float_on_alright | Entries tagged with silly

I don’t think I mentioned earlier, when I said I wanted to read 416 books, I do also mean things like picture books and comics and such as well as actual books. I’ve read a ton of actual books, but I think trying to read 416 full novels in a year would be a hell of a thing. I’m not going to say that such a thing is impossible, no no. But it certainly isn’t something I think could manage myself. I mean maybe, if I didn’t work. Even so I’m not ready to find such a thing out, if I’m honest. I like my job, even when I’m aggravated with it or stressed or anxious. I do absolutely love what I do overall. I definitely don’t want to know what it’s like to be unemployed. That is not thing I want to experience right now.

Anyway, I finished two books today, but I’d already finished one of them when I was writing earlier so I have 15 books/comics/novellas/et cetera to read to go before I reach 416. I have a couple of comics I wanted to catch up on so that will help. I also have a graphic novel I’ve started. When I finish all that I’ll probably be about eight books away still, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I started going through my closet which meant emptying several tubs. I left a lot of it on my bed so to attempt to motivate myself to do more tonight before I go to bed. Enough that I can get into my bed again. I’m not 10000% sure that will happen. But I figure I can always sleep in my sister’s old bed if I need to. And that would mean the sunlight coming through in through the window in the morning would probably wake me up at a more reasonable hour than I might otherwise get up, which would not be a bad thing. I’ll definitely sleep later in my own bed/room than I would in that one. But I would also sleep better in my room/bed than I would in my sister’s. And while it wouldn’t be bad for me to get up at a reasonable hour, I won’t be very productive if I’m not rested. If I really want to get up early, I can also set an alarm.

That said, I still don’t know if I’m going to find the motivation to go work on the stuff in my room enough to clear my bed yet. It’s already midnight and there is a lot of stuff. Granted, the longer I sit here not working on it, the tougher things are going to get. At least I’m feeling pretty awake at the moment. That’s not a great thing in the long run since I really do need to keep a decent sleep schedule so that going back to work isn’t the suckiest thing ever. Of course, I am who I am and the whole night owl thing is not likely to go away any time soon if it hasn’t already. I’m not sure if I wanna sing along to my music or watch another movie or TV show or start another book while I work. I guess I’ll see how I feel when I get up there.

But I really should get to it. Wish me luck--I’m taking my wine and a ton of garbage bags with me.

Current Mood: amused

I’ve been thinking about writing a letter to Santa this year. I know I’m a (sort of) grown-ass adult who doesn’t believe in Santa. I mean… I know Santa isn’t real.

I never believed in Santa. I’m guessing there are other people (who grew up in Christian households) out there who say stuff like that, but I’m not bragging about “being smart” or “putting clues together” or anything like that. My parents just didn’t want me to believe in Santa, or anything “magical” really. My dad supposedly got into a fistfight when he was twelve over the fact that Santa wasn’t real and was pretty traumatized by the whole thing. My mom never talks about learning that Santa wasn’t real, but it seems like maybe that was a pretty traumatic experience as well. Her big thing though, was that she didn’t want me to equate Santa with God.

That may sound weird, but… I was going to say why it wasn’t weird, but it is weird, just maybe not in the way you’d think. My mom is pretty intense about her faith and the bible and all that. She said if she let my sister and I believe in Santa that we may not believe her when she said God was real. There’s a least one comedian I know of who does a stand up bit about that. About kids being like, “psshhhh, Satan’s not real; it’s just dad in a costume like Santa” or something like that. It’s a funny bit, and I like it. He’s not being religious when he does it, he’s just making commentary on the bullshit premise that parents go through elaborate lengths to lie to their children about the existence of Santa all while preaching that honesty is the best policy.

I have a lot of issues with Santa. Like the whole gift versus coal thing and the “naughty and nice” list. See, there’s a difference between a “gift” and a “reward.” A gift is given, not because it’s earned, but because the giver wants to give it. Maybe certain societal standards make people feel like they have to give gifts, but a “gift” by definition isn’t given because someone “earned” it. Being born doesn’t “earn” you a reward, but western culture traditionally likes to celebrate the anniversary of the birth of a loved one by giving them a present. Those are different things! Which means that kids only get something ‘fun’ if they’re on the ‘nice’ list, they’re being rewarded for ‘good behavior.” There is nothing wrong with rewards. Rewards are great ways of motivating and encouraging and celebrating people. But it’s still different to give a gift. Getting “coal” because you were naughty is a punishment based on merit. If someone’s behavior and actions have a direct effect on whether or not they’re getting something, they’re getting a reward (or a punishment or nothing or whatever).

