float_on_alright: (no idea what i'm doing out of bed)

I was bemoaning to Reb that it’s difficult to find the time and headspace to write the porn story I want to write, which is true. But what’s also true, is that I’ve been alone with time to write for the last two hours and change, and I’ve rewatched episodes of “Second Chance” instead. I put on something I’d seen before thinking that I would write while I watched it, but of course I didn’t and now I’ve forced myself to turn it off and I really needed to head to bed about forty minutes ago. The other part of the problem is that John Constantine is still my Alpha-Obsession for the moment so whenever I go to write, I’m still thinking about him and what this upcoming season is going to be.


I did get enough writing done that I’m not behind on my goal for the month overall but I’m probably going to be a little shy of my stretch goal--which is to be done before I go to England in case I don’t have time/energy to write at all while I’m there. I should probably look into getting some sort of journaling app for while I’m there that I can use to store my day to day rambles until I can get to a wifi spot. Still, I think that’s a tomorrow issue, because like I said, it’s past my bedtime.

float_on_alright: (vex worrisome)

As I mentioned previously, I think it may have been the plan to have John Constantine join the Legends in the upcoming season (season 4) for all, or at least most, of season three. I’ve been spending far more time on this than any person should, but I’m in it now. I’m very nearly done with my rewatch of Constantine (I may finish it before I finish writing this post, honestly), and I’ve also been through Constantine's appearances in Daddy Darhkest, Necromancing the Stone, and The Good, The Bad, and The Cuddly two or three times now so you know that I’m dedicated to this right now. John Constantine is my current obsession (The Meg is still kicking around in my brain, especially Jaxx and Lori, Avengers is basically always in there somewhere, and there are always things like Wynonna and Shadowhunters kicking around in there, but John Constantine, for the moment has emerged as Alpha Obsession.)


So basically this is about to be me rambling about John Constantine, the Legends, some random demons and what things are making me think Constantine’s joining the Legends for season four was planned from the beginning of season three (assuming they got renewed, of course).


John Constantine comes to the Legends, well to Sarah when he runs into Nora Darhk as a young, possessed girl and is trying to do an exorcism. All the shit with the exorcism goes down--it’s not pretty. The thing is though, Constantine has great chemistry with the group. Their group has always been one of misfits and broken pieces and John Constantine is both of those things.


(Quick side note, nothing is quite working right with JC’s spells when it comes to Mallus/Malice and considering the demon’s name is Malice, but they’re calling him Mallus it makes sense. They just don’t know that’s the issue messing up the spell. I love that they’ve been messing up his name the whole season. It’s like Benjamin Cucumbering his name unintentionally or something.)


They directly set up a few things--in my mind--with the Daddy Darhkest episode:

  1. Obviously, they set up Norah’s background and how she becomes possessed by Malice.

  2. Sarah is going to get taken over by Mallus/Malice again.

  3. JC will be called on to help them again. No way is anyone going to just try to kill Sarah the way JC instructs Ray to do at the end of the episode.

  4. Sarah in the past likely would not have paused before a hook up with someone to say “are we really that damaged?”--she would’ve just hooked up with them. She was sleeping with her sister’s boyfriend pre-Arrow, let’s not forget, and that was BEFORE she went through hell, became an assassin, died, got brought back to life without her soul, experienced her soul being tortured while her body walked around without it, lost her sister, and went through all the things she went through in the first two and a half seasons of Legends of Tomorrow. I love the girl, and I love that I don’t see her being slut-shamed, not really, nor am I slut-shaming now. What I’m pointing out is that she’s changing now that Ava’s in her life. I love that JC says he and Ava have great taste in damaged women when he finds out Sarah has been with Ava. Ava doesn’t like that Sarah had sex with John, but it’s mostly jealousy because it was after she and Sarah met and so close to the two of them starting to see each other seriously. And she doesn’t make it like Sarah is bad for sleeping with someone, only that JC is an arrogant, messy, weird, dumpster fire of a person. God love him. Shit… I digressed again. That is in the next Constantine episode.


So Sarah does get taken back over by Mallus (I know his name is Malice, but they spent so much time calling him Mallus that I can’t stop) and the team can’t bear to kill Sarah, as expected. It’s Ava and Gary (squee precious baby, I love him) who decide to go track down JC.


Here again, JC has amazing chemistry with Ava and Gary. Gary has amazing chemistry with everyone in my opinion, mostly because he’s just such a darling. Ava and JC though are such polar opposites. JC doesn’t have a cell phone, Ava has a device that lets her make doorways into anywhere in time and space. JC is a man of magic and chaos, Ava is a woman of order and technology. If ever two people were oil and water, it’s these two. And they work against each other so beautifully. (I think Ava likes JC just a little bit for kissing Gary because for all the shit she gives Gary, I think he means a lot to her.)


