Sort of Sudden Big Decision

[float_on_alright]

I made it home safely, but I am not particularly emotionally well at the moment. I’m tired because I didn’t sleep well. I didn’t drink WAY too much last night, but I definitely drank more than I should’ve and I spent the night tossing and turning and switching between hot and cold and having nightmares about organizing funerals and paying thousands of dollars to have someone buried. It was very unsettling. I know a large part of it was specifically about He-Who-Absolutely-Cannot-Stay-Dead because he was in my dream or the actor who plays him was. The other person was the dad of a friend of mine. The friend and her father aren’t close and even though I’ve been friends with her for quite some time and I’ve met a lot of her other family members, I’ve never met her father so why I was doing this--why I was being told I had to spend $8,000 to buy his coffin and bury him--I have absolutely no idea, but I guess that’s what I get for combining a touch too much alcohol with an emotionally traumatic episode of my favorite show with a hotel bed.

And now I’ve decided to apply to Grad school. I’ve been contemplating it for years. I took the GRE at the end of my time at university because I wanted to get my Master’s in Library Science, but I was so burned out between working damned near fulltime (36 hours between the two jobs I worked) plus going to class for 15 - 16 hours a day, plus homework. I imagine I’m about to go through all of this again since I’ll be going to school--probably taking two or three classes a semester--and working full time.

That is assuming that I get accepted. I feel like I’m a shoe-in for this thing, and, perversely, that makes me nervous. I guess that’s my brain for you.

I started working on the things. I need to get letters of recommendation and I’m not 100000% sure who I should go about asking. They’re supposed to be professional or educational recommendations. I doubt a letter written by someone who knew me ten years ago in school is going to be a good choice and no one at my job has known me a full year yet which just doesn’t seem like a long enough time. I don’t know if I feel okay about asking Scott for one. He’s got a shit ton on his plate and I just don’t know that he’s really into letter writing or whatever. I know he must have given me a decent review in order for my library job to go through (the county does not fuck around when vetting new employees, I tell you what), but that still doesn’t seem like the same thing since I think he just had to answer some specific questions.

It’s something I’ll have to think about.

I’ll also need to write a statement of intent… purpose, statement of purpose, but I don’t think that will be too bad. It’s just something I’ll have to think about a little and then spend some time on.

I need to go to bed and sleep.