If they were easy, they'd call them something else.

[float_on_alright]

She texted me! And she said I didn’t mess up my number after all, the call must have just not gone through which makes me feel a little better.

 

God, I’m so distracted over this! It’s impossible to get anything done because all I keep thinking about is our conversations or her smile (Dear.God.Her.Smile.) or when I might see her again or whatever. I know she’s going through a lot right now and the last thing she really needs is my ridiculous ass being obnoxious about my crush on her.

 

It’s odd, though. There is part of me that’s just happy to feel this way again. I hadn’t really felt this way about anyone in a while. I mean I’d had a few fluffy crushes… okay more than a few, but this is the most intensely I’ve felt about anyone since things went to shit with me and Austin in March of 2013. Five years. I’m not kidding. It’s been five years since I’ve felt like this. And I’ve just been so happy the last couple of days (minus being annoyed with myself when I thought I’d given her the wrong number).

 

Actually, even the downs of the crush feel good right now. It’s like there’s a muscle I’m using that I haven’t used in years and it’s stiff and it sort of hurts but it also feels really, really good.

 

It’s a little like being awake again after a really long sleep. I don’t know what’s coming and it could be that nothing at all will come of this, but I’m glad to feel it. And I’m glad to put myself out there.

 

At least at the moment. I might be singing an entirely different tune in a few weeks.