May. 16th, 2017

float_on_alright: I have no idea what i'm doing out of bed (no idea what i'm doing out of bed)
I’m pretty wiped out today. It’s not been a bad day or anything but I was helping to do some training for a few of our less technology savvy people in the office and while I’m okay at coaching or tutoring, I have felt confident in my teaching ability in the past and this definitely more teaching than tutoring. I know people think that these things are the same but they’re not. Teacher’s come up with the topic for the classes and prepare presentations and then assign practice. And while I don’t really have to assign them “homework” per se, the other two things sort of apply. I’m mostly fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pantsing-it but I still have to teach people stuff. And they don’t seem to be able to tell me what they don’t know because they don’t think they know what they don’t know, but dude, I have no idea what they don’t know. 

With coaching, it’s like “okay you can sort of throw the ball, let's work on your stance and the mechanics” where is this them saying “we have been given a baseball but we don’t want to use it because we just don’t feel comfortable using it.” 

Or something. 

I don’t know, I’m far too brain dead to be trying to figure out these sorts of metaphors. 

The meetings themselves were nearly 2 hours long and then I had to be there early to prep and stay after to “debrief” for lack of a better word so when all was said and done I probably spent about 5 or 6 hours on this stuff today. Which meant I had to try to juggle answering emails and returning phone calls in between. I meant to get there early to give myself a chance, but there are innumerable shifting construction sites and there was an accident on the highway (it didn’t look bad, but it was at an odd spot) that cause major extra congestion so I ended up being a little late instead. I should leave my house early than I do if I’m honest, and I am trying to be. I always have good intentions but then I just wake up so freaking sleepy. 

Anyway, that only leave about an hour and forty-five minutes for my normal work so I stayed a half an hour late. 

I was stuck inside the office all day. I barely took fifteen minutes for my lunch so I just scared it down once I’d finished heating it. I kind of wish I had gone outside to eat but I didn’t feel I had enough time to make it worth it and I really don’t think I did. I think going outside would’ve just made it harder to go back inside and do my work. 

Because I felt so stifled by the office today, so trapped by it, I knew I had to have a walk or something outside. So when I got home I did go for a walk. It was quite warm but it isn’t at full peak heat and humidity yet so it was still pretty pleasant, thankfully. I was able to listen to a little bit of a book that I was reading for fun which was lovely. Randomly, a few of the neighborhood sprinklers were on - the community grass areas, not like private property ones. They’re along the sidewalks so I was able to run through a few sprinklers and that was a blast. I was definitely acting a bit like a little kid for that. It was just necessary though. I think God or the universe knew that I needed something. 

The rest of my evening has been pretty nice. I still need to finish my word count and re-save that podcast with the correct information. 

Of course part of the problem is that I can barely keep my eyes open - I’m just absolutely exhausted and I still need to brush my teeth and clean off my make up. It’s going to be at least 11 by the time I do that all and messing with the podcast already sounds like a terrible chore. And it’s ridiculous because honestly I think it’ll take 90 seconds maximum to get it all right I just don’t want to do it. I’m tired and I want to go to bed. And I want to sleep until I need to walk out the door in the morning instead of messing with it. 

I’m hoping that I’ll feel some sort of pride or accomplishment once it’s posted on the website. I guess we’ll see. 


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