Matt Ryan has been playing JC on and off for four years, he has this character down. I’ll admit that I enjoyed the Keanu Reeves movie and they picked the perfect guy to play Papa Midnight, but when it comes to comic book character JC portrayals, Matt Ryan slays. And he comes on a set and just is unbelievable. It’s like he’s been working with them forever. I love him, I’m so excited that he’s going to be on this upcoming season.  


Right. Ah, concentration you are a fickle thing. So, back to my point.


In Necromancing the Stone, JC establishes a history with Beebo, which I mention because Beebo is such a wild concept as a plot point. He says he put a spell on one of the toys to make it talk and it told some crazy stories. We don’t hear the stories, but we know a good bit of what has been going down with Beebo, like one stumbling into Viking history. This would suggest that JC’s history is tied in some sense to the team’s experiences with Beebo.


A minor point which could mean absolutely nothing. But he does help save Sarah, and at the end of their battle, she offers him a place on the ship. He says it’s tempting. She’s not kidding and I don’t think he is either. The story isn’t ready for him to join up yet, at least I don’t think so, but it bears a strong resemblance, in my opinion, to when Deeks first appeared on NCIS: LA. When Deeks first shows up, he’s undercover and he goes back to finish that project at the end of the episode, but he promises he’ll “be back.” You can already see from the two episodes (JC is a major player in two episodes of Legends, another parallel) Deeks is in, that he’s going to be a good addition to the team. I think the same is true of JC. NCIS: LA didn’t have the room on the team or the plot line to support Deeks being on the show yet, but they were setting it up so that they would have the room and plot to bring him on as a major character not long after. I think Necromancing the Stone was the episode that directly foreshadowed JC’s eventual joining of the team.


I say that this is when they foreshadowed that JC would join, not that this is when they decided they would eventually have him join because I think they knew from the beginning of the season that they wanted that to be what eventually happened. At the end of season 2, there were already rumors that Victor Garber would be leaving meaning it would be difficult to keep Jackson on the show as a regular as well. The size and shape of the group have fluctuated a lot over the seasons, but it’s always been a big group. As a character, Amaya’s time on the ship was always going to have to come to an end before the others and the writers knew that they were losing Victor Garber and possibly also Franz Drameh. I think they were hoping that Keiynan Lonsdale would stay (I’m sad he isn’t going to be a regular, but I respect his choice to grow and explore!) but that still leaves three open places. There would certainly be room for JC.


Now here is the biggest clue, in my opinion, that they were planning on bringing JC on permanently if they could: Mallus/Malice is mentioned from the very first episode of season three. Guys, when they were plotting out the season they wrote that their “big bad” villain for season three was going to be a LITERAL DEMON. They live in the DC universe and a Demon is messing with time and space and he’s pushing through the barrier between the demon world and “ours.” There’s no way they don’t bring in JC for that. Even if they hadn’t written it that Sarah letting Malice come through to this “world” weakened the barrier separating us from demons further, they’ve already set up that demons are messing with us. I don’t think they did that and then went, “oh hey, you know who would be perfect for this plot? John Constantine!” I think they went, “You know who would be a great addition to the show now that we’re losing a couple of people? He’s even already under contract with us! Matt Ryan! We just have to write the show so that it makes sense to add him.” They’ve been steeped in magic and mythology from the beginning, but the entire second season was centered around the powers of The Spear Of Destiny so it’s not much of a stretch for a demon to come out to play is it?


I’m curious if JC will be on the show as a regular for more than one season. JC tends to be such a loner that I think it would be tricky to write the plot and his development in such a way that he doesn’t decide to go off on his own again once they’ve defeated the rising darkness. Granted, they may not get a fifth season and I’m guessing you can make “the rising darkness” and defeating demons throughout time and space quite a plot point. What I’m hoping in my heart of hearts is that the group eventually goes back in time and somehow saves Astra from getting sucked into hell in such a way that John doesn’t know she’s been saved. Demons are liars, and they’d torment John with her release even if she wasn’t in there assuming that John didn’t know she wasn’t.


I saw a trailer for the upcoming season and while there wasn’t much that was shown from the upcoming season, one of the major things--well, to me--was JC referring to the rising darkness. That was the big plot in the show Constantine and because the show only got one season, we never got to continue that. Having just finished my rewatch (told ya I’d finish the rewatch before I finished writing this), I remember why I’ve been feeling so frustrated about the show ending. I remembered that it ended with a cliffhanger and that nothing was really resolved, but I couldn’t remember specifically what had happened. I won’t go into it too deeply, but the entity that was urging John to fight the rising darkness also confessed to a different character that he was behind the rising darkness. The goal appeared to be to break the barrier altogether and make it so that earth could be taken over by supernatural creatures. I know we’re going to get a little bit of what’s been happening with JC since that show ended, but I’m wondering if we’ll get information on Chaz and Zed. I didn’t love Zed, but I didn’t dislike her either and I’m curious to see what happened to her. I did love Chaz and I think JC loved him and I’m very curious if that’s the “tragic love story” we’re going to hear. Could be something entirely different though.


