float_on_alright: (dies from epic overdose)

One thing you’re looking forward to:


Just one thing?? But there are so many!! I’m looking forward to being a part of the Charlotte History Museum family day, and my library’s 25th anniversary, and dinner tomorrow with Maria, and possibly getting to water aerobics sometime this week, and the Narggle 9K I’ve signed up to do, and just so.many.things.


If I have to pick just one thing that I’m looking forward to, I’d have to say, I’m looking forward to going to California and seeing Ju’Leia most of all. I haven’t ever been out that far west and I’m so excited to get to see the Pacific Ocean which I’ve never seen. I’ve seen the sun set on the Atlantic Ocean when we were in Cornwall (the Southwest coast of England) and on the Gulf of Mexico in Florida, but I know this is going to be a whole other thing. She lives just outside of LA and I just can’t wait to do all the things. I’m debating how I’m going to pack and what I’m going to take and about a million other things, but I’m just so excited. I haven’t seen her since September when she was visiting out here so I’m super excited about that too. And we’re planning to do some touristy things and stuff our faces with awesome food and my level of “cannot wait” is getting out of hand.


float_on_alright: oh haaaa (oh haaaa)

The night of your 21st birthday:


I don’t remember my 21st birthday very well, but it isn’t really because I drank so heavily that night I blacked out. It’s just been 11 years and it was honestly not a big night. A lot of my friends were still 20 as my birthday is in the middle of the kids in my year of college. Sure, I had a handful of friends who had birthdays in October or November who were already 21, but most of my friends’ birthdays were later in the year. Granted, Tiffany G. and I had birthdays in the same month and I think Aaron (who I was dating at the time) did as well. And I think we had been waiting to all go out together.


If I’m not mistaken, my birthday was on a Thursday, which while that is technically college night, I think we decided to wait for the actual weekend to do much of anything. We did have a small thing in our apartment (there were four of us that lived there and my boyfriend spent a shit ton of time there too) and drank to my birthday--mostly a few shots (most likely vodka as that was my drink of choice) that night. I did my best not to have Friday classes, typically speaking, but I may have had work or my friends may have had Friday morning classes. I wish I could remember exactly the reasoning that I didn’t go out, but I guess at the time it was the logical thing to do. And, thinking about it now, it probably WAS the logical thing to do even though that wasn’t a thing I could often say about myself at the time.


I’m fairly certain we went out that weekend. That might have been the first time we went to Rum Runners because we couldn’t get in before that and they had a really fun show there. They had these cheap boozy pitchers that tasted great and had us falling down drunk in no time at all. We always had a DD or a cab for that place because it was not the kind of place that you could go in and just have a “a drink or two” and still drive home. I suppose, technically, they probably did have normal drinks and thinking back, it seems like the dudes usually did order a beer or whatever, but for me and my friends? We were ordering pitchers. I think they were less than $10 and they were nearly the same size as those sweet tea pitchers waitresses use at restaurants to refill people’s cups. Ass ton of ice, I’ll grant you, but as a college junior that was a good deal.


So yeah, comparatively speaking, I had a pretty quiet 21st birthday.

float_on_alright: kate bishop with her head on a desk in exasperation (asdf)

The word/phrase you use constantly:


There are a lot of things I say all the time, some I probably don’t even realize I’m doing, but I’ll list a few I know are a regular part of my vocabulary.


Perfect.

For real though.

Fair enough.

Right?

Thanks yo.

How’s it going?

You doing okay today?


float_on_alright: (officer haught)

What I wore today:


Well, today was a day off which is usually a day that I don’t get out of my pajamas, but today I did get out of my pajamas! Dad and I went to the Monroe Aquatic Center today. I wasn’t sure if two piece bathing suits would be okay so I just decided to use the other facilities today. I re-launched my Couch to 5K program. I think I’m in slightly less bad shape than I was when I started it last time because I do walk around some for my job. Since we went to work out, I changed out of my shirt and sweatpants and into workout shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top. I have one of those wicking racerback tanks. It’s blue with a couple of silver, reflecting looking lines. My tennis shoes are mostly bright pink which is fun and I like them a lot. When I got home, I changed into a yellow t-shirt because the tank was a little too cool once I wasn’t exercising. I also wore my blue hoodie that has “Don't Insult My OTP or I'll Do Something That Allows Me To See A Thestral” on the back.


float_on_alright: (liberated a sword)

Things you’d say to an ex:


I dunno. It depends on the ex? The first I would avoid at all costs and not speak to, but I did tell him everything I needed to say and I did eventually get a letter from him apologizing for the way he treated me (his wife had a baby girl about three years after he and I broke up and no, he wasn’t married when I dated him) which gave me closure I never expected to have.


