behind the rising darkness. The goal appeared to be to break the barrier altogether and make it so that earth could be taken over by supernatural creatures. I know we’re going to get a little bit of what’s been happening with JC since that show ended, but I’m wondering if we’ll get information on Chaz and Zed. I didn’t love Zed, but I didn’t dislike her either and I’m curious to see what happened to her. I did love Chaz and I think JC loved him and I’m very curious if that’s the “tragic love story” we’re going to hear. Could be something entirely different though.

I’m shipping the shit out of him and Gary, though again, how that would work long term, I’m not sure. I’d love to see it though, I really would.

I love that Brandon Routh is working with his real-life wife and that there may be something happening between their characters. I just think that’s fun.

The first season of legends was rooouuuggghhh. I don’t think I even made it to the end of the season. I don’t even remember what made me try the second season again. It could have been that I’d been watching Supergirl pretty religiously at the time and the crossover events got me reinvested. It could have been something someone said or posted. Regardless, I’m really glad I started watching again and I’m so, so excited for next season. Ughhh, I’m so ready!!

Current Mood: Geeky

I’m gonna have to write about seven hundred words a day to make my September goal and that’s including every day through the rest of the month. That’s not making any allowances for the fact that I’m unlikely to write much on the 28th, 29th, or 30th because of the trip out to England. Shit, I should probably adjust my goal based on those three days being out. I may write a few words here or there, but I doubt I’ll have the time, focus, or energy to write anything serious. I’ll be in a small apartment with both of my parents so privacy and quiet will be damned near impossible to get. I can do some writing with my folks around, but not usually much.

Which also means that I definitely have to finish my story for September, get it edited, and post it before I head out on the 27th. Goodness, the next week and a half is going to be crazy.

And what am I doing tonight when I should be working hard on a story and my word count goal? I’m watching Constantine and re-watching the moments he shows up in Legends of Tomorrow, mostly the moments when he and Gary are on screen together, like I could help myself.

I watched a trailer for season four, but at least half of the footage is from last season. I get it, they haven’t filmed enough that they can use as a preview without giving away stuff they don’t want to give away yet. They just want to tease right now and maybe also remind us of a few of the things that went on last season that just might be important this season.

In case it wasn’t obvious from my mentions of Gary and Constantine earlier, I am shipping them. I always love the ray of sunshine with the cynical asshole. I feel those relationships just balance each other so well. Sometimes those kinds of characters rub off on each other (I’m super hoping these to will literally rub off on each other *wink* *wink*), balancing each other with a little of their natures. Sometimes it’s just funny to watch them constantly tug over those viewpoints.

So it’s not that I want October 22nd to hurry up and get here (yet) because I really can’t wait for my trip to England/Ireland and I don’t want to rush that trip away. I’m hoping that will last a good long time, in a good way, if that makes sense. I’m certain that those days are going to fly by like one’s business though, regardless of what I want. But I am kind of tripping over myself. With a title like “The Virgin Gary” as the first episode and the last season ending with Gary showing up with Constantine and Constantine saying Gary has been with him, how can I not have Ideas? I’m a little worried. I don’t know what the show will do. Just because they’re pursuing one queer relationship on the show doesn’t mean they’ll pursue another, and even if they pursue another, it doesn’t mean they’ll pursue Gary and Constantine.

I do know they’re pursuing AvaLance and that things will be progressing with them, which is great. I enjoy the two of them a lot! And I love that the main character of a show, the leader of a band of time traveling, monster hunting, magic totem wielding dorks is a queer woman with a girlfriend who is also a badass leader as well.

With knowing Ava’s past and the fact that we got an episode about her story, I think they’re going to delve into her a little more. I think that will be good. I’d love to see a little of Zari and Hex too. I think they’re pretty damned cute and they both deserve some happiness.

Side note, how awesome would Helen of Troy coming out as gay and going on adventures with the Legends occasionally be? I can so see her as queer.

Anyway, in the preview, there’s this bit where it looks like Gary is standing naked (he’s at the very least shirtless) holding an apple and it looks like Constantine is there. It’s hard to tell because the clip is really fast, but I’m breathlessly hoping this means they’ve been spending lots of time together doing ridiculous, weirdly sweet things like taking art classes and playing D&D.