I’m shipping the shit out of him and Gary, though again, how that would work long term, I’m not sure. I’d love to see it though, I really would.


I love that Brandon Routh is working with his real-life wife and that there may be something happening between their characters. I just think that’s fun.


The first season of legends was rooouuuggghhh. I don’t think I even made it to the end of the season. I don’t even remember what made me try the second season again. It could have been that I’d been watching Supergirl pretty religiously at the time and the crossover events got me reinvested. It could have been something someone said or posted. Regardless, I’m really glad I started watching again and I’m so, so excited for next season. Ughhh, I’m so ready!!

float_on_alright: (There's always something you can do)

I’m gonna have to write about seven hundred words a day to make my September goal and that’s including every day through the rest of the month. That’s not making any allowances for the fact that I’m unlikely to write much on the 28th, 29th, or 30th because of the trip out to England. Shit, I should probably adjust my goal based on those three days being out. I may write a few words here or there, but I doubt I’ll have the time, focus, or energy to write anything serious. I’ll be in a small apartment with both of my parents so privacy and quiet will be damned near impossible to get. I can do some writing with my folks around, but not usually much.

 

Which also means that I definitely have to finish my story for September, get it edited, and post it before I head out on the 27th. Goodness, the next week and a half is going to be crazy.

 

And what am I doing tonight when I should be working hard on a story and my word count goal? I’m watching Constantine and re-watching the moments he shows up in Legends of Tomorrow, mostly the moments when he and Gary are on screen together, like I could help myself.

 

I watched a trailer for season four, but at least half of the footage is from last season. I get it, they haven’t filmed enough that they can use as a preview without giving away stuff they don’t want to give away yet. They just want to tease right now and maybe also remind us of a few of the things that went on last season that just might be important this season.

 

In case it wasn’t obvious from my mentions of Gary and Constantine earlier, I am shipping them. I always love the ray of sunshine with the cynical asshole. I feel those relationships just balance each other so well. Sometimes those kinds of characters rub off on each other (I’m super hoping these to will literally rub off on each other *wink* *wink*), balancing each other with a little of their natures. Sometimes it’s just funny to watch them constantly tug over those viewpoints.

 

So it’s not that I want October 22nd to hurry up and get here (yet) because I really can’t wait for my trip to England/Ireland and I don’t want to rush that trip away. I’m hoping that will last a good long time, in a good way, if that makes sense. I’m certain that those days are going to fly by like one’s business though, regardless of what I want. But I am kind of tripping over myself. With a title like “The Virgin Gary” as the first episode and the last season ending with Gary showing up with Constantine and Constantine saying Gary has been with him, how can I not have Ideas? I’m a little worried. I don’t know what the show will do. Just because they’re pursuing one queer relationship on the show doesn’t mean they’ll pursue another, and even if they pursue another, it doesn’t mean they’ll pursue Gary and Constantine.

 

I do know they’re pursuing AvaLance and that things will be progressing with them, which is great. I enjoy the two of them a lot! And I love that the main character of a show, the leader of a band of time traveling, monster hunting, magic totem wielding dorks is a queer woman with a girlfriend who is also a badass leader as well.

 

With knowing Ava’s past and the fact that we got an episode about her story, I think they’re going to delve into her a little more. I think that will be good. I’d love to see a little of Zari and Hex too. I think they’re pretty damned cute and they both deserve some happiness.

 

Side note, how awesome would Helen of Troy coming out as gay and going on adventures with the Legends occasionally be? I can so see her as queer.

 

Anyway, in the preview, there’s this bit where it looks like Gary is standing naked (he’s at the very least shirtless) holding an apple and it looks like Constantine is there. It’s hard to tell because the clip is really fast, but I’m breathlessly hoping this means they’ve been spending lots of time together doing ridiculous, weirdly sweet things like taking art classes and playing D&D.

 

As I mentioned I was watching over the episodes Constantine is around, and I’m wondering if they had planned to bring in John Constantine for the fourth season pretty much since the beginning of season three, or at the very least by the middle of it. I’ve been thinking about it as I’ve watched these episodes, and there have been some things I’ve noticed, some lines I’ve caught that just seems like they were setting up for this all along.

 

I’ve started writing what basically amounts to a college essay on the subject of JC’s involvement on the show, but I don’t have time to finish it tonight as it’s after 3am.

 

(God, sometimes I wish I could just have one or two coexisting obsessions instead of constantly shifting ones; one of my friends is obsessed with Bellarke/The 100 and Hamilton… okay, she also really loves Veronica Mars and Terriers, but her main focus is Bellarke and that just seems so much easier. Here I am with my 1,493,218,474 obsessions that are in constant battle for my attention and energy; like, honestly, I don’t have time for all my obsessions. No one has time for all my obsessions. Do other people have this battle for alpha-obsession always going on in their lives? I hope other people have this kind of struggle.)

