I forgot to do my morning post today and I was annoyed but by the time I remembered I was sort of caught up in my day. Also in the book I was reading, “Been Here All Along”, which Oh Myyy Gawd I was absolutely unable to put it down for more than like five minutes at a time. It was like crack. Or really excellent fanfiction. So gooodddd. It’s by Sandra Hall and I highly recommend it if you like m/m fluffy teen romance.
I did enjoy a lot about today, especially reading that book. My friend Emily and I had so many fun laughs today and had a lovely walk this afternoon - only like 15 minutes but it was a wonderful break. I had several good calls with my customers today too which was great.
The problem with getting sucked into a book like that is that it’s hard to get anything else done, including work on my writing goals. I have a feeling today is going to be a “bare minimum” writing night but I’m pretty okay with that. Almost all of my goals have been met for the week which is great. The only thing I wanted to accomplish by 11pm tomorrow that I have not yet is write 300 words in an original fiction piece. I am going to try to get a hundred or so words on that tonight just so that I can at least have a start tomorrow when I get home in the evening. I’ll probably need to walk the dog and I’ll also need to make dinner. I am usually pretty worn out on Friday nights too so sometimes it’s hard to stay awake to write at all. It’s kind of funny to me that Friday night would be the hardest for me to meet my writing goal but I guess with the rest of the week being so busy I kind of start to crash.
I’ve got a big day tomorrow and I’m kind of nervous about a lot of it so I’m working on the whole “be here now” thing and while I by no means have it “mastered” I think I’ve made some significant strides. If I’m in this moment then I’m not worrying about the moments of tomorrow. And tomorrow, instead of anxiously awaiting “getting through” whatever things are going on, I’ll need to practice paying attention so that I can learn from the experiences and grow.
One of the things that I read recently that had also been said to me by a coworker only a day or two before is something along the lines of “Instead of asking why something is happening to you, ask yourself why something is happening for you.” Shit happens. There will always shit storms in life and there will always be things that aren’t pleasant but that doesn’t mean that you can’t get something positive out of them. The other part is to remember to take nothing personally. That is also a work in progress for me. I think I’m getting better at remembering that people filter the world in different ways but all those filters are false, even my own. The world may be what it is but all we ever really experience is what we impose upon the experiences we have. Not that I don’t think that we shouldn’t strive to make a better world, but I do think this world would be a better place if people (as a whole) stopped thinking that their way to view the world is the only right way to view the world.
I am, and have always been, a person of faith, but I feel like religion causes a more pain than just about anything else in the world. Don’t get me wrong, an individual’s faith can be a tremendous and beautiful thing but the idea that there is only one way to go about living life is not only absurd but often monstrously cruel. I think the only things people should get hung up on are being kind to each other and chasing their own dreams in healthy, determined ways.
I’d like to stay up longer. I’d like to write another chunk, but I’m actually exhausted and I have a big day tomorrow so I’d better get some rest. Wish me luck!