Gifts and Rewards
Dec. 8th, 2018 01:39 amI’ve been thinking about writing a letter to Santa this year. I know I’m a (sort of) grown-ass adult who doesn’t believe in Santa. I mean… I know Santa isn’t real.
I never believed in Santa. I’m guessing there are other people (who grew up in Christian households) out there who say stuff like that, but I’m not bragging about “being smart” or “putting clues together” or anything like that. My parents just didn’t want me to believe in Santa, or anything “magical” really. My dad supposedly got into a fistfight when he was twelve over the fact that Santa wasn’t real and was pretty traumatized by the whole thing. My mom never talks about learning that Santa wasn’t real, but it seems like maybe that was a pretty traumatic experience as well. Her big thing though, was that she didn’t want me to equate Santa with God.
That may sound weird, but… I was going to say why it wasn’t weird, but it is weird, just maybe not in the way you’d think. My mom is pretty intense about her faith and the bible and all that. She said if she let my sister and I believe in Santa that we may not believe her when she said God was real. There’s a least one comedian I know of who does a stand up bit about that. About kids being like, “psshhhh, Satan’s not real; it’s just dad in a costume like Santa” or something like that. It’s a funny bit, and I like it. He’s not being religious when he does it, he’s just making commentary on the bullshit premise that parents go through elaborate lengths to lie to their children about the existence of Santa all while preaching that honesty is the best policy.
I have a lot of issues with Santa. Like the whole gift versus coal thing and the “naughty and nice” list. See, there’s a difference between a “gift” and a “reward.” A gift is given, not because it’s earned, but because the giver wants to give it. Maybe certain societal standards make people feel like they have to give gifts, but a “gift” by definition isn’t given because someone “earned” it. Being born doesn’t “earn” you a reward, but western culture traditionally likes to celebrate the anniversary of the birth of a loved one by giving them a present. Those are different things! Which means that kids only get something ‘fun’ if they’re on the ‘nice’ list, they’re being rewarded for ‘good behavior.” There is nothing wrong with rewards. Rewards are great ways of motivating and encouraging and celebrating people. But it’s still different to give a gift. Getting “coal” because you were naughty is a punishment based on merit. If someone’s behavior and actions have a direct effect on whether or not they’re getting something, they’re getting a reward (or a punishment or nothing or whatever).
So yeah, I have a lot of weird things about Santa.
But because I grew up in the household I did, I never got to write a Christmas letter to Santa. Maybe it’s dumb to think that I want that experience now, especially at thirty-three years old (well, thirty-years, ten months, and twelve days), but it’s sitting with me. I’m sure it’s all the Hallmark movies I’ve been watching that are making me feel this way. Still, it sounds fun.
The post office lets you send mail to Santa at “the north pole” and if you have a kid, you can send enough postage that the post office will make it look like your letter has gone to the north pole and add with it a letter from you in response to the child’s letter. It’s sneaky is what it is. But I still think it’s kind of wonderful.
I know I’ll never get a response back. I’d just be sending a wish list out into the void, but I sort of like the idea of that too. And maybe that’s what I’m really imagining right now with my desire to send the letter. It’s not about Santa at all, but about me trying to shout into the void of life.
I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.
Reading and Other Dangerous Endeavors
Nov. 19th, 2017 11:00 pmExpectations Vs Reality
Jul. 12th, 2017 03:06 amCourse completion and a lot less stress
Jul. 10th, 2017 10:32 pmJob Applications - The HORROR
Jun. 20th, 2017 10:24 pmSo to qualify for unemployment I have to apply for jobs and I just so don’t want to. I’ve been working pretty hard with all my stories and online classes and errands. I slept pretty late today. I suspect I was a little worn out. I’m not particularly a morning person and I’ve been up late and up at an almost reasonable hour the last few days. I’ve been awake by 9:30 - 10am which I know is not “early” but it can be for me. I usually need a 10 - 12 hour night every now and then and last night seems to have been the night. I’m still sleepy today. It might be the rain too. Rain often makes me kind of sleepy.
Writer's Block: Rise and shine
Jan. 9th, 2011 03:31 am(If I have to work):
1. Alarm sounds. I turn it off.
2. Second Alarm sounds - I hit the snooze button.
3. Five minutes later the alarm goes off again so I reset it for ten more minutes.
4. Alarm sounds again and I very resentfully turn on the light beside my bed, but hit the snooze button as I cannot be sure I won't "accidentally " fall back to sleep.
5. Eventually drag self out of bed, and walk into closet where I stare at my clothes without seeing them for an unknown amount of time where I am not convinced I'm conscious.
*Some times this unconscious period of time occurs in the shower rather than the closet, depending on whether or not I showered before bed.
6. Dress, brush teeth, put on deodorant, find something I can eat in the car such as a cereal bar and run out to my car, because I should have left ten to fifteen minutes before and will likely be five to ten minutes late for work.
(If I don't have to work)
1. Check clock to decide if an appropriate amount of time has passed since I went to bed. If it has been less than 10 hours, attempt to go back to sleep.
2. Once I'm officially awake, lay in bed and try to guess what the weather is like even though I cannot see through my very thick/heavy red curtains.