 

 

 

 

float_on_alright: (hardison what did i say)

I think I’m mostly packed for this weekend. I need to take some stuff out of my trunk so that I can fit my luggage and my friend’s when we’re on our way back as well as two grown ass adults. I’m so excited for this weekend. It’s going to be a blast, if utterly exhausting. I’m trying to prep myself in advance for how tired I’m going to be though I don’t know if that’s possible. Plus, I’m not sure that I should. I may be making myself more tired just by telling myself how tired I’m going to be. I’m excited and nervous and anxious and chomping at the bit. It’s such a crazy tumbling mess of emotions for me. The last time I went was easier than the first time I went, so I’m hoping this time will be easier than the last time.

 

I’m sort of vaguely prepared. I maybe have enough clothes. I’m relatively confident in the amount of packing I did for socks and underwear and I think I have everything I got for my cosplay together, plus some extra. Shit. Except I should totally put my nose ring back in. And I should take a flash drive. God, I’ve already got a giant bag and I’m still not sure I have everything I’m going to need.

 

I need to calm down. No matter what I do or don’t take, no matter what I do or don’t do, this is all going to be totally fine. Actually, it’s going to be better than fine. And now I need to get some sleep and let my brain rest so I can drive safely tomorrow and hopefully make it through the day and get everything I need to get done, done.

  

float_on_alright: (this is not a musical cartoon let it go)
 

Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, OH MMAAAANNNNN. “Competence” comes out tonight and I’m so, so readdddyyyy. I already know that I’m not going to be doing much of anything besides listening to that book until I’ve finished it. It sucks for my writing goals because I’m not likely to get a lot of writing done tomorrow and maybe not the next day either. I am so excited. I guess that’s obvious. It’s only that I’ve been waiting so very long.

 

I was pleased I got a little further in the story I’m working on for this month before I went to bed last night. I need to try to get a chunk of something written tonight before I go to bed, because I’ve got a big day tomorrow and I’m sure I’ll want to listen to my book which will mean a lot of squeezing in hours of listening wherever possible and the likelihood of staying up too late so that I can finish it. How I’m going to listen to a 12-hour book in a single workday, I don’t know, but dammit, I’m gonna try.

 

That’s probably a silly thing to do since I’m going to have to wait two years for the next one to come out, but I have a feeling that because this one is centered on Primrose and the next one is centered on Percy that it will wrap up well enough for me to be satisfied until the next one comes out. Not that I won’t be desperately excited for the next book because of course, I will, but Primrose might be getting a love story with Tasharet, the enchantingly beautiful were-lioness and they’re just so unbelievably… God, I don’t even know how to describe them. But I am DYING to find out what happens between them. DYING I tell you. I also said that I was going to sleep in on Wednesday so at the very least I won’t be up at 5 am after not having gone to sleep until four am. I may not get to sleep any later than 7:20, but four hours is better than one.

 

Work is gonna be the worst tomorrow. I just don’t see how I’m going to be able to get much of anything done. Like at all. Hopefully, I’ll be able to use my time on the desk to write a little because otherwise, I’m probably not getting any shit written tomorrow.


float_on_alright: (take my advice)
 Today was an interesting day. I honestly felt like it was over before I had a chance to process that it was happening. I was busy when I was at the desk, and then when I was off the desk, I was distracted by things like my co-worker Jonathan and the shenanigans that come with our being in the same room or me just in general getting swept up in display options. It was nice that the day went by so quickly though of course, that means that I didn't get much of anything done and tomorrow I'll be doing training at the circulation desk so I won't have a lot of time for projects tomorrow. Friday I'll be on the desk all day. I'll be on with Jonathan and Jonita. I've worked with both of them plenty, but I don't think I've been on the desk with them at the same time which is odd now that I think about it. 

And the idea is a bit like having your mom along as a chaperone on a school field trip when you've been partnered with one of your favorite classmates. I just honestly don't know how else to describe it. Jonita comes off very sweet, but she's still the branch manager, and as I mentioned, there are shenanigans when Jonathan and I are working together so things could get interesting. 

I was glad today went by quickly because I didn't get nearly last night and I worried I would get too tired to function today. Instead, I was a ball of adrenaline and caffeine. Not the smartest thing to do but I'm not always the brightest grape in the bunch. To be fair, I did actually have a bit of trouble going to sleep once I got in bed. Trouble sleeping is pretty damn rare for me, but I've got a lot on my mind and a lot coming up over the coming months, and there is still a lot about the job I'm getting used to. Plus, I think I just didn't want Christmas break to be over. 

