Sleep and Other Endeavors

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I find myself particularly tired tonight. It’s all my own fault of course. I didn’t sleep properly Friday night because of emotions and booze so I was tired driving home on Saturday, but that night I still stayed up late. I slept for a while on Sunday, but I woke up a little earlier than I anticipated. I could’ve gone back to sleep and that’s definitely what I should’ve done but I ended up reading and surfing the internet instead. That led me to be pretty tired yesterday even though I didn’t actually do anything. Then last night I had the audacity to stay up until almost three am when I knew I was going to get up around five am. To say that was a monumentally atrocious decision is probably an understatement, but it’s not like I can do anything about it now.

The worst part of the tiredness today was the anxiety. Most of the time tiredness doesn’t play too much havoc on me. I tend to stay about the same regardless of sleep: a little scattered, a lot friendly, and a good bit silly. But there’s a level of lack of sleep, and I think that means I have a window of fewer than four hours a night before I run the risk of being a disaster rather than a mess. It’s a bit like Russian Roulette in a way. Obviously, there’s no risk of death… well, I suppose lack of sleep could cause death in extreme cases, but I don’t think mine is that severe.

I’ve nearly fallen asleep like five times. I just need to go to bed. Ugh. Tomorrow is going to be rough words wise.