As I mentioned I was watching over the episodes Constantine is around, and I’m wondering if they had planned to bring in John Constantine for the fourth season pretty much since the beginning of season three, or at the very least by the middle of it. I’ve been thinking about it as I’ve watched these episodes, and there have been some things I’ve noticed, some lines I’ve caught that just seems like they were setting up for this all along.

I’ve started writing what basically amounts to a college essay on the subject of JC’s involvement on the show, but I don’t have time to finish it tonight as it’s after 3am.

(God, sometimes I wish I could just have one or two coexisting obsessions instead of constantly shifting ones; one of my friends is obsessed with Bellarke/The 100 and Hamilton… okay, she also really loves Veronica Mars and Terriers, but her main focus is Bellarke and that just seems so much easier. Here I am with my 1,493,218,474 obsessions that are in constant battle for my attention and energy; like, honestly, I don’t have time for all my obsessions. No one has time for all my obsessions. Do other people have this battle for alpha-obsession always going on in their lives? I hope other people have this kind of struggle.)

Current Mood: geeky

I’m just having such an amazing time at DragonCon this year. I mean, I’ve had an incredible time the last two times I came as well. I don’t know. I got really good at navigating the Con last year and I’ve managed to totally forget all of it this year and I have totally struggled to remember where to go, but thank goodness there’s all kinds of help all over the place and in the end I’ve gotten everywhere I wanted to go. I didn’t watch the Parade outside, because that’s not really my jam, but I did watch a chunk of it on DragonTV and I enjoyed it from my nice, cool, air conditioned spot.

It’s so funny how you think your schedule is set and then shit happens and you have to re-arrange. I made good choices today though. Or at least good for me choices.

I have just had a great time. But now I’m EXHAUSTED and I’m planning to be up early again tomorrow with a big, big day ahead so I need to pass out.

Current Mood: dorky

I’ve been trying to write a bit and it hasn’t been going particularly well today. I’m not surprised, I’m caught up in “The Host” in my head and it’s hard for me to write when I’m really obsessing about a fictional world. The only exceptions are sometimes if I’m writing fanfic in whatever world I’m obsessed with at that particular moment. Right now I’m furiously obsessed with Wanda and Ian. Especially Ian. As much as I love fictional characters with a passion that is questionable in regards to my mental wellbeing, it’s rare for me to say that I want to marry a character, but if there is a character out there I could marry it would be Ian O’Shea. I mean, he’s obviously meant to be with Wanda. They are fated and destined and all that other shit. But if I could pick a fictional character to base my future spouse on, it would be him, no question. Although, I think in reality I’m more likely to be attracted to someone like his asshole brother Kyle. I do have a tendency to go for assholes.

When I’m not obsessing over how much I love Ian O’Shea or fighting myself over how impatient I am to get to the end of the book (again), I’m obsessing about Wynonna Earp. It’s my favorite shoooowww and I’m dying. It’s not going to be the same without Dolls and it would appear that they’re really taking him off the show, that Shamier really decided to leave the show. I am just so upset about that. I love Dolls. I shipped the hell out of him and Wynonna. I still do, of course, and I’ll be writing fics with the two of them soon I’m sure. I doubt I’ll be able to resist writing at least one fix it fic. The only reason I haven’t written one yet is that I’m still deeply in denial that they aren’t going to bring him back. There is still a deep, deep part of me that believes that he’s not gone for good and that he will be back on the show in another episode or two. So I imagine, if he’s really, really not back in another couple of episodes that I’ll finally accept that he’s not coming back and at that point, I’ll write a fic. I’m just not convinced he’s dead, dead.