So yeah, I have a lot of weird things about Santa.

But because I grew up in the household I did, I never got to write a Christmas letter to Santa. Maybe it’s dumb to think that I want that experience now, especially at thirty-three years old (well, thirty-years, ten months, and twelve days), but it’s sitting with me. I’m sure it’s all the Hallmark movies I’ve been watching that are making me feel this way. Still, it sounds fun.

The post office lets you send mail to Santa at “the north pole” and if you have a kid, you can send enough postage that the post office will make it look like your letter has gone to the north pole and add with it a letter from you in response to the child’s letter. It’s sneaky is what it is. But I still think it’s kind of wonderful.

I know I’ll never get a response back. I’d just be sending a wish list out into the void, but I sort of like the idea of that too. And maybe that’s what I’m really imagining right now with my desire to send the letter. It’s not about Santa at all, but about me trying to shout into the void of life.

I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Porcelain by Moby

It’s been a really, really nice long weekend for me. I’m so spoiled for days off right now! I had off the 10th, the 13th, 17th—19th, and then I get Thanksgiving and the weekend after! I do have to work Friday, but I think I’ll get 8 hours of vacation to use at another time for working it and I have to say that it is a pretty good deal. I’ve been fairly lazy this weekend, but I think I needed it after being sick. I did do laundry today! Which reminds me, that I need to get my sheets out of the dryer and make my bed… Crap. Ah well, I’ll get there. The nice thing is that I won’t have to get up early tomorrow or Tuesday. I’m working the 11am—8pm shift both nights. Then Wednesday we’re closing at 5pm so it’ll be a normal day for me hours wise, but still.

I just dumped eggnog all down my shirt, booooooo. I love eggnog. There isn’t much about Christmas that I don’t love, to be honest. I don’t love fruitcake. Or Black Friday starting Thanksgiving. But outside of that, I really can’t think of much. Oh! I need to start getting my Christmas playlists downloaded.

On a totally unrelated note, I had a goal for myself this year of number of pages read. If I’m honest, I can’t actually remember what that number was. I know it was at least 50,000 but it could have been 55,000 or 60,000. I’m sure I wrote it down somewhere but as of yet I haven’t been able to figure out where. Which is aggravating as all shit, let me tell you.

Either way, I’ve found myself in a bit of a pickle. Not a normal pickle, mine, not a real pickle, but what I would call an “Only Kate Pickle.” As of about a week ago, I had reached about 45,000 pages read and my goal was going to be to get to 55,000 words by the end of the year. It meant reading about 220 - 230 pages a day between now and the end of the year. Which was just THE PERFECT amount of challenge. It was small enough that I could do it and it was big enough to make me work for it. Exactly the right balance for myself! I’ve got to finish one other book for the Popsugar challenge and then I’ll have completed that too so everything was looking great.

Now I’ve been using Goodreads to track my pages and books read for the year because that’s the easiest thing to do, obviously. However, last night I discovered that for some reason, some of the editions I’d had listed as “read” didn’t have a page count on them. I switched the editions in order to estimate the pages. There are a few comics, mostly Boom! Comics Kindle editions, that don’t have a page count at all, but most of the books that were missing a page count initially have one now.

Changing those pages added about 2,000 pages to my page count. Which means that in order to reach 55,000 I only have read 170 pages a day between now and the end of the year which is too easy. But if I try for 60,000 I would have to read 300 pages a day which is not manageable. I mean, I don’t think I can read that much. I can read a lot but 300 pages would be stretching it. Oh, three days out of the week? Totally. I probably read more than that yesterday, but consistently every day for 38 days? With all the family stuff and adventuring that will be coming up for the holidays I think that kind of amount would be just too much.

I mean, I guess I could go for 58,000 but I don’t like big numbers like that when they aren’t divisible by 5. I know that’s dumb. I really, really do, but it’s my head and I don’t know how to fix that. Plus, I mean, if you’re going to get to 58,000 how can you not try for 60,000? It’s like right there. Ughhhhh. I know this is such a dumb, not real problem, I really do.

If I could find what number I originally settled on I think I’d feel much better about the whole thing. I guess I’ll have to keep looking. If anyone happens to remember what I told myself, it would be super helpful if you could remind me. Argh.

