Drugggggssss

[float_on_alright]

I’m crashing now from the drugs. I know it’s just a steroid. It’s a super normal thing that people get prescribed all the time. Lots of people end up hungrier and thirstier. Often people have some stomach upset. These are all normal reactions. I have them too.

My friend’s son gets a little wound up—the doctor said that when he’s on stuff like this he’s more likely to be ornery. My friend describes it as “showing his ass,” which is just the best kind of description in my opinion. Not that that’s the point I guess, but it is a fun expression. I love expressions and idioms and etymology. Just… all of it. Just our whole practice of finding ways to communicate and describe things is amazing to me. Sometimes humans event awful things or use our creativity for evil, but our capacity for invention, communication, and creation is truly one of the most amazing—if also terrifying—things in the world. It probably seems silly to compare the history of our language and the creation of dumb sayings like, “shows his ass” or “Lord willing and the creek don’t rise” to advancements in health, science, exploration, or engineering, but it truly amazes me how capable we are.

Humans are extraordinary. I just wish we had less propensity for using our creativity to destroy each other. Just in general. But I think that’s the trade you make. It sucks, but all I can do is treat people with kindness and respect.

At any rate, steroids do weird things to me. It’s a little like being high. It isn’t exactly that. I’ve been high on weed and shrooms and opioid drugs when I was in the hospital once so I know what those things feel like, and the steroid definitely doens’t quite do that. But it does make me more likely to be weird and wired in a more extreme way than I usually would. I told my friend Jonathan that I very much wanted to skip at some point during the day but that I was working very hard not to skip. He was baffled at first because my foot is back in my boot (at least during things like work, etc.) and was like, “don’t fucking do that!” It was only a little while later that he realized that it was the drugs making me feel that way.

That’s the other frustrating thing about the injury combined with the drugs. The drugs have the effect on me that you would expect three surge soda’s to have on a toddler. I cannot sit still, I fidget to no end. It’s nearly debilitating how hyper it makes me, and it absolutely does make it harder for me to focus.

It can’t be helped for now though. I should probably look to see—

I did that thing again where I start typing things in relation to whatever dream like thing is happening in my head when I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open while I type. Suckage.