float_on_alright | Audiobooks and Other "Hard Decisions" (Reply)

I keep thinking it’s Monday which is really weird considering that I worked yesterday and the mail didn’t come today. The only explanation I have is that dad headed out today when he would normally leