March 14th, mid-day

I haven't been consistent with the morning posts but I'm glad I'm getting good with the evening ones. I'm wondering what kind of schedule I would have to set up for myself in order to get better at it. Alternatively, it might good for me to avoid getting online in the mornings all together until I'm starting work because once I start playing on a computer or on my phone I tend to get sucked into a game or lost in a stream social network posts and those are the kinds of things I'm trying to get involved in less. It's going to be an interesting line to walk I think. I may need to consider doing paper journaling in the morning instead of online journaling so that I do stay away from the internet for a little while longer. 

I have several mindfulness exercises that I want to do but I'm not sure when I'll do them. I know that it isn't that I don't have time, it's that I have made the time. I have lots of time, but using it wisely is something that I have done well with in the past and something I want to excel at in future. Any habit that leans towards inaction is likely easier to keep than building habits of action and a proactive lifestyle. I've spent a lot of my life being reactive and have done okay but I think if I could become a more proactive person, I could accomplish the things from my daydreams. Anyway, off to the library to pick up a book. 

Evening March 14th

 
Believe it or not, but I think I finished my soulmate first draft. I can hardly believe it. There is a lot of editing to do of course, but I’m going to let it set for a day or two before I start really digging in. There will likely be a lot of deleting and rewriting obviously but I’m going to give it a few days to rest before I start working on it again. Once I got through it a bit, I’ll be sending it to poor Rebby who is going to have read what is currently over 12,000 words on a pairing that isn’t even one she’s ever seen on screen. Bless her. She’s a good friend. 

In other news, I had started a book about decluttering a while back - “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” or something like that. I’m sure you’ve probably heard of it. As my other book (“White Trash Zombie Gone Wild”) was stressing me, I thought I’d take a break from it and listen to a little more of the decluttering guide while I walked the dog - I immensely enjoy listening to books while I walk the dog. The next bit that I listened to in the 

“Tidying Up” book was instructions on a journaling-like activity that, according to the author, is an absolutely critical part of the process if you want the decluttering to stick. I listened on but right behind that instruction was another activity to do and that made me feel like I really needed to rewind a bit and listen when I could sit down and work on the activities. 

I guess I could listen to the whole book through and then go on about my way, but I feel like there isn’t much point in listening to and reading self-improvement books if you’re not going to do any of the processes they suggest. And maybe nothing will really come out of the activities but I think I will get good things out of it. One of the things she says you need to do before you start a project like this is decide what it is exactly that you want to get out of the process. Really, really visualize it and have it clear in your mind. Then ask yourself why you want what you’ve envisioned. Once you’ve answered write more about why those are things that you came up with until you’ve written down at least a “why” to the “why” to the “why”. As someone who has been floating through with only a vague notion of what I might want for myself, I think this is a really good idea. 

There is a marked difference in my vision for my life - as in I do actually have the start of one - since I read “You Are A Badass” as it’s one of the things stressed in that book as well. Knowing how pointless life starts to feel when you don’t have something specific you’re working towards, a firm goal in mind, I have to say these kinds of processes do seem critical. If you aren’t aiming for anything, you’ll end up doing nothing and, at least for me, that tends to be an empty existence. 

Many of the articles on motivation, creativity, and productivity expound on the benefits of thoroughly digesting and then writing about the books you read. I’ve always been a prolific reader, but I can’t say that beyond a few reviews here and there that I’ve been digging into the information my reading provides. Granted most of the reading I’ve done has been for fun and I certainly intend to continue to read fluff and fun but I’ve been spending more time reading non-fiction lately and the whole point has been to work towards making a better life for myself. I can’t expect to do that by flying through a ton of books. It won’t matter how many books and articles I read if I don’t take the time to not only ingest them but also really digest them. 

I need to make my way towards bed - have make up to take off and leftovers to put in the fridge for now, but I am going to have to do a better job of working on these activities if I want my new found motivation and lack of depression to continue. And sleep is vital too!