The second I’d be happy to engage in some small talk before moving on like we did the last time we saw each other at our mutual friends’ wedding. His wife isn’t fond of me, but he used to have a history of sleeping with his exes while dating his currents (part of the reason he and I broke up) so I don’t really blame her. I think he’s honestly changed. It seemed like he really loved her when I saw them together and I’m hopeful that their marriage will be a long and happy one. I had been angry about his cheating at one point, but once I didn’t really love him anymore, the cheating and the history didn’t really bother me anymore.


The most recent one? I’ve said my piece to him. He wanted to be chummy and I told him I wasn’t going to be friends with him. He spent a lot of time lying by omission and saying the truth in such a way that it conveyed something different and it happened far too often for it to be accidental all the time (miscommunications and misunderstandings do happen!) Yeah, I just really don’t have anything else to say to him. I always felt edgy and untrustful about that relationship and I believe I was justified in that.  


So I don’t really have anything I particularly want or need to say to any of my exes.

float_on_alright: clint doesn't want spoilers (clint doesn't like spoilers)
Four weird traits I have:

Oh this should be fun. 

First thing is that I am a “texture eater.” Yes, taste is very important to me, but if the texture is weird or gross, I’m not eating it. Things like mashed potatoes and bananas make me gag. I don’t mean that figuratively. The last time I tried to eat baked beans, I threw up after a few bites. I’ve never been able to even swallow mashed potatoes. 

I have a song stuck in my head about 94% of my waking hours. I catch myself humming A LOT. Sometimes I catch myself sort of dancing to said song as I hum it too. I don’t always realize I’m doing it initially--especially if I’m in a good mood. 

I hate live recordings. Don’t get me wrong, I love going to the occasional concert, but unless I’m at the concert I don’t want to hear people clapping, screaming, or singing while I’m trying to listen to a song. It hurts my eardrums and grinds on my nerves. 

While all the other last knuckle joints on my fingers bend a bit boths ways (forwards and back), my ring fingers only bend in for grasping. Granted, I’m assuming this is a weird trait, I don’t actually know that’s the case for sure. It is part of the reason why once my nails get beyond a certain length typing becomes difficult. While most of my joints bend a little “out” and can adjust to compensate for the extra length of the nail, my “ring” finger on each hand can’t. I actually sort of curl them in and hit the keys with the outside of my nail when I have to use those fingers for keys on the bottom row of the keyboard, rather than the pad of my fingers like I do for my index and middle fingers. Again, maybe most people’s hands are that way. I can’t say for sure. It just always seems weird to me that those two fingers don’t follow the pattern of the other 8. 

So bonus: I celebrate my half birthday by buying myself a present. 


Also, does anyone else have moments where they think about how the moment that you’re in will soon be a memory and then a few weeks or months or whatever think about the memory of you thinking about the moment when the moment would be the memory it now is? Like today on my way to work I was thinking about how I don’t know what the day will bring but that soon the day would be a memory for future me, including the me that is now, and the me who will be on a plane in a few weeks, and the me that will also have my memories of California (Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, of course). And then when I’m on my way home from California I’ll think about this moment writing this and the moment I had in the car this morning. Or is that just me?
 
float_on_alright: That's not the right wine (not the right wine)

Something you miss:


I miss working with Emily even though I don’t miss my job at Scholastic.


I miss dinner and a sleepover on Wednesdays with Ju’Leia.


I miss do miss commission checks from Scholastic, though I don’t think that job paid me enough for the stress, anxiety, and frustration it caused me.


I miss AIM. I’m sure I’ll find a replacement eventually, but dude, I had a lot of fun chatting live with friends and sharing stories.


