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So 800 years ago... okay, it was May of 2012. So five and half years ago I posted that I was going to take on the Big Damn Table for the Avengers. I did post a few stories—six I believe—but I had a lot more to go when I fell off writing. I can’t remember if I fell off writing completely for a while or if I just fell off the Avengers for a bit. It could have been either. Life is crazy all the time and it is easy to get lost in the madness and not make time to write (sometimes it comes down to sleeping for a few hours a night or not sleeping at all and writing and there are times you have to choose those few hours of sleep or the time to shower or you fall into a depression that consumes all your engery to survive). Sometimes you just get tired of writing in a particular world. I’d written a hell of a lot of Avengers fanfic at that point so it could very well have been that I just burned out for a bit. I don’t suppose it matters why I quit. 

You know what? We’re not going to call it quitting, we’re going to call it “temporarily suspended progress.” Yeah. But I just wrote a terrible story for Rebby (it needs at least a little editing before I post it but I likely won’t do that until tomorrow) and it mad me feel like getting back into the Avengers FanFic writing mood and it’s pretty much the perfect time since the we’ve had so many epic movies in the last year and we have both Black Panther and Infinity War coming up in the next—what, six months? When better to start writing? I know a lot of my initial stories were written right before the first movie came out. I mean some of them came later, but I think most of them came pre-the first ensemble movie. 

I still want to see more of Darcy so I have a feeling that she is going to feature in quite a few. I don’t know how, exactly, I’m going to work that yet since Jane and Thor broke up, but dammit I’m sure I’ll think of something. I probably will need to rewatch some of the other movies again to work out some things—the horror. 

Well, I’d better get some sleep but I’ve posted the table below and tomorrow I’ll work on making the table into a list as well so I can mark off the ones I’ve done so far. 

Big Damn Table

stars	understanding	arguments/fighting	conversation	darkness
again	warm	breathing	cold	hurt
lost	rain	unexpected	sunshine	abrupt
pictures	letters	hard	soft	reminder
relaxation	dreams	hospital	in the past	in the future
kitchen	late night	on the run	early morning	taking charge
coats	leadership	sharing	hiding	help
risk	blood	power	Avenger/s	nightmares
time	control	fairness	trust	do-over
regrets	transportation	empty	washing	mission

P.S. Yes I said I was going to nap... oops. 

For someone who loves sleep, I sure do put it off a lot for other things

 Today was an interesting day. I honestly felt like it was over before I had a chance to process that it was happening. I was busy when I was at the desk, and then when I was off the desk, I was distracted by things like my co-worker Jonathan and the shenanigans that come with our being in the same room or me just in general getting swept up in display options. It was nice that the day went by so quickly though of course, that means that I didn't get much of anything done and tomorrow I'll be doing training at the circulation desk so I won't have a lot of time for projects tomorrow. Friday I'll be on the desk all day. I'll be on with Jonathan and Jonita. I've worked with both of them plenty, but I don't think I've been on the desk with them at the same time which is odd now that I think about it. 

And the idea is a bit like having your mom along as a chaperone on a school field trip when you've been partnered with one of your favorite classmates. I just honestly don't know how else to describe it. Jonita comes off very sweet, but she's still the branch manager, and as I mentioned, there are shenanigans when Jonathan and I are working together so things could get interesting. 

I was glad today went by quickly because I didn't get nearly last night and I worried I would get too tired to function today. Instead, I was a ball of adrenaline and caffeine. Not the smartest thing to do but I'm not always the brightest grape in the bunch. To be fair, I did actually have a bit of trouble going to sleep once I got in bed. Trouble sleeping is pretty damn rare for me, but I've got a lot on my mind and a lot coming up over the coming months, and there is still a lot about the job I'm getting used to. Plus, I think I just didn't want Christmas break to be over. 

I really need like two days of doing nothing--absolutely nothing at all. I don't know when I'll get to do that. I'd like to call out of work one day and just breathe for a minute, but I can't call out on the days that I have stuff going on unless I'm really sick and I have stuff going on pretty much every day. Or I need to be there because we're going to be down a staff member already. Plus, if I can make it another two days without calling out sick, I'll get an extra four hours of vacation time which will be extremely helpful for my trip to see Ju'Leia, DragonCon, and dad's 60th birthday adventure--whatever and whenever that might be. 

That's the other part of calling out. It'd have to be sick leave since I'm going to need all the vacation time I can wrangle and if I don't use sick leave for seven pay periods in a row (that's about 98 days), I get the extra vacation time. Now, 98 days in a row is a chunk, but I'm almost there for my first set of 7, and I would be so mad if, with only two days needed to get it, I took sick leave and reset the counter to zero. I mean, how awful would that be??

I know I can make it. I'm sure I can. I just might be asleep when I get to my friend's on Friday night. I'm sure she'd understand though, so that'll be fine. And with two other girls going for the weekend as well, it's not like anyone will be relying on me to be the entertainment. 

It is going to be tough. I have a lot of reading and writing to complete before the end of the year, and I'm pretty determined to get there, but it's going to mean sacrificing a little sleep. My poor sleep. At least I don't have to get up as early as I used to back in the Scholastic Days, that certainly is a big help. 

Alright, I need to finish up a few other things and head to bed to get what sleep I can get tonight. 

<3