float_on_alright | Obsessive Compulsive Reading (Reply)

I was going to make time to write today, but just as I got home from my friend’s house my mom texted me that she’d cleaned her tub so I could take a bath, so I had myself a spa day instead. I mean, two hours in a bath that included Epsom salts, shower oil, bubbles, and a bath bomb. I played a spa music playlist I found on Apple music which was glorious. And I read one of my favorite books. It was so fucking glorious. I don’t have any regrets whatsoever about my day though there is part of me that thinks I should’ve spent more of my time writing or at least reading a book that I hadn’t already read. I say “part of me thinks,” but I think it might be more accurate to say something like, “I feel like I SHOULD think.” Like, you know how sometimes you feel like you ought to feel bad about something, but you just sort of feel sorry for NOT feeling bad? It’s like that. a

There are so many books I am dying to read. There honestly, truly are. I intensely want to read them, and there are more of them than there are species on the planet. At the same time, sometimes the need to reread something is so consuming that I can’t think about reading anything else. That’s how I felt today. I went through a good chunk of my books over and over again today, but I couldn’t derail my brain from the desire to reread “The Backup Boyfriend,” and I knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t going to be happy reading anything else. Now that I’ve reread it I've found that I love it just as much on the second read I did on the first, so I’ll probably end up rereading it one day, and I should now be free from the compulsion to read it which will give me the freedom to pick up the next thing.

Man, I am worn out. I think it’s time to call it a night and try again tomorrow.