I miss going to Purgatory parties.

float_on_alright: time for wine (time for wine)

(Dealer’s Choice)



A family member you dislike or your dream job


I don’t have a whole lot of family, not genetic family anyway. And half of what I do have, I don’t really know. I haven’t seen any of my mom’s half sister’s children (on her mother’s side) since I was about 16. I’ve seen my aunt a couple of times since then and I like her. Her and my mom had issues in the past, but they’re doing pretty good now. My mom’s half brother (on her mother’s side) died a few years ago and I haven't seen his kid since I was seven at my grandmother’s funeral (my mom’s mom). My mom’s dad died before I was born and while he went on to remarry and have kids, I haven’t seen any of them since I was in elementary school (my mom is still bitter about her dad essentially abandoning her when her folks got divorced the second time), but I don’t really have any hang ups about that because I never knew the man. My mom’s cousin Don (I call him Uncle Greg… long story) is amazing and his daughter is wonderful and she had my sister and I be her flower girls. I haven’t seen her or her boys in seven years, but her family is great.


At this point, all of my grandparents are dead. For a while, I struggled with my father’s dad, because they had such a tumultuous, difficult relationship, but now that he’s dead, I really can’t get worked up about that. And he did do some truly wonderful things for our family (like buy us our very first family computer when I was about seven or eight because dad said my sister’s teacher told him it would be good for our education). My uncles and aunts on my dad’s side are amazing. I get on great with all my cousins on that side.


As for my immediate family, there are some things they believe that I hate and some things they do that I dislike, but honestly I love them all and I don’t dislike them either.


Now if we’re talking “family,” like the people at my fellowship that I grew up with, there are a couple of people there who I struggle with. But to say I dislike them still feels like too strong a word. It’s more like, I wouldn’t choose to hang out with them outside of any fellowship functions I go to.

float_on_alright: (Default)


Your morning routine:


My morning… what? I don’t… have a morning anything. I get out of bed a different times depending on what day of the week it is. Tuesdays I work late so I sleep in. I sleep in on the weekends I don’t work and get up earlier on Saturday than Sunday because I usually need a shower that morning after having Friday off (I always have Friday off if I’m working the weekend). Every third Friday I do work but since I don’t work every Friday, no two Fridays are usually alike. Sometimes I shower and sometimes I just clean up and brush my teeth. The rest of my morning if I’m working means grabbing a yogurt, a cereal bar, a lunch, and some caffeine to take to work to eat later. I then drive to work. If I’m not working, I’m probably sleeping. I rarely get up before 11am. I don’t even do things in the same order. Like let’s say it’s a morning when I’m going to shower. The first thing I may do is get the water going and then brush my teeth. Other times I may start the water, pee, shower, and then brush my teeth when I’m out. Sometimes I like to listen to music, sometimes I like to listen to an audiobook, and sometimes I just want quiet.


The only consistent thing about my mornings is that I really don’t want to answer questions when I’ve just woken up.


Maybe my morning routine should probably be described as morning chaos.

float_on_alright: (and this is where we run)

Your zodiac/horoscope and whether it fits you:


It depends on whether you mean the Western Zodiacs or the Chinese Zodiacs, though I’m of the opinion that most of these are generic enough that you can relate to them in some form or fashion.


I do think I’m a fairly typical Aquarian. They’re described as being big on ideas but not on details, loving new things and adventures, caring about the world, and sometimes coming off flakey or cold because their attention is elsewhere. I don’t think I’ve ever come off as “cold” or (as I’ve seen a lot in descriptions) “aloof” but I am a bit flakey and with a tendency to do better with big picture thinking than small details.


I’m an Ox by Chinese horoscope standards if you go by the Chinese New Year which if you read the description is almost the opposite of an Aquarian: steady, responsible, uninterested in change. I think I’m a little that way too sometimes. I think most people are. It’s one of those things where most of the stuff they talk about is generic enough that you can find yourself in almost anything.


When you look at the Aquarian Ox description though, the first word is “they tend to be shy” and I don’t think that word has ever, in my entire life, been applied to me. Sure, I have social anxiety and I often feel awkward as hell, but never, have I ever, found that I don’t talk to people. I’m all about talking to people and I have to, typically, wall myself off from them in order to stop talking to them. Yeah, not shy. One of the other traits however, is that the combination tempers the dislike of change with the love of variety from the Aquarian into someone who is more balanced. It also, according to the websites I’ve seen, create a lot of patience in a person and patience is something I typically have in droves. My patience is what got me the job I love.


