Not really functional

[float_on_alright]

 

I can barely function today honestly. I was impressed that I made it through the day. It was a busy day at work. We were so slammed and I barely had time to think.

Not to say that I wasn’t tired all day, because I was definitely tired all day, because I definitely was, but now that I’m home and fed I can barely keep my eyes open. I’m fighting really hard not to fall asleep on my chair in the living room. I’ve decided that I’m going to be in bed by 11 pm tonight. I don’t have to be up until about 8:45 but after barely getting any sleep last night and partying it up with my friend Emily and also knowing that I’m going to be working extra long days the next few days to try to gear up for the trip I’m going on in a few days, I think it’s important that I really commit to getting an enormous amount of sleep tonight. I suppose I could go ahead and go to bed right now, but I need to write. I’m so behind on my writing goal, it’s not even funny.

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make the word count goal. I’m determined that I’m going to make my story goal. Considering that I think I only need a couple hundred more words to make my “bring Dolls back to life” fic, I think I can finish it and get it edited and posted before I leave. Whether or not I complete that goal is going to be close because as I mentioned I have a lot going on! I really want to make it though. As important as it is to me that I get my word goal met, I think the writing and posting a story each month is the goal that is really the most important to me. The words I write for my goal don’t have to be for anything in particular and I count my journal entries. I feel good about that because the writing habit becomes more and more of a habit that way, but it also means that I don’t necessarily work on writing in a way that’s geared towards building better plots, characters, etcetera. It’s the stories that (at least I hope!) are going to do the most for helping me improve my writing skills long term.

Not that I’m giving up on that goal! I’m not. Right now, I’m not too far off track. It’s like I have an word count per day average of 590. My goal was 600 so that’s pretty close. In top of that, I still have a few months to go. Making that goal is still totally possible at this point. Not to say that it will be easy or anything, because I don’t believe it will be easy at all. Especially if I’m this tired everynight I try to do this. I’m so tried. I can barely stay awake at all. I’m so tired I’m typing with my eyes closed because I honestly can’t hold them open.

Which I should take as my queue to pass out. Yeah. I think that would be the smart thing at this point even if I really don’t want to go to bed yet.

I knew when I was up at 2 am laughing with my friend and dying over the ridiculousness of the shit we were watching, that I was going to pay for staying up all night laughing until my lungs hurt and I thought I was peeing myself. It was worth it though. I felt so good while I was hanging out with Emily. I always do, but when we get to just hang out in pajamas and be girlfriends, it’s one of the best things ever. We spent time with her little boy, whose three now and calls me “Cake” and that was really nice too. Then her hubby came home, hooked us hope with some good stuff, and then took the baby off my friend’s hands. I’ve disapproved of a lot of the shit he’s pulled that my friend has talked about, but their relationship has come a really, really, amazingly long way.

Okay that’s it. I’m falling asleep and I can’t process anything at all anymore. Night y’all!