I really need like two days of doing nothing--absolutely nothing at all. I don't know when I'll get to do that. I'd like to call out of work one day and just breathe for a minute, but I can't call out on the days that I have stuff going on unless I'm really sick and I have stuff going on pretty much every day. Or I need to be there because we're going to be down a staff member already. Plus, if I can make it another two days without calling out sick, I'll get an extra four hours of vacation time which will be extremely helpful for my trip to see Ju'Leia, DragonCon, and dad's 60th birthday adventure--whatever and whenever that might be. 

That's the other part of calling out. It'd have to be sick leave since I'm going to need all the vacation time I can wrangle and if I don't use sick leave for seven pay periods in a row (that's about 98 days), I get the extra vacation time. Now, 98 days in a row is a chunk, but I'm almost there for my first set of 7, and I would be so mad if, with only two days needed to get it, I took sick leave and reset the counter to zero. I mean, how awful would that be??

I know I can make it. I'm sure I can. I just might be asleep when I get to my friend's on Friday night. I'm sure she'd understand though, so that'll be fine. And with two other girls going for the weekend as well, it's not like anyone will be relying on me to be the entertainment. 

It is going to be tough. I have a lot of reading and writing to complete before the end of the year, and I'm pretty determined to get there, but it's going to mean sacrificing a little sleep. My poor sleep. At least I don't have to get up as early as I used to back in the Scholastic Days, that certainly is a big help. 

Alright, I need to finish up a few other things and head to bed to get what sleep I can get tonight. 

<3
float_on_alright: (Default)

So 800 years ago... okay, it was May of 2012. So five and half years ago I posted that I was going to take on the Big Damn Table for the Avengers. I did post a few stories—six I believe—but I had a lot more to go when I fell off writing. I can’t remember if I fell off writing completely for a while or if I just fell off the Avengers for a bit. It could have been either. Life is crazy all the time and it is easy to get lost in the madness and not make time to write (sometimes it comes down to sleeping for a few hours a night or not sleeping at all and writing and there are times you have to choose those few hours of sleep or the time to shower or you fall into a depression that consumes all your engery to survive). Sometimes you just get tired of writing in a particular world. I’d written a hell of a lot of Avengers fanfic at that point so it could very well have been that I just burned out for a bit. I don’t suppose it matters why I quit. 


You know what? We’re not going to call it quitting, we’re going to call it “temporarily suspended progress.” Yeah. But I just wrote a terrible story for Rebby (it needs at least a little editing before I post it but I likely won’t do that until tomorrow) and it mad me feel like getting back into the Avengers FanFic writing mood and it’s pretty much the perfect time since the we’ve had so many epic movies in the last year and we have both Black Panther and Infinity War coming up in the next—what, six months? When better to start writing? I know a lot of my initial stories were written right before the first movie came out. I mean some of them came later, but I think most of them came pre-the first ensemble movie. 


I still want to see more of Darcy so I have a feeling that she is going to feature in quite a few. I don’t know how, exactly, I’m going to work that yet since Jane and Thor broke up, but dammit I’m sure I’ll think of something. I probably will need to rewatch some of the other movies again to work out some things—the horror. 


Well, I’d better get some sleep but I’ve posted the table below and tomorrow I’ll work on making the table into a list as well so I can mark off the ones I’ve done so far. 



Big Damn Table


starsunderstandingarguments/fightingconversationdarkness
againwarmbreathingcoldhurt
lostrainunexpectedsunshineabrupt
pictureslettershardsoftreminder
relaxationdreamshospitalin the pastin the future
kitchenlate nighton the runearly morningtaking charge
coatsleadershipsharinghidinghelp
riskbloodpowerAvenger/snightmares
timecontrolfairnesstrustdo-over
regretstransportationemptywashingmission


P.S. Yes I said I was going to nap... oops. 
float_on_alright: procrastination is hard work (procrastination is hard work)
I didn’t write anything yesterday because I didn’t. I was too lazy I guess. I’m a little behind on my writing goal. And yet again today I have put off writing until the point at which I really do need to just go bed. I don’t know why I do this to myself. The words to buy books worked really well for me last month, but most of what I’ve been wanting to read I either already have or is available through one of the libraries or one of my subscriptions. I’m also spending a ton on Christmas and birthday presents this month so I’ve just been banking the words I do have for when I’m not spending all my money on Christmas and Birthday presents… And seeing The Last Jedi in theaters 8,932 times. 

I won’t say anything about it—I definitely don’t want to spoil anyone, but I very much enjoyed it. There was lots of humor, high stakes, and more emotions than you can shake two sticks at. Truly, it was just a powerful movie. There are some things I have questions about, one thing in particular still doesn’t… quite make sense? It doesn’t totally not make sense but it’s inclusion also seems odd. I don’t know how else to describe it and I don’t want to say anything that might spoil people, so I won’t elaborate beyond “the mirror cavern” because if you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about but if you haven’t it won’t give anything away for you. If you have thoughts on the mirror cavern though, I want to hear them. 