So yeah, like most people, I can find myself in my zodiac descriptions even if they’re not 100% accurate.

float_on_alright: (my hearing works fine)

Put your music player on shuffle and write the first three songs that play and what your initial thought is.


I put my favorite playlist on shuffle because I wanted songs that I actually listen to and am familiar with. I have Apple Music and I have a few of their curated playlists downloaded on my phone to help me find new music, but I don’t want to run into any songs I don’t actually know yet. I don’t tend to have much in reaction to new music besides, “hmm”, “oh I think I might like this,” and “Dear God make it stopppppppp” and I feel like that doesn’t really work with the challenge in the way I think it’s meant to be used. I hope that makes sense. I’ve got a bit of a headache, so I’m not sure that I am really making sense.


  1. Secrets by Mary Lambert: I want this to be my battle song. I’m working on it. I’m getting there. This song is all about being who you are, faults and flaws and all in the face of a world that wants to shame you and it’s just so amazing. I try to be a little more in line with the “I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are” badassery every day.

  2. Feel it Still by Portugal: The Man: I originally thought this was sung by a girl, but that’s neither here nor there. I love the feel of this song. It’s catchy and sort of soothing for me in its beat and overall sound pattern. I don’t think too much about it other than to enjoy it. The only things that do come to mind are some photos that a couple of friends sent me when they saw the performer live. They were… weird… I don’t feel comfortable sharing her photos, but one of them looked like the background on stage was a picture of a woman in a black latex suit riding a giant banana. So yeah. That’s most of what happens in my brain.

  3. I Feel Alright by Bonzai: This song is just so pleasant and I feel so pleasant when I listen to it. It’s a song I tend to listen to on repeat because it just makes me feel… alright. I like the feel of it and I’m pretty happy with the whole thing.


I find it interesting that a lot of how I think about music seems to be less about what my “thoughts” are and more about what my “feelings” are. I don’t think it’s uncommon for me to be more interested in the sensation a song gives me than the thoughts a song gives me. I’ve never thought too much about how other people experience music, though I’ve always assumed that a lot of people have similar reactions since movie/tv show soundtracks and sound effects are so important to the tone/emotion of a scene. One thing I have often thought about, is how the movies would feel without the sound. I often wonder how people who are deaf might have different experiences when watching some things because the music and sounds are so much part of the tension--especially in horror movies. I mean, I can’t imagine “creepy sounds” or “intense music” being indicated in the closed captioning have the same effect as “Daaah-duum… daah-duum, dah-dum, dahdum” in Jaws. Or the “chi chi chi, hah, hah, hah” of whichever serial killer movie that is (sorry can’t remember at the moment.


Anyway, I just think it’s interesting that music is such a physical and emotional experience for me, rather than an intellectual one.

float_on_alright: (can't giggle at crime scenes)

Five Fears You Have


  1. Never getting my shit together/adulting enough to own my own home.

  2. Either never getting to be fully out or losing my family because I am fully out.

  3. Spiders.

  4. Heights.

  5. Serial killers who want to torture me first.

float_on_alright: (Default)

Favorite Color and Why:


My favorite color is violet, not question. I’m fond of all purples, especially the ones that lean towards blue.


To say why seems really difficult. I do find the color soothing and it’s appealing to me in general. I love that it’s been the color that represents royalty in some cultures and friendship in others. I don’t know how else to describe why I love it so much. I’m curious if anyone really does know why they feel strongly towards any particular color.


float_on_alright: (happy fucking new year)

A quote I try to live my life by:


I think there are actually a few quotes/ideals I try to live by.


There are a few versions of the first. One is “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” which I believe is from a Samuel Beckett novella. There’s a version of it that floats around tech and startup companies that goes something like, “Fail fast, fail often, fail forward.” I think I’ve heard Will Smith talk about that too. Just generally I remind myself that I need to push myself to do new things and that waiting until “I’m ready” to do something will likely result in me never doing it.


The other big one is And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends.” which comes from “The Ship of the Dead” which is the third in the Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series by Rick Riordan. It’s said by one of my all time favorite characters, Alex Fierro who is just so freaking wonderful and terrifying and brave and vulnerable and just… Look, if you haven’t read the books, I recommend them. Uncle Rick did good (I’m sure not perfect, but definitely good).