I was reading about legends and there’s a phoenix-like bird in some mythologies that was also associated with a dragon. I think it was Chinese. Agent Dolls is often called a dragon. He breathes fire and has weird lizard-y eyes when he loses his control or hasn’t had his drugs in a while. I was watching the episode where the ghostly US Marshalls were chasing Doc and no one could touch the apparitions except Dolls. Doc went to punch the leader and his fist went through the guy just like whatever it was Jeremy through at him did. On the other hand, Dolls’s fist landed right on the guy’s face in the middle of the ghostly dude’s speech about how “nothing from this earthly world” could touch him. Xavier Dolls has to be special because even Doc who was still wearing his special immortality ring couldn’t hit the guy. They make it about them both being Marshalls and honorable men, and maybe about the experimentation that was done on him by the Black Badge Decision, but I think if he’s able to touch someone who shouldn’t be touchable, if he can touch someone who can’t be touched by anything earthly, then Dolls has to be something a little bit more. And I refuse to think that he could be killed so easily. I know they’ve gone on and on about how all the other people who underwent that experimentation died, but Eliza got shot in like the head--it’s pretty hard to come back from that. And we don’t know how the rest of them went, we only have the word of that one guy that they’re dead at all.

I know Shamier Anderson has two movies coming out soon and maybe he couldn’t make the filming schedule work, but both of those movies are pretty much done as far as acting goes and he has no other upcoming projects listed. I mean, maybe he decided he’d move to L.A. and spend more time working on auditions and whatnot there, but lots of actors move to filming locations for filming and then live elsewhere during the rest of their time.

It’s probably that I’m going to have to accept his death soon. Intellectually, I really do understand that. I just… can’t help but hope. And considering that it’s the kind of show where anything is possible and he wouldn’t be the first character to be raised from the dead--not by a long stretch--I just can’t stop believing that he’ll somehow be back. I guess we’ll see. Otherwise, I’m writing that phoenix from the ashes story.

Current Mood: stubborn

I’m braced for emotional hell on Wynonna Earp tonight. I don’t know how much I can really prepare for anything considering. I’m probably going to be wrecked. I can stay in denial as much as I’d like and as much as I can as far as Doc’s death is considered, but that won’t make watching his friends mourn him any easier. Oh man, this is gonna suck so much. Y’all pray for me.

Current Mood: nervous

I’m hoping that now that I’ve caught up with Shadowhunters that I can digest it and then get back to writing more. There’s absolutely no reason for that to actually be the reality, especially since the real problem with my writing is that I’m obsessed with reading. Like super obsessed. I thought I’d started to come to the end of one of my manic reading periods, but it turns out, I was seriously damn wrong about that. It’s curious the way that goes. Maybe in September? Who knows. I guess we’ll see.

Speaking of September, I’m worried about my DragonCon trip. I’ve got my ticket, but that Saturday is one I’m supposed to work and because it’s a holiday weekend, I’m worried that no one is going to be able to take it for me. I get it. I wouldn’t want to take that Saturday on either if I didn’t have to, but I already paid for my ticket and made arrangements and I’m supposed to be getting to spend time with a shit ton of people I don’t normally get to spend time with and I’m just going to be really, super freaking pissed if I can’t go.

It’s too early to worry about it too much, I guess. I’ve requested people take a look. If they can’t, they can’t and I guess we’ll see what happens. Again, I can’t do anything about it right now.

For now, I have projects to manage and things to work on and writing to do and I’ll just have to figure the rest out as I go along.

Current Mood: anxious

I feel so unmotivated to write at the moment. Truly the only thing I’ve been actually motivated to do is read. Well, I am also catching up on Shadowhunters a little too. I watched a few episodes this weekend and was really enjoying it. The drama is ridiculous but I do so love it.

Not the point, the point is that I’m not much into writing at the moment. I didn’t write anything at all yesterday and the day before I only got a couple of hundred words written. I know I have to fight through writing when I’m not inspired in order to have any hope of getting inspired. I know that’s how my writing inspiration works. I’ve experienced it many times, so I know the routine. Fight through the rough times because given that time, they become the good times--the easy writing time.

But I think tonight is not the night. Tomorrow I shall try again.

Current Mood: weird

I’m still trying to figure out my Malec story. I’m thinking I may try starting over at some point. I may also need to rewatch that episode. You know, for research purposes, obviously. I’m hoping it might give me some idea of what it is that I’ve gotten wrong. Part of me wants to go to ahead and do that tonight and so that I can maybe get some ideas down and then work on the story when I’m at the desk tomorrow afternoon.

