One Time It Wasn't Tony’s Fault (Avengers Humor Fic)

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Title: One Time It Wasn't Tony’s Fault

Characters: Tony Stark and Clint Barton (mentions of Black Widow/Natasha and Pepper Potts)

Pairing: Sort of Natasha/Clint and can be read as Tony/Pepper

Summary: Tony goes to the Medical Ward and runs into a fellow Avenger.

Verse: Marvel Movie Universe

Rating: Teen for adult situations and sexual concepts (there is no sex in the story).

Spoilers: Absolutely none.

Warnings: None, really.

Disclaimer: As much as I like to pretend, I have absolutely no rights to these characters.

Big thanks yet again to shanachie_quill, who is awesome.

This is a part of my "Texts From Last Night" mini-table stories.

The mini-table information is here.

And the AO3 link here.

One Time It Wasn’t Tony’s Fault

(But Just this One Time)

“Well, it doesn’t look like you were too seriously hurt. I would like to do some x-rays to make sure that your shoulder has not been dislocated and do some stitches on that gash on your forehead. How’d you say you got these again?”

“Training exercise,” Clint told the doctor. That was when Tony Stark realized that Clint Barton was one of the best damned liars he’d ever seen. The doctor raised an eyebrow as if asking why after training so long without sustaining an injury, Clint found himself in need of a doctor today. “My training partner - Natasha - it turns out she doesn’t like being called a girl,” Clint added smoothly which the doctor seemed to accept without hesitation.

“Ah,” the doctor said. “You’ve learned your lesson then?”

Clint grinned. “Yes, the next time I call her a girl, I’ll make sure that I’m a good distance away and I have an arrow between us.”

“I think we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, Agent Barton,” the doctor said, shaking his head. “Let me go find out about getting your X-Rays done,” he added shortly before leaving the room.

“Clinton Francis Barton, I had no idea you were such a skilled liar,” Tony said, once he was sure that the doctor was out of ear shot. He was in the medical ward because Pepper insisted he wasn’t qualified to give himself stitches on his forehead and “No, no way in hell” was she attempting it. Tony had been informed that he was “going to the doctor this time” and “that was final”. He was already patched up and was ready to leave when he’d seen the other Avenger come in bleeding from his forehead and looking a little dazed. Tony had immediately decided he’d stay for the show.

“Tony, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Clint said, still grinning like a mad man. Tony was less certain than the doctor was that Clint didn’t have a concussion.

“As someone who likes to give the truth scope, I know a cover story when I see one. Come on, what really happened?” he asked, unable to squelch his curiosity if only because Clint seemed to be hiding something.

Clint checked the door to be sure no one was listening in and leaned conspiratorially towards Tony before whispering, “I may have surprised Natasha.”

“I don’t believe it,” Tony said flatly.

“Well, you can see I wasn’t as successful as I would have liked to have been.” Clint shrugged.

Tony considered the story for a moment. “No, there’s more to it than that.”

Clint sighed and added softly, “I tickled her.”

Tony practically shouted, “You did what?”

“I said I,” Clint started, but Tony cut him off.

“I heard what you said,” he whispered back. “What were you thinking?”

Clint shrugged again. “I mean, like 95% of tickle wars end in sex, so…” The archer waved his hands.

Tony weighed the goal against the outcome: the possibility of sex with Natasha versus what appeared to be very minor injuries (considering). The man had a point (and quite a set). “So what happened then?”

“She doesn’t especially like to be surprised or touched by someone she can’t see so she flipped me over her shoulder.”

“Ah,” Tony said, knowing the skills Natasha possessed very well.

“She was sorry when she realized it was me,” he said.

“Really?” Tony asked, having a hard time believing Natasha would apologize for anything.

“Well, she yelled at me for sneaking up on her and asked me what the hell was I thinking, but that’s the same thing as an apology with her.”

“What did you tell her you were thinking?” Tony asked, dying to know what the man had said.

“Same thing I told you,” Clint said. “No point lying to the human lie detector.”

Tony whistled and then asked, “Think you’ve got a chance?”

Clint’s mad grin came back. “Oh yeah.”