Most of my life can probably be summed up with, “When in doubt, go to the library.” I love this quote because it’s actually Ron who says it. Everyone credits Hermione but it’s actually Ron, describing Hermione’s way of thinking in the course of things happening in Chamber of Secrets, which I think was the moment I started shipping the two of them, though honestly I started shipping them before I understood what shipping was so it’s hard to say exactly when that happened.


And no list of mine would be complete without one last reminder (also from Harry Potter), “Don't let the Muggles get you down." I figure that one probably speaks for itself.

float_on_alright: (Default)
 

Bullet Your Day (I couldn’t decide if they meant a typical day or today so I went with today):


  • Dragged myself out of bed confused about why I had to get up because for some reason I thought I didn’t need to get up yet. I did.

  • Put the dog out with food and water.

  • Grabbed food for the day and made a water bottle with Mio Energy (my fave flavor too--strawberry pineapple smash).

  • Took a shower, brushed my teeth, put gel in my hair.

  • Got dressed.

  • Drove to work in a hurry.

  • Put my stuff away once I got there.

  • Worked? I mean I spent an hour going through my email, a couple of hours on the desk, an hour in the meeting, another hour attempting to focus before going to lunch and then spend another hour working at the desk helping customers.

  • Drove home.

  • Watched some TV with mom while chatting with some friends.

  • Brushed teeth, got in bed.

  • Listened to my book (The Undoing Shelly Laurenston) until I decided to go to sleep.


float_on_alright: (sort of)

Pet Peeves:


  1. When people pronounce library like lie-berry. *Shudder* or documentary as doc-u-man-terry.

  2. The use of “irregardless” as a word.

  3. Customers who don’t start to leave a store or building or whatever until after they’ve been told the place is closed.

  4. Men who say “you females” or use “female” the way that other people might “women.”

  5. When people make that noise that happens when they suck air through their teeth.

float_on_alright: (wonder woman)

My commute to and from work:


My commute is so much better than it used to be. I go into work at 8:30 now and so I typically end up taking about 35-40 minutes to get to work (30 if the roads are clear and I drive like the proverbial bat out of hell). It used to take me at least an hour (maybe more on a shit day) to get to work, so that is actually a major improvement. The nice thing about having a commute more than a few minutes though, is that I often get to use the time to listen to a book and enjoy my own company. My ride home is still a little closer to an hour typically and I tend to use the time to call my dad. Some days we talk for five minutes and I’ll read after or do a nice sing along for myself. As long as the traffic is moving without a lot of stopping, I find driving rather soothing. It’s nice that I can just be by myself for a bit, listening to my books or singing. I do love singing in my car. Sometimes I listen to classical music in the morning because it’s a peaceful way to start the day.


float_on_alright: (seven days without a pun make one weak)

2 words/phrases that make you laugh:


Hmm, I don’t know. I can’t think of any two words or phrases that make me laugh. I mean, lots of words or phrases would crack me up in the proper context but all by themselves? Granted the word “moist” and “ointment” are sort of funny. Things that sound dirty like, “wow, that’s a big sausage” or “motorboat,” yeah, those make me giggle. Anything that would tempt someone to say “that’s what she said” is probably going to make me giggle. Yeah, my sense of humor is very similar to a fourteen year old boy. It’s that and dad jokes that I love.


Current favorites include:


“Orion is a waist of space.” - “Terrible joke. Three stars.”


“What did the buffalo say to his college-bound son?” “Bison!”


I watch the shit out of those dad joke videos where they compete to see who can make the other one laugh with the ridiculousness.

float_on_alright: procrastination is hard work (procrastination is hard work)

Your current relationship; if single discuss that:


I’ve enjoyed my single status for a while now. I am thinking about getting back into dating, but dating was a lot of work in the past and I’m not sure I’m ready to face the horrors that have come with it in the past. And there have been some serious horrors in the past. Sure there were some fun moments, but I mostly remember a lot of awkwardness and pain and being creeped out on a regular basis. I think it would be nice, at some point, to have a partner for life and I do hope to get there one day. I’m just not sure I’m ready to commit to that search yet.

float_on_alright: (i am responding in a calm and rationale)
 Y’all, I am way too tired for this.

A fruit I dislike and why:

I intensely dislike bananas. I’m not overly fond of their test as I find it odd, but the texture makes me gag so I can’t even try to get past the taste. 

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float_on_alright: (Default)
Kate

June 2021

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