The other part of me thinks that’s a pretty terrible idea and that I need to go to bed right the fuck now. I am exhausted and I did have a stupid early morning after staying up too late last night and while I do get to sleep in tomorrow, I’ve not gotten nearly enough sleep in days and I am in serious need of a longass night’s sleep. Not to mention that I don’t know how much good working on any project right now would do me since I am as tired as I am.

My neck is killing me tonight as well as the heels and arches of my feet. I knew I shouldn’t wear the shoes I did to go for my jog last night but the state of my other shoes--lots of sand in them or having been worn too many days in a row--made it seem like I really needed to wear the oldest instead of others. Unfortunately, they just don’t have the same support the others do because they weren’t designed as specifically for arch support and because they’re older and they don’t have inserts (the other two pairs do have inserts).

The interesting part of it is that I don’t usually experience the pain while I’m exercising. So when I went on the walk/jog yesterday, I was totally fine and didn’t feel anything beyond the normal discomfort of pushing my body to the next level of the couch to 5k program. It was only after I’d sat down for a little bit that the pain really began in earnest. That’s a classic symptom of plantar fasciitis, an issue that I know I have anyway, so I don’t think there’s any heel spurs or other issues going on which is good but it’s still frustrating that I have to do with plantar fasciitis in general because it’s not fun and not easy to relieve long term.

Granted, part of the problem is probably how tired I am. No way that my body has been able to do the repairs it needs to do with me sleeping as little as I have been. I really need to get my shit together on getting rest. I know 8 a night would probably be best, but I don’t think that I can realistically expect myself to do more than 7 most work nights, at least not for a while. Lately though, I haven’t even been averaging 7. The sleep tracker thing on my iPhone says that my human body battery is about at 23% charge. I’m not sure I’m explaining that well or how it is that it gets those numbers, but I definitely agree that I am at critically low levels rest and sleep wise. Even though my shoulder has been doing so much better overall, it’s killing me tonight so I know the issue is beyond bad right now.

So yeah, I’m going to bed. I can try watching bits of Shadowhunters tomorrow. Or whenever, but not tonight.

Current Mood: exanimate

I’m dying to write this story about Magnus and Alec in the alternate universe that Clary visits towards the end of season 1. I want to watch Alec and Magnus get together in that world so much because there isn’t all the complicatedness of Alec’s involvement in the Shadowhunters, but there would still be struggles. Magnus is an immortal warlock, probably one of the few because in that timeline demons were pretty much banished and since Warlocks are the offspring of humans and (Greater?) demons, it’s unlikely that many more Warlocks had been born after the demons were banished in that universe. There are still vampires and werewolves if I’m not mistaken, but they are, or at least seem to be, self governing enough that they aren’t an issue for humans.

I do have a few struggles with that episode, in general. I find it hard to believe that Valentine would’ve been sane and stable and not a total narcissistic asshole if it hadn’t been for the existence of the Downworld and his frustrations and that Clary’s mother would’ve stayed with him. Here’s the thing, I think Valentine simply isn’t an okay guy. I think he would be as tightly involved with something subversive in this world as he is in the Shadowhunters realm--it would just manifest differently. He’s the type of guy who would get laws enacted that would allow him to lock people up before they commited a crime. He’s the kind of guy who makes you believe he loves you when really the only person he loves is himself and he just wants to use you so he’ll do whatever he has to do to in order to get what he wants.

What he wants, his ultimate goal may change because there’s no longer demons and, more importantly, no Shadowhunters, but I can’t see the man remaining sane and non-narcissistic just because he no longer wants to kill demons. And let’s be real, his desire to “cleanse the world” is not a altruistic desire. He wants glory and power. He wants an army for himself. He wants to reign over everything. His willingness to experiment on pregnant women, their unborn children, and newborn babies with the very substance that he wants to wipe from the earth shows how very much it’s not about the safety of humans. And I’m sorry, just because there are demons in the world, or angel blood in your veins doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly a great dad, an exciting boss, or a good person.