3. Get out of bed, put on slippers.
4. Find cereal bowl.
5. Place self in front of TV and turn on the laptop where I do not move for approximately two hours.
Writer's Block: Rise and shine
Jan. 9th, 2011 03:31 am(If I have to work):
1. Alarm sounds. I turn it off.
2. Second Alarm sounds - I hit the snooze button.
3. Five minutes later the alarm goes off again so I reset it for ten more minutes.
4. Alarm sounds again and I very resentfully turn on the light beside my bed, but hit the snooze button as I cannot be sure I won't "accidentally " fall back to sleep.
5. Eventually drag self out of bed, and walk into closet where I stare at my clothes without seeing them for an unknown amount of time where I am not convinced I'm conscious.
*Some times this unconscious period of time occurs in the shower rather than the closet, depending on whether or not I showered before bed.
6. Dress, brush teeth, put on deodorant, find something I can eat in the car such as a cereal bar and run out to my car, because I should have left ten to fifteen minutes before and will likely be five to ten minutes late for work.
(If I don't have to work)
1. Check clock to decide if an appropriate amount of time has passed since I went to bed. If it has been less than 10 hours, attempt to go back to sleep.
2. Once I'm officially awake, lay in bed and try to guess what the weather is like even though I cannot see through my very thick/heavy red curtains.
3. Get out of bed, put on slippers.
4. Find cereal bowl.
5. Place self in front of TV and turn on the laptop where I do not move for approximately two hours.
Writer's Block: Open book test
Oct. 6th, 2010 12:24 pmI don't really have writers block at the moment, this question caught my eye because it has popped into my mind on a number of previous occasions. They'd probably think I was a love lorn teen with her head in the clouds, which may or may not be accurate depending on the day and whether or not someone can be a teen in spirit.
Writer's Block: Open book test
Oct. 6th, 2010 12:24 pmI don't really have writers block at the moment, this question caught my eye because it has popped into my mind on a number of previous occasions. They'd probably think I was a love lorn teen with her head in the clouds, which may or may not be accurate depending on the day and whether or not someone can be a teen in spirit.
Rules of Attraction
Apr. 17th, 2010 01:37 amI love the purple bottles, really, but I worry that some night when I'm really tired and I just want my eye make up off before I pass out, I will use the Toner to remove my mascara. I mean I know the caps are different, but I'm just not sure that's enough. Just a thought.
Much Love,
~K
Rules of Attraction
Apr. 17th, 2010 01:37 amI love the purple bottles, really, but I worry that some night when I'm really tired and I just want my eye make up off before I pass out, I will use the Toner to remove my mascara. I mean I know the caps are different, but I'm just not sure that's enough. Just a thought.
Much Love,
~K
The Last Olympian
Mar. 4th, 2010 02:02 am(I'm quite possibly a half-blood but probably of a minor god/goddess so I "should" be able to live a mostly normal life)
http://www.rickriordan.com/index.php/books-for-children/enter-camp-half-blood/ten-signs-you-may-be-a-half-blood/
The Last Olympian
Mar. 4th, 2010 02:02 am(I'm quite possibly a half-blood but probably of a minor god/goddess so I "should" be able to live a mostly normal life)
http://www.rickriordan.com/index.php/books-for-children/enter-camp-half-blood/ten-signs-you-may-be-a-half-blood/
Elephants Can't Dance
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:43 amNow, I want to point out that this man is still on his cellphone and that the censors are pretty loud so that the whole store including the back can hear them. I make this point because the man did not move away from the censors. He continued to browse the books right beside the alarms buzzing and flashing, talking on his cell phone. I am with a customer at the computer and I can't just leave but I'm too far away to yell. After what seems like two minutes, he moves away to look at something a little farther off. Thirty seconds later, he's too close again and the alarm is going off again. This time its only for about thirty seconds. I'm taking my next customer to find something and sure enough after another few seconds he is setting off the alarm again! The cell phone, as far as I can tell never left his ear.
After another ninety seconds of the alarm, one of my coworkers gets over to him and asks him to move away. I get there just in time to see the absolute look of surprise when she tells the man that he is the reason the alarms keep sounding. At least, that's what I'm assuming he was surprised about, for all I know he could have been surprised she was asking him to move away from the alarms.
Elephants Can't Dance
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:43 amNow, I want to point out that this man is still on his cellphone and that the censors are pretty loud so that the whole store including the back can hear them. I make this point because the man did not move away from the censors. He continued to browse the books right beside the alarms buzzing and flashing, talking on his cell phone. I am with a customer at the computer and I can't just leave but I'm too far away to yell. After what seems like two minutes, he moves away to look at something a little farther off. Thirty seconds later, he's too close again and the alarm is going off again. This time its only for about thirty seconds. I'm taking my next customer to find something and sure enough after another few seconds he is setting off the alarm again! The cell phone, as far as I can tell never left his ear.
After another ninety seconds of the alarm, one of my coworkers gets over to him and asks him to move away. I get there just in time to see the absolute look of surprise when she tells the man that he is the reason the alarms keep sounding. At least, that's what I'm assuming he was surprised about, for all I know he could have been surprised she was asking him to move away from the alarms.