Writing Woes

[float_on_alright]

Every time I go to write lately, I just feel so blank. Like, nothing. It’s not that I feel bad, though often enough I feel tired. It’s like a go looking for words or stories and it just doesn’t feel like there’s anything there. Even though a couple of weeks ago I felt like I had three thousand plot bunnies, there’s just nothing there right now. At least that’s how it feels. I’ll look at the page and immediately think of something I need to check on or do or I’ll just start browsing social media or my phone, or Pokemon Go or check my texts, or look through my pictures to find something funny to send my friend Emily. It’s chronic and it’s been constant for the last few weeks. Even prompts and music and all the normal go to writer’s block things aren’t helping. I have a ton of books and games and photos and prompts and websites and cards and topics and die and just… nothing.

I’m not sure why that is. I know part of it has been exhaustion. I’ve been so tired, so much more tired than usual. I’m not sure if this is all still from the foot thing or what. I know yesterday a lot of my tiredness was from staying up too late and then getting up too early. I’m going to be in a similar boat tomorrow, but it won’t be as bad because the day won’t start as early and I don’t have any major plans. Saturday involved doing exercises in the pool, spending several hours walking around the Renaissance Festival, and having a family evening at my sister’s. It was all fun stuff and the day was super nice. The weather was gorgeous. I did forget to put on any kind of sunblock and I ended up with a tiny bit of a sunburn, but it wasn’t bad at all. Still, I was wiped out, and I ended up sleeping over eleven hours last night. I woke up for a bit and played on the internet around seven I think, but as soon as I closed my eyes I was asleep again solidly until noon (well, 11:58, but close enough).

Today when mom and I went to Morrow Mountain for our annual trip, I put on some makeup. Mom and I usually take a picture or two so it’s nice to have on a little “something something.” The other plus to the makeup I wore is that it’s SPF 25. Even without the sunblock properties, having a layer of makeup on blocks some of the rays of the sun. It’s November, we’re near to the “longest night” of the year for my hemisphere in an area that really isn’t close to the equator and I’m getting sunburned. It’s ridiculous. But since it is that late in the year, it also means that any attempt to block the sun from shining directly on my face for more than an hour or so should be more than enough. When I went out yesterday, there was barely any shade for the three and a half hours I was there. And it was also the riskiest part of the day, even in winter, for sunburns. We were there from around 10:30 to a little after 2 pm. Literally, the sun at it’s strongest and most direct from 10 am to 2 pm, and those are the hours I decide to leave my fair ass face exposed to the sun. There also wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was honestly the clearest I have seen it in months. We’re getting ready for more rain now, but yesterday was dry as hell and there wasn’t even a hint that a cloud had ever graced our sky. Not the day to skip on sunblock.

It could’ve been worse. I still should know better. I can get away with very minimal sunscreen so long as I use something. I’ve got my skin trained to tan for the most part in the summer, again, so long as I use at least a little sunscreen. One of the best things for me is using the spray sunblocks. They have sun protection active ingredients that I’m sure do their job. But they also leave a film over my skin. I think it’s a little like wearing nail polish or something because I usually have to scrub that damned layer of shit off, BUT that layer does help with the whole “blocking rays” thing. Or at the very least it seems to help me prevent sunburn. I can put on the weak 10 SPF stuff on and even if that’s all I use for hours, I’ll be fine. Well, as long as I haven’t missed any spots.

My face is a little itchy today, but it doesn’t hurt, so I’m taking that as a win. It was still a little extra red today. I have a naturally pink/red/sometimes blotchy complexion so even without the sunburn I’m a little red. I’m not overly fond of it. I also blush easily and usually deeply. It’s not my favorite because no matter how good my poker face in other situations I can’t seem to get a handle on the blush thing. I did get a sample in my IT Cosmetics order for their anti-redness cream and I gotta say it’s a hell of an impressive thing. I used some today under my other makeup to help with the whole “red sunburned” face thing and it was impressive, to say the least. I’m going to have to order me some of that for sure.

Speaking of their cosmetics, I’m a little annoyed with myself for ordering the wrong type of foundation--I wanted the CC Cream but I grabbed their full coverage moisturizers. Not that the moisturizer isn’t a good thing. I need all the moisture I can get for my face (without oilllll cause I’ll break the hell out). I love their products. They’re more expensive than I should even think about spending right now, but my face has been painfully dry no matter how much lotion and how many different types of facial moisturizers I’ve applied and theirs has finally left my skin feeling 1) soft to the touch and 2) not itchy and scaley from the “inside.” When I say painfully dry, I mean that has been feeling sort of sunburned even before the actual sunburn--dry, tight, scaley… also most gritty in a way too. It’s been so uncomfortable. So to have something that works has been a huge relief.

I could probably wax poetic for another hour about how much I love IT cosmetics so maybe I’ll do that later since I’ve had such a hard time writing lately, but for the moment I need to head to bed. Night y’all.