My other issue is that, Jace and Clary are dating in the other world and it strikes me as funny that Clary doesn’t think about that when Valentine says he’s Jace’s father and that Clary’s mom is also Jace’s mom in the Shadowhunter realm. If that had been true, she and Jace would’ve grown up as siblings in the other world. Of course, her actual brother Jonathan isn’t in the other world either--at least not that we see. I would’ve liked to know what Jonathan would’ve looked like and been like if he hadn’t been experimented on, given demon blood, tortured and manipulated by his father, and then sent to hell to be tortured more. It seems a lot more likely to me that he would’ve been a relatively normal, maybe even good person, had it not been for all the things that happened to him as a fetus, newborn, and child, teenager.

To me, Jonathan’s situation is not the same as Valentine’s, at least not to me. Yes, Valentine has angel blood and is faced with demons and demon decadents creatures in the Shadowhunters universe. I’m not saying that these things couldn’t have gone towards messing him up. It’s certainly possible that he has some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome in the Shadowhunter’s universe that is causing issues. And over and over again, we see that Shadowhunters are still human and can be just as evil and fucked up as anyone or anything else in their universe so I know that angel blood wouldn’t make him immune to evilness.

I’m not saying that Jonathan wouldn’t still have been fucked up. First, demon blood doesn’t make you evil either. Warlocks have it, vampires have it, and werewolves have it and there are more than a few examples of characters having that kind of blood being absolute gems. I’ve talked about my love for Magnus and Luke in the past and they’re perfect examples of the kinds of good people Downworlders can be.

Torture doesn’t make you a bad person either. Most people probably just end up being traumatized and scarred. Manipulation doesn’t mean you’ll be evil either.

But that is a lot of stuff that Jonathan would not have had going on in the alternate universe that may very well led to him having been a different person.

If you look at Izzy and Alec and Jace, I think you can see really good examples of how having “mundane” lives shaped them differently than being Shadowhunters did in the TV show universe. Izzy is brilliant and driven, but she’s allowed to be a soft little nerd. Alec is still hella intense, but he came into comfort regarding his sexuality far earlier--at least that’s my headcanon--and he doesn’t have this giant complex about “upholding the family name in the eyes of the Shadowhunters” that causes him so much pain and grief in the Shadowhunter’s universe. His intensity goes into planning parties and going after the life he wants and the people he wants.

I guess that brings me back around. I want to give that Alec and that Magnus a story, but I’m struggling to get it out. I keep tinkering with them but I haven’t figured out how to make things move along. I keep trying to go in one direction, but there’s a lot of resistance which makes me think maybe I need to go about things a different way, but I’ll be damned if I can figure out what that way is. I guess I’ll just have to keep tinkering with it.

The other issue I have is Luke Galloway not being in Clary’s life. I’ve talked about how I still think Valentine would’ve been an evil, manipulative, narcissistic asshole even if it’s an alternate universe, but that leads me to mention that it’s weird to me that Luke and Valentine aren’t best friends in the alternate universe like they were before Valentine went off the deep end. No, they would’ve have had the Shadowhunter institute to bring them together, but the universe brought Simon, Clary, Alec, Jace, and Izzy together without Shadowhunters so why wouldn’t it still bring Luke into Jocelyn and Clary’s lives? Luke is like the best person in any universe and he’s been a father not only to Clary but to Simon as well. Maybe you could argue that Valentine ended up filling that roll instead, but I still say Valentine wouldn’t turn out to be a good person just because he doesn’t deal with literal demons on a daily basis.

I’m sure I’ll rant more about this later, but for now I need to sleep. Early day tomorrow.

Current Mood: exhausted

I’ve done nothing but eat junk food and browse facebook… pretty much all day. I did manage to get a little work done, but not much at all. I mean I was on the desk for four hours, then we had a one hour meeting, then I had an hour for lunch so that only left two hours--that were split over the course of the day anyway--to do anything else anyway. We were all a little goofy and out of it anyway, so it proved to be a fun and interesting day.

Tomorrow I’m off, which is wonderful. I will get back into normal patterns tomorrow. I did wake up early and get exercise today, but I ate so much junk it wasn’t even funny. Seriously, I had three donuts, two corn dogs, and chocolate, lol. I decided to just let today be a ridiculous day and then get back on track tomorrow.

I’m watching Shadowhunters and Alec is in the streets of New York City, shooting his beautiful bow and is looking like a black clad version of Clint Barton, as evil tries to take over the world. And now I want an Avengers/Shadowhunter crossover. I can’t begin to know how I’d write such a thing or how such a thing would work, but I want it.