Current Mood: annoyed

I was not even a little bit in the mood to write today. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything today if I’m honest. Well, anything except read. I finally got to the book I’d been wanting to get to in the series and it was everything I’d hoped it would be. *Happy Sigh*

On the other hand, I’ve been feeling a bit miserable. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t written anything new or if I’m feeling like I’ve gotten in over my head with a few of the things I’ve signed up for over the last six months or so (possible since I’ll now have regularly scheduled accountability and mastermind calls possibly for the rest of my life and I honestly don’t know how that happened to me), or maybe because for the first time in months I didn’t have anything immediately pressing and I didn’t know what to do with myself, or if maybe I’m just hormonal (that’s certainly possible too).

I don’t feel like I thought I would feel having finished the Lit Mag Love course though I think it’s largely because I’m afraid of what comes next. Part of the deal was that you would get her help until such a time as you get published in one of the journals you thought would do well for your work. Which means there’s a high probability that one of my stories will, in the next year or so, get published in a journal somewhere. Which, dear God, what was I thinking? I mean, I know what I was thinking. And I know that I do actually want to get published. I know that I do, but the idea of it is terrifying.

And that is probably why I’ve been miserable and wallowing for a large part of today. The idea of successfully getting something I wrote in a journal is terrifying. I mean, I’m likely to be rejected for a while. I’m likely going to need to do a lot more work writing a lot more stories before I get there, but it actually feels like there’s a real chance I could get there. If I'm honest, there’s one journal that I think my story would really be suited for that I sent it to. I had only planned to send my story to just that journal but I don’t have enough other things ready to be able to submit other stories other places.

I know I’ve already talked about the five submissions thing so I won’t get back into that for right now but I guess I just really think that one journal should take my story. Which means I know I’ll be frustrated, sad, and disappointed if they’re not interested. I know I can’t take stuff like that personally. I really, really do. And I know that my writing needs a lot of work so I should just remember that this is part of the learning process but I know there will be a moment when I’ll be hurt. But, I handled it when my Mrs. Claus story got rejected and I’ll handle it when it this one does too. I’m just hopeful that this one is closer to being the kind of story journals will say yes than the last one. And that the next one will be closer. And the rejections will simply be opportunities to make my stories better, nothing more and nothing less.

Granted I was in a decent mood until mom wanted me to leave the house - I mean, I had to put on clothes including a boob prison. I just wore a sports bra which is slightly less aggravating, but I still wasn’t happy about having to “people” today. I just really, really didn’t want to people today. Not that the people we peopled with weren’t lovely. I just didn’t want to do it. I need to make myself a general schedule for the rest of the summer so that I’m productive every day in a way that feels good to me. I was overwhelmed productive the last few days and that didn’t feel good and then today I wasn’t remotely productive. I mean, I washed a few dishes and I listened to that book. I know listening to a fourteen hour book (on a 1.25 setting) in about 23 hours is sort of productive but I know if I don’t work on my projects over the next two and half weeks, I’ll be mad at myself for “wasting” the time. Not to mention that I really do have to have that stuff put together for the DragonCon writing workshop by August first. And actually I’d like to have it done before I go visit my friend Casey the last weekend of this month (good grief, where does the time go?) which is only like 15 days away. That’s two weeks and a tiny bit.

Seriously, where does the time go?

Current Mood: awake

I’ve been staring at my little phone screen playing games for several hours while listening to my book, which after hours on the computer the last few days and a lack of sleep has left them tired and a little sore. I shouldn't have strained them with that tiny screen and all those tiny Mah Jong tiles, ugh.

I am proud of myself though because I think I made it through all the coursework and I definitely did all five of the necessary work applications for the week and I’ve still had time to read. Goodness, it’s nice being off. I know I only have a few weeks left, I’ll be back to work three Monday’s from now, but I intend to thoroughly enjoy the time off I have left. I’d like to spend time at the pool here and do a lot of reading. I hope to write as well. My brain has been in editing mode for the most part for the last week or so and that makes it hard for me to switch to creation mode writing wise. Since I’ve submitted my story to a bunch of places, I really can’t do anything else with it until it comes back to me I created a spreadsheet so I could keep track of where it was submitted. I'd hate to end up submitting it to the same journal by accident or something else similarly sucky.

I have no idea what will happen with it or what I hear back but I’m sure that it will be good experience regardless. Rejection is part of writing and the earlier I learn that the better.

I don’t understand why, almost a week later, I still hear fireworks going off. I mean this is ridiculous. The puppy is barking up a storm over it and I can't even be mad at her. How is she supposed to know that no one is trying to blow up the neighborhood? Plus I’m sure there are a ton of dogs barking out there… yeah, I think I hear one now… so she’ll definitely have to respond to that. Poor thing. And poor mom because I know she’ll have a hell of a hard time sleeping through that.

