There is a lot of crying in writing

 

I’ve sat here procrastinating write for hours. I mean that literally. I’ve been free to write for about two hours now and I’ve just not started. I kept promising myself I would and I pretty much just watched a Hallmark Christmas I saw last year and played Pokemon Go instead. Which is pretty much my life right now. I think it’s because I know school is coming up and also because work is looking stressful and overwhelming right this second.

Here’s the majority of the work stuff I have coming up before Christmas (I say majority because I honestly can’t keep it all in my head--planners, calendars, and to-do lists for the win!):

Two new displays to figure out

Book Club Questions to write

Book Club on Monday

Write-In for work on Wednesday

Write the Teen Blog Post

Present a Reader’s Advisory on how to find and recommend diverse books

Figure out what I’m going to do in the presentation for Reader’s Advisory

Figure out what I’m going to present for the “you’ve got to read this” podcast thing

Go to the “you’ve got to read this” podcast recording at a branch on the far side of county from me

Pick and pack a shit ton of stuff for outreach at both senior homes

Figure out an activity to do at the senior homes

Get ready for the DigiLit session at the other senior outreach place

Read the book from the Teen Staff Book Exchange

Figure how to present our findings from the Customer Service Observation Team

Present said information at the all-staff meeting

Most of this stuff is going to take place by the end of day on December 13th. Actually I think all of this is supposed to be done by December 13th. Add in that I had to take an extra day off to keep from having “overtime” on my time sheet and I’m just feeling very rushed. It’s all going to be fine. I fully believe that everything is going to work out just fine. Well, my logical brain knows. My anxiety brain doesn’t. It’s very concerned.

Part of the problem is also that I’m lazy and a procrastinator. Neither of these things is helpful.

I also need to work on scholarships and grants for school.

Oh, and my car tax payment is due.

And I’m still not fully healed from my injury. I wish I could express how frustrated I am that I still have so much trouble with my foot/ankle. Next Monday, I’m set to go see the doctor again. He said we’ll likely do some more x-rays to check on everything--that is not a bill I’m excited to pay, but if that’s what I need to do, then I guess I’ll be figuring it out.

I also recently mentioned the pain in my shoulder. The pain in my shoulder is currently more extreme than the discomfort of my foot, but because I have to do things like stand and walk, the foot tends to be more troublesome. Also I’ve had a lot of practice ignoring my shoulder. Well, not ignoring exactly, but doing a good enough job blocking it out so that it impacts my life as little as possible. Some days are worse than others, and the last week or two have been worse than usual, but I’ll figure out a way to help those muscles soon.

In the meantime, I need sleep.