I want it with every fiber of my extra obsessive, fangirl heart. I’m wondering if this whole thing exists already as a fanfic somewhere. This may be something I have to look into later. Not tonight. Tonight I am going to finish my Shadowhunters rewatch and fangirl, write a bit, and then sleep like the dead for as long as humanly possible.

*Break to Obsessively watch Shadowhunters*

Okay, I had to watch the end of the last episode of season 2 without interruption. It’s bizarre, but I’m honestly tempted to start back from the beginning again. The first episode of the new season is sitting there waiting for me and I just keep looking at me like it’s going to bite me. I feel like with a lot of TV shows either the second season or the third season is crap. It’s so that one or the other isn’t weird or off pace or falling flat. I think that’s part of why I’m so reluctant to start the next season. I’m worried that when I start it, I’m going to find out that I already don’t like the third season. I love the second season immensely too, and it just feels like it’s going to be so hard to live up to that season.

I also know that the longer I put starting the season, the longer and harder it will be for me to start it. Whether or not I get sucked in once I start, is another matter altogether.

I keep sort of nodding off. Not full sleep, but enough to make it incredibly difficult to remember what I was writing. I can’t remember what I just typed and I keep getting lost. At this point I’m writing about three word sentences and that’s only once every hour.

I just can’t stay up any loner.

Current Mood: depressed

I’m glad I stayed up the other night to work more on my Shadowhunter’s story the other night! I was able to get to my word count for March on Friday night because I didn’t get a chance to write at all last night. Jaymie and I were hanging out until like 2 in the morning and maybe I could’ve written a little bit at that point, but I was pretty tired from all the cleaning I did before going, going out, and then hanging out and I’m just glad that I didn’t have to do any more writing and that I’d already met my goal. It was kind of a relief actually not to be pressured into having to write more. I’m going to try try not to be behind on my writing goals this month.

I’ve got a lot going on this month. I need figure out what I’m going to write for my Teen library post--this will be my first one, but I’ll be doing it once a month moving forward. I’m nervous about it because I’m not really sure what I’m going to do with it. The blog has traditionally just been a “Teen Librarian Recommends” but I’m not actually a librarian and I’m not sure that I want to do only recommendations each month, even if the theme was different each time.

It feels weird that I’m going back to work tomorrow, though I’m sure it’ll feel normal more or less once I’m there.

Today was the day I needed though. I’m really glad I got to spend time with Jaymie and all the other peeps yesterday, but today was the day I really needed. I slept late, which was lovely. Then I watched Shadowhunters while I had some breakfast and snuggled the dog which was awesome. It was the episode that Maia and Jace hook up because she’s disappointed about Simon and he’s still in love with Clary. It’s also a really great Malec episode too, which is of course, one of my favorite things. But yeah, the longing Jace obviously feels, no matter what bullshit he spouts, and the pull that Clary can’t seem to fight feeling anymore either if her furtive glances and hasty exits when Jace is around are any indication.

The drama in those relationships is so juicy. The next episode has one of my favorite scenes of all time in anything. Like, it’s not a great scene or anything, but just… well, the whole thing is that in order to go alive and free, Clary must kiss the person she most wants to kiss. And it’s like a stupid scene. It totally sucks for Simon who is a wonderful, beautiful, fantastic person with an incredible heart, but sometimes as much as I absolutely adore a character, I don’t want them to end up with a particular character. It’s not my fault that I’m such a sucker for some of this shit. As dumb as it is, I had the same go around about Twilight because I loved Jacob to the ends of the earth, but I always wanted Bella to end up with Edward. So yeah, as much as I want Simon to get a happily ever after, I’m desperate for Clary to have hers with Jace. Jace has been through hell and hell again. Not that Simon doesn’t go through serious shit too, he more than deserves happiness. I guess I don’t have to justify how I feel about the characters and who they end up with. I know some people ship Alec with Jace and actually, in the show, they have an incredible relationship that has moments of love and the chemistry between the actors is fantastic. I love Magnus and Alec and Jace and Clary and I’ll always choose those pairings, but I do see the closeness between Jace and Alec.