Anyway, my plan is to write 4000 new words this week so I’ll definitely need to spend some time focusing on being creative. I’ve got a prompt book that I think I might try and I’m also thinking about picking up where I left off in “The Artist’s Way” since I know there are prompts in there as well. If I remember correctly, she recommended reading the book all the way through before starting on the activities so I may stick with the prompt book for now. It’s got 3 prompts per day for 366 days so there should be plenty there.

I can’t decide if I want to go through the prompts methodically or if I want to jump around and try random things. I’m usually a jump around randomly kind of person but I’m thinking of going through them methodically to push myself. Sometimes I skip prompts because they don’t inspire me or what have you, but I think it could be really good for my creative muscles to at least do some free writing with everything in there, to really work to pull out something even if nothing comes to mind initially. Plus it’s a eBook so it would probably be easier to keep track of what I have and have not done if I went in order. I could jump to locations or pages and highlight the things I’ve done but it’s not like I can physically flip through pages and put my finger on a random prompt.

But not tonight. Tonight I am going to listen to more of my book (I finished one and am now onto the next). I’m really anxious to get to the 6th one. I’m really enjoying the 5th one so far (it may be my favorite so far, though that’s hard to say for sure). I had picked up the sixth one and started reading it and I was loving it but then I realized that there was a ton of stuff I’d missed and if I was going to have any hope of really keeping up with the side plots, giant cast of characters, several different pantheons of gods, all the different countries and territories as well as understand the history of the two characters the book focuses on, I was going to need to read the other ones first. The series has been building these two up for the last like four books so I’m glad that I went back. Not to mention that I’ve enjoyed the books so far. All of them have had huge amounts of plot happening like so I think I would’ve gotten lost if I’d tried to just keep going. I mean I read the first two about four or five years ago so I don’t remember them perfectly but I remembered enough to be able to follow the third one well.

Plus, they’re all so funny anyway. There was no point in not reading them when I’m enjoying them so well. I’m not sure why I didn't continue on reading them after I picked up the first two. Though I think at the time the level of violence and gore was just too much for me, for whatever reason. Granted, there's probably more of a difference between 26 - 27 year old me than 31 year old me than I cognitively recognize because I'm still making a lot of the same dumb mistakes and in a lot of the same spirals, but that’s not something I particularly want to examine right this moment. I’ll probably never want to but it’s probably something I should make myself do at least a little of before I go back to work. But again, not tonight. Tonight I’m going to read.

Current Mood: accomplished

So to qualify for unemployment I have to apply for jobs and I just so don’t want to. I’ve been working pretty hard with all my stories and online classes and errands. I slept pretty late today. I suspect I was a little worn out. I’m not particularly a morning person and I’ve been up late and up at an almost reasonable hour the last few days. I’ve been awake by 9:30 - 10am which I know is not “early” but it can be for me. I usually need a 10 - 12 hour night every now and then and last night seems to have been the night. I’m still sleepy today. It might be the rain too. Rain often makes me kind of sleepy.

I’ve been terribly unmotivated today. I’m sleepy and lazy and just terribly uninterested in getting anything done. Don’t feel like writing, don’t feel like applying for jobs. I just want to read books and rewatch the new episodes of Wynonna Earp.

I did two hours at the library today because I had a lot going on this weekend with Father’s Day but since I’m off from work, I might as well make it up. I’ll be able to do next Sunday too but the week after I probably won't be able to do it. And there’s another weekend or two that I’ll have things going on or will be visiting friends out of town. Plus, that’s two hours I can listen to books and ignore people for the most part which was great.

I need to write too. I need to finish this next chapter in my story and figure out where I’m going with the whole thing. I also need to work on my Mrs. Claus story since that’s the only thing I could even begin to use as my story for my Lit Mag Love course.

Further, I need to provide feedback for my fellow workshop people. *Sigh* I feel like I’ve bitten off far more than I can chew and I just realized I missed a live video I wanted to watch. Argh, I hope it stays up long enough for me to get to view it.

I feel like sometimes what you really need is a break. Sometimes you make yourself believe you need a break because you want to procrastinate doing something you don't want to do. I know I don’t want to apply for jobs or write or really do much of anything and now I’m stuck trying to figure out if I really need a break like I kind of feel like I do or if I’m just trying to put off something I'm not keen on doing.

Current Mood: annoyed

Phone Call

Customer: Do you have ______ Elementary's Yearbook?

Meg: I'm sorry, what are you looking for?