I’ve already got tickets for my friend Megan and I to see it so I’m excited for that and looking forward to being able to catch more this time around. 

I want to talk about The Nutcracker too but I’m tired and work will come early tomorrow so I’m going to say goodnight for now. 

float_on_alright: when in doubt go to the library (when in doubt go to the library)
 

I said I would host a few write-ins at work which I am so excited about. I only had one person there today but it was fun and she asked if we could do a sprint together so we did a little fifteen minute sprint and it was amazing! I got a few more words written. I’ve got enough words now to buy the book I’ve been dying to get!


I haven’t written this many words in this short a time in months so I have to say that this has been a pretty effective way of motivating me to write. The sprint I did was fiction too which I haven’t written since… well, gosh I’m not sure. It’s been a minute though. I really haven’t written much of anything that wasn’t me ranting since before the workshop so I’m really pleased about that.


I really just want to read my book tonight. And sleep.


It’s been a fun day overall and I’m looking forward to tomorrow too. I enjoy Tuesdays because I can sleep in, lol. I got to sleep in today too so that was great. Wednesday there’s a morning meeting so I’ll have to be in BY 8 and Thursday I’m going to one of the other branches to help with a program they’re having for teens. I’m excited and nervous about that too.


My days go by so fast at the library for the most part. I know that part of it is that I’m new and anything new has a certain amount of “not-mundane” to it, but I’m really enjoying myself so far. Today was over in a blink. What’s nice about that is that I feel like I’m tired in good ways. I’m also getting more rest overall. I’m not sleeping as much on the weekends either because I’m not as exhausted at the end of the week. I track my sleep using the “Sleep Cycle” app. I started tracking it in August at Scholastic and my average sleep per night was just under 6.5 hours. I know there are people who sleep less than that, but keep in mind that was including the 10-11 hours I’d sleep on weekends and days off.


And here’s the other part of that: I am not an insomniac. I don’t have any trouble going to sleep or staying asleep. My problem was going to bed--I’m better at it now and with the slight change in hours, I’m able to sleep a little later. Between the new hours and being better at going to bed, my average is now nearly to 7 hours (6 hours and 59 minutes)!


I know lots of people get much less sleep because they can’t get to sleep or they can’t stay asleep or some horrible combination of those things and it honestly hurts my heart that people are so badly rested because they can’t sleep. I was exhausted and sick with lack of sleep because I was doing it to myself. I was choosing not to get the sleep I so badly needed and that is not the same issue.


Anyway, I’m going to head to my bed for the night. Good luck to my other writer friends!

float_on_alright: (the hair)
 

I didn’t do the assignments from chapter 8 this week but I think just reading the chapter helped me. I don’t want to move on to chapter 9 though yet. I know this 12 week course has turned into something like a 7 month sprawl but I think it’s important to do all the work even if I haven’t been good about keeping it to twelve weeks.


The author has several other books on writing and I have a copy of “Writing Down the Bones” as well to study. I was also trying some other writing books. All good, all helpful, but I think one writing book at a time (not counting books that are just full of writing prompts—those are good support but they aren’t “study” or “assignment” books, at least in my opinion) is how I need to go. I’m thinking after I finish the work in “The Artist’s Way” I am going to work through her book about writing for weight loss. I have a feeling there will be gold in them there hills.


I suppose I shouldn’t get too far ahead of myself though, I’m still working through this book and I have five weeks of work left to do.


One of the assignments is to work with five of the recommended affirmations she suggests. I totally forgot about them for this week, along with everything else I forgot. I’m thinking I’m going to type them out here so I can see which ones “feel” the best.


FYI when she talks about “God” she means it as the energy of the universe or whichever deity to you believe in.


I am a talented person.

I have a right to be an artist.

Creativity is a blessing I accept.

My creativity blesses others.

My creativity is appreciated.

I now treat myself and my creativity more gently.

I now treat myself and my creativity more generously.

I accept hope.

I now act affirmatively.

I now accept creative recovery.

I now act affirmatively.

I now allow myself to heal.

I now accept God’s help unfolding my life.

I now believe God loves artists.


I think the five that are going to be the most important to me are:


  1. I now allow myself to heal.

  2. I now accept creative recovery.

  3. I now treat myself and my creativity more generously.

  4. My creativity is appreciated.

  5. I have a right to be an artist.


Yeah, those are the things that hit me the deepest and I know when you’re working with affirmations that they have to be the things that strike you or they won’t make a difference in your mindset--which is the whole point.


I’ll need to remember to say these or write these a few times a day throughout the week and hopefully that won’t be too hard. It is usually easier for me to keep up with the things I post online than any other things I’ve tried. It’s not perfect, but I don’t think anything really is.