Anyway, I’m going to watch the end of this episode and head to bed. Busy day tomorrow!

Current Mood: nerdy

I already know I’m going to be up way too late tonight. I mean, it’s already after midnight and I want to write a little bit and there’s also a book calling my name and I have a distinct impression that I will be reading until I literally cannot hold my eyes open anymore or until I finish the book. It’s a fake relationship trope m/m romance and it’s written in that style that I find beyond addicting. I can’t fully explain what that style is, I only know I would give my left foot (so long as it was like under anesthesia) to be able to write that way and tell a plot like that for two hundred pages. I read the first few chapters at lunch and I was literally squealing with glee.

I was hoping that this weekend--because I’m off for three days--would be a good weekend to do some writing, but the family party is tomorrow and Jaymie is in town visiting so we’ll be doing something at some point and I can pretty much guarantee that those are going to eat my normal writing time. I mean the party will be fun so I’m not sad about that and seeing Jaymie will be awesome cause I haven’t seen her since like September so I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining (too much, anyway), but I am frustrated with myself for not getting more writing done last week when I had an entire condo to myself for three days.

I did need last weekend though. It was essential that I get that time for myself and I’m incredibly thankful that I had it.

I wish I wasn’t so tired now. I can’t be mad about being tired. I’ve been up since about five after going to sleep around 1am last night. Dad and I went to the gym and then we came back to the house so I could shower and go to work. I had a pretty good work day. I didn’t get quite as much done as I would’ve liked and I’m frustrated that I didn’t save the space to have my book club in May, but it is what it is. If I get very, very lucky, the community room will end up being available and I’ll be able to snag it. Or I’ll be able to find a better reason than, “oops forgot to reserve the space!” as an excuse for not having it that month or having it on a different night. I’ve been trying to come up with a plausible reason for having it the next Monday and I might be able to make that work.

I’m working on a Shadowhunters story based on the alternate universe that Clary and Jace visit for a little bit in the first season, but I’m struggling with it a little. I’ve been able to add little bits here and there, but there hasn’t been any flow. I think part of the problem is I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I want to see happen and how I want it to happen. I have a vague idea, but I may need to spend some more thorough time plotting it out in order to get any real traction on the story. Maybe “plot it out” is a bit strong of a statement, but definitely, have a more concrete idea of how I want things to go than I do now. Right now, I just know I want the boys to pine for each other before they end up together, but no story writing is really THAT easy. There are definitely a lot more factors to consider.

Man, as much as I was hoping to read that whole book tonight, my eyes are watering when I yawn, and I feel like my eyelids are trying to lift the weights I was working with this morning (all of them) so I doubt I’ll be conscious much longer.

I hope everyone has an incredible weekend.

Current Mood: tired

I head back home today from the beach. It’s so much more beautiful here today than I thought it would be. The weather predictions were pretty dire for the day originally—rainy and cold, but it’s actually just kind of overcast with a little sun peaking through.

I’m watching Shadowhunters today again. I was going to watch while I ate my lunch, but I ended up coloring a page instead, though, now I am actually eating my lunch so I guess there’s that. I’ve almost finished season 1–I think I knew I would have to watch the Magnus episode before I went home today. I was never going to be able to leave before I got to watch them get to THAT moment. Ridiculous, I know.

Yesterday I spoke about how much I love Luke Galloway, and I totalllyyy do, but I also want to talk about how much I love Magnus Bane, omg. Unapologetic, beautiful, powerful as fuck, and bisexual as fuck?? Not to mention, a person of color? BE STILL MY HEART.

This show is one of my few exceptions to the “the book was better” rule of thumb. I enjoyed the books, I did. I read the original series, but I haven’t read any of the prequels or the follow up series. I may one day, but I read the books because of Magnus and Alec, so I’m not sure about reading any of the others.

Oh man, almost to the moment! I love the way they wrote Lydia’s reaction. I was so worried about who they would make her be, but they wrote this wonderful, strong, courageous woman and I just couldn’t have been happier about that.

Okay, I gotta get go, lol.

I may have to write more on this later.

Current Mood: happy

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Confessions of Fangirl

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