Move On Wes (Lethal Weapon FanFic)

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Title: Move On Wes

Characters: Wes Cole

Pairing: Technically none, but I'm Wesley Cole x Erica Malick all the way. Like ALL THE WAY. Intensely. It's. A. Lot. Like excessive. Wes x Erica. Although they call him Cole most of the time. I haven't found a ship name yet. Wesica? Werica? WesCa? WeEr? Cole and Malick... Oh! Cola? Definitely not Colick. Maybe something with her being an ADA?

Summary: Wes is coming to terms with his break up with Natalie.

Fandom: Lethal Weapon (TV)

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Pretty much everything through 3 x 10

Warnings: I can't think of any.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the rights to Lethal Weapon.

Light poured in and warmed Wes’s face. His first thought before becoming fully conscious was to panic that he’d gotten drunk and passed on Erica’s couch for the third time that week. But his head was clear and his stomach wasn’t rolling so he didn’t think he’d gotten wasted last night. Blinking rapidly to clear the sleep fog from his eyes, he recognized Roger’s living room. It didn’t take him long to remember tucking Harper into bed before falling asleep on the couch.

Relief hit him like a crashing wave. He was so tired of letting Erica down. Saving her life once (maybe twice if he counted keeping her safe when the weed-mobile barreled into the ice cream truck) didn’t make up for all the trouble he’d caused her. Since they’d met, he’d been an irresponsible, reckless dick and he didn’t think he could bear destroying her life again.

He was ashamed of how he’d behaved on their first case together. He’d been so wrapped up in Natalie and attempting to get her back that he’d neglected his job and his partner. He’d treated Erica like she was the bad guy when all she’d expected of him was that he do his damned job. He’d been so hell-bent on getting Natalie to choose him over Andrew that he’d nearly destroyed an important case. He hadn’t seen through Eliot's bullshit when he should’ve noticed immediately he was being played. He wondered, too, if Erica would’ve been quicker to notice what was happening if she hadn’t been busy wrangling him and Murtaugh. Erica was smart and savvy and it was ridiculous that she’d had to spend so much time and energy dealing with his shit. It was amazing she hadn’t gunned for him to fired, never mind that she was still had any kind of faith in him.  

Jesus, he’d been an idiot in so many ways.

Wes always knew that he’d come home from that last terrible mission in Syria with the dream of a perfect family and a picket white fence. It hadn’t been fair to Natalie to come crashing back into her life thinking they would just pick up the pieces from thirteen years ago. Natalie warned him that she and Maya couldn’t heal the intangible wounds he’d sustained on his many missions with the CIA, and she wasn’t wrong. Making one “ideal” family with Natalie and Maya wouldn’t have “fixed” him even if Natalie had gotten back with him instead of staying with Andrew.

In the glaring, painful light of day, he knew it was for the best that he and Natalie hadn’t gotten back together. Wes loved Natalie and he always would, but he finally understood that he wasn’t in love with her. Wes was in love with the idea of a family and a home, but just because Natalie was an amazing mother didn’t mean that they would’ve been a good couple.

Wes scrubbed his hands over his face. Natalie would never have been happy with him. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him, but she’d been in love with the idea of the two of them. He suspected that all those years ago she thought she would be the ‘cure’ for the secret agent in him and he’d leave ‘The Life’ to settle down and never have secrets again. But there would always be secrets Wes would have to keep, and he didn’t think he’d ever want to have a totally normal, civilian life. One of them would’ve been miserable, if not both of them.

In the years Wes had been mostly absent from her life, Natalie had figured all that out. She’d made the right choice in Andrew. One day he would thank her for her choice because in choosing Andrew she’d freed Wes to find someone better for himself. Yeah, he had a long way to go, but committing to LA, to his new career, and to Maya and being present as her father--those things had led him on a path to healing he never could’ve expected. Maya was his family and the Murtaughs were fast becoming his family as well. He’d share that with someone soon. Suddenly, he was feeling strangely hopeful about that.  

And he should probably send Erica a bouqet or something nice… as an apology for everything he’d put her through.