It feels good to be writing again even though it also feels like pulling teeth. That probably seems a little like an oxymoron or something, but I don’t know how else to describe the riot going on in me.


I’ve spent the weekend being fairly productive which feels good. I did finish a book which was great and the art thing yesterday was just so, so good for my soul. I really am going to have to do stuff like that more often because I deeply needed it. I’m hoping that I don’t have to go to an art studio type thing to get that same feeling. I’m kind of hoping that closing myself off in my room or chilling alone in the backyard with the dog and some watercolors might do the same thing for me. Art instruction is invaluable but I feel like YouTube videos could give me enough for what I want to do which is basically feel vaguely creative and quiet. That’s a lot cheaper, lol. It’s not that I want to be stingy with the money I put into taking care of my “inner artist,” it’s just that I want to take better care of my finances overall. And there has to be a way to balance those things.


Today has been lovely. I slept late and puttered around. I watched a few episodes of Orphan Black and helped dad go over a few medical things. Now, I’m watching Hallmark Christmas movies (I’m on my second for the evening). These movies really do make me feel joyful. I won’t swear that I won’t watch one more before I go to bed tonight. I get sleep in later tomorrow because I’m not going in until 10. I’m doing my first book club and a write-in tomorrow evening so since I’m going to stay later than usual, I don’t have to be in as early. I’ll need a shower in the morning and I probably should walk the dog, poor thing.


I’m so nervous for my book club tomorrow which is dumb because my friends are coming to support me and it’ll all be totally fine. I have some questions to ask to help keep the conversation going if needed. I know I’ll be tempted to just talk to my friends about their lives, lol. Unless of course other people show up. If other people show up then it’ll probably be easier not to just talk about people’s lives but at the same time, OH GOD WHAT IF OTHER PEOPLE SHOW UP???!! Like I know that is the point, but GOOD GOD THAT’S TERRIFYING. I mean, I guess I am hoping for that so that my friends don’t have to always come to my book club forever until the end of time, but I’m still nervous.


I have an event about housing a few weeks and I’ll probably get a little nervous about that but I won’t get worked up about it because it isn’t as personal. I think it’s an important thing to do and I think it’s something beneficial for the people in my library, but I’m not going to be personally upset if no one comes. Of course, I might be singing a different tune next month!


I hope things go well tomorrow. I really want to be great at the library. I want to do good things and start programs that people enjoy and/or find useful. I want to be good at the job. I want my place there to matter. Wish me luck for tomorrow!


Rambling

Jun. 22nd, 2017 01:24 am
float_on_alright: (lucificer says this is boring and pointl)
 

I’ve done a little writing today and managed to do two job applications. I also took a walk this morning “with” my friend Emily (we talked on the phone while we walked around our perspective neighborhoods) which was really fun actually. At work we often take walks in the morning on our break. She and I spend a good bit more time at work being sociable than we should be maybe. But seriously, not seeing each other for more than a couple of days at a time is sort of weird. I mean I know I worked last summer and she didn’t but that seems like … well several years ago if I’m honest. Last summer seems as far away from me as working for iTunes four years ago. Isn’t it strange the way time passes? I can’t believe how quickly this past year went by for the most part. I felt like I blinked and it was gone and at the same time, the last few months feel like they were years ago. Maybe it’s something about having this summer off that makes everything else feel so strange. Being off right now, it almost feels like this was always my life and I just had a weird dream about working the last year.

 

Time is so strange. The last few days have gone by quickly too but in a different way, I think. I thought I might try to make a schedule for myself, but I tend to not follow schedules even when I’m the one that makes them so I don’t figure I’ll bother, at least not at the moment. So far I’ve done a good job at staying productive - even if I’m behind on some of my homework. I did make it to the “office hour” today too which made me happy. They’re having an extra one this week on Friday but in the evening so I don’t think I’ll be able to attend that one. If they still have the one Saturday morning, I might make it up in time for that. Emily and I are going to a performance by one of our other co-workers choir group on Friday evening and then of course there’s Wynonna Earp and any squee-ing that might involve. Last Friday I was so exhausted I barely made it through the episode before I was unconscious.

 

Speaking of Fridays, I think Killjoys is back next week which is lovely. I sure do enjoy Killjoys too. And what a lineup! I think Dutch would love Wynonna.

 

I digress. Not that this really had a point except for that I think I find it a little easier to write my fiction after I’ve rambled for a bit about my real life.

 

I’ve got another busy day lined up tomorrow and hopefully that means I’ll be working on my assignments. Wish me luck y’all.


float_on_alright: kate bishop with her head on a desk in exasperation (asdf)
 

I fought sleep for too long last night and while I did sleep in, I didn’t get quite as much as I think I could use so I really need to be headed to bed soon. I sat down a few times throughout the day to do some writing and other than editing last night catastrophes I haven’t written anything. I was productive - my bathroom looks awesome. It got a good decluttering and a deep cleaning. That felt really good. And I learned a little sign language - mostly started practicing counting and the alphabet "song".