Customer: ______ Elementary School yearbook from last year.

I suppose it never hurts to check...

Current Mood: calm

Current Mood: calm

But I like it better on its own.

"Are you an angel?"

Hehehehe, no, no I am not.

Current Mood: silly

But I like it better on its own.

"Are you an angel?"

Hehehehe, no, no I am not.

Current Mood: silly

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(If I have to work):

1. Alarm sounds. I turn it off.

2. Second Alarm sounds - I hit the snooze button.

3. Five minutes later the alarm goes off again so I reset it for ten more minutes.

4. Alarm sounds again and I very resentfully turn on the light beside my bed, but hit the snooze button as I cannot be sure I won't "accidentally " fall back to sleep.

5. Eventually drag self out of bed, and walk into closet where I stare at my clothes without seeing them for an unknown amount of time where I am not convinced I'm conscious.

*Some times this unconscious period of time occurs in the shower rather than the closet, depending on whether or not I showered before bed.

6. Dress, brush teeth, put on deodorant, find something I can eat in the car such as a cereal bar and run out to my car, because I should have left ten to fifteen minutes before and will likely be five to ten minutes late for work.

(If I don't have to work)

1. Check clock to decide if an appropriate amount of time has passed since I went to bed. If it has been less than 10 hours, attempt to go back to sleep.

2. Once I'm officially awake, lay in bed and try to guess what the weather is like even though I cannot see through my very thick/heavy red curtains.

3. Get out of bed, put on slippers.

4. Find cereal bowl.

5. Place self in front of TV and turn on the laptop where I do not move for approximately two hours.

Current Mood: silly

Current Mood: silly

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I don't really have writers block at the moment, this question caught my eye because it has popped into my mind on a number of previous occasions. They'd probably think I was a love lorn teen with her head in the clouds, which may or may not be accurate depending on the day and whether or not someone can be a teen in spirit.

Dear Clinique,

I love the purple bottles, really, but I worry that some night when I'm really tired and I just want my eye make up off before I pass out, I will use the Toner to remove my mascara. I mean I know the caps are different, but I'm just not sure that's enough. Just a thought.

Much Love,

~K

Current Mood: hungry

Current Mood: hungry

I have completely wrapped up in the world of Half Bloods and monsters these last few weeks. And because of that I'm posting this. Just for fun.

(I'm quite possibly a half-blood but probably of a minor god/goddess so I "should" be able to live a mostly normal life)

http://www.rickriordan.com/index.php/books-for-children/enter-camp-half-blood/ten-signs-you-may-be-a-half-blood/

Current Mood: happy

Current Mood: happy

A man comes into the store. He picks up a few things as he's looking around the store. His cell phone rings so he answers it while he continues to browse. He walks up to the front of the store to look at the bargain stuff while he chats on the phone with probably three books in his hands already. Because he's gotten stuff from the displays at the front, like hardback best sellers, he's got tagged books in his hands, meaning that they will set off the alarm. I know this because the alarm goes off when he approaches it. Most people, when they hear the alarm go off either make a run for it or move back (the latter is more common thankfully).

Now, I want to point out that this man is still on his cellphone and that the censors are pretty loud so that the whole store including the back can hear them. I make this point because the man did not move away from the censors. He continued to browse the books right beside the alarms buzzing and flashing, talking on his cell phone. I am with a customer at the computer and I can't just leave but I'm too far away to yell. After what seems like two minutes, he moves away to look at something a little farther off. Thirty seconds later, he's too close again and the alarm is going off again. This time its only for about thirty seconds. I'm taking my next customer to find something and sure enough after another few seconds he is setting off the alarm again! The cell phone, as far as I can tell never left his ear.

After another ninety seconds of the alarm, one of my coworkers gets over to him and asks him to move away. I get there just in time to see the absolute look of surprise when she tells the man that he is the reason the alarms keep sounding. At least, that's what I'm assuming he was surprised about, for all I know he could have been surprised she was asking him to move away from the alarms.

Current Mood: sleepy

Current Mood: sleepy

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Kate

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Confessions of Fangirl

Fangirl all the time

Entries tagged with silly

A Break from the Organization

Gifts and Rewards

Reading and Other Dangerous Endeavors

Expectations Vs Reality

Course completion and a lot less stress

Job Applications - The HORROR

It's Elementary

It's Elementary

There's a story behind this question

There's a story behind this question

Writer's Block: Rise and shine

Writer's Block: Rise and shine

Writer's Block: Open book test

Writer's Block: Open book test

Rules of Attraction