I do need to write a “Thank you” letter to Google Drive and the “restore previous version” option because without it I would have lost not only the 500 - 600 words I wrote in my journal last night but also 13 pages of my Wynonna Earp fanfic and I was devastated when I thought I’d lost it. I was absolutely beside myself that all that work was gone especially since that was my second attempt but I had deleted the original version since I’d pulled everything I wanted from it already. The story’s beginning was just starting to flow in a way that I liked it and I’d just written part of a scene that will happen later in the story than everything else I have written so far but that I was excited to get down “on paper”. I didn’t think I was going to be able to rewrite it properly and my heart was just broken.


I know I should probably have copies saved multiple places but I tend to have a difficult time with that when it comes to things I’m actively working on because updating just gets well. When it comes to things like resumes, I am pretty good at backing those up, but again if it’s something I have in progress keeping which version is the most recent straight and which ones need to be updated just tends to mess me up. Well, I guess the point is, thank you Google.


And also, thank God I decided to search to see if there was a way to restore my documents because I could’ve just written it off and I’d be sitting here crying on my keyboard.


We were supposed to have family coming to visit tonight but traffic and conspired to make it so that driving the two hours out of their way to visit us on their way back to Maryland just didn’t work. I told mom that we could go visit them up there over the summer and that we’d just have to work around my unemployment meeting - whenever that is. I don’t think that will be a big deal. It made her so happy and it’ll be a nice a trip.


I think tomorrow I’d like to spend some time working out what my goals for April are going to be. I want to keep writing but I have editing to do so I can post that soulmates story (I have about half of it edited I think, or at least close to it) and I am working on that sign language course and I want to make sure I dedicate a good amount of time to that since it’s self guided but I have to have it completed with the majority of the exams passed within 60 days of starting it (I started it the night before last).


But yeah, I think that’s a tomorrow project. Peace y’all.

float_on_alright: (my muse made me)
Title: Thiever of iPods aka Dad
Characters: Darcy Lewis, Phil Coulson, Jane Foster, Erik Selvig
Summary: After all Jane's research is taken, Darcy calls her dad.
Verse: Marvel Movie Universe. / Thor 2011
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Small ones for Thor the Movie and one for my story "Pain in the... Head" as this is a sort of prequel 
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: *I make no money from this and I mean no disrespect or harm. I'm also pretty sure that I am not damaging profits for those who do own the rights in anyway.*


[livejournal.com profile] love_bingo Prompt - Fatherhood


AO3

 Theiver of iPods aka Dad


Darcy has some very choice words for her father. )

float_on_alright: (Myka and HG do epic shit)

For those of my friends who are not members of [livejournal.com profile] furys_avengersI wanted to mention something we're getting involved in. 

In support of Marvel Fans For Safe Schools, we are hosting an auction to help raise money for the GLSEN - the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network which works to end bullying, both physical and emotional, of LGBTQ youth in K-12.

If you'd like to help, you can pledge your skills to the auction. We’re looking for fanfic writers, graphic designers/virtual artists to be a part of this auction.

In a few weeks, we’ll put everyone's skills up for bid and then people can get something made just for them. We do want to make sure all gifts can be sent via the internet so that no extra costs are involved. We really want the funds to go toward GLSEN.

Although this is "Marvel Fans" and we are an Avengers Movie community, we are opening this to ANYONE who wants to be involved working with ANY fandom. You don't have to be a fan of Marvel to believe that no one should be persecuted or made to feel like an outsider.

We’re taking pledges for the auction until April 1st. If you have any questions, please let me or [livejournal.com profile] shanachie_quill know. 

If you'd like to sign up, the link for the sign up page is HERE

Avengers

Nov. 16th, 2011 12:36 am
float_on_alright: (Myka and HG do epic shit)
When I saw the preview for Iron Man, I thought it looked like fun. When I saw Iron Man, I realized it was love. Then came The Incredible Hulk, and I realized just how excited I was about these movies. I'm pretty sure my squeal at Tony's appearance after the credits of The Incredible Hulk was heard several states over. I suppose it was more like scream or a screech than a squeal. 

Okay I'll quit waxing poetic about my love for the Avenger movies and get to the point. [livejournal.com profile] shanachie_quill and I have started a comm for the Avengers' movies and I am excited about it. Frankly, my little nerd heart can barely stand it. 

We launched earlier today and the only thing we need now are members and their posts. Come by and join us if you're interested. 

[livejournal.com profile] furys_avengers

Hopefully, we'll see you there soon :)

Profile

float_on_alright: (Default)
Kate

June 2021

S M T W T F S
  12345
67 89101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 6th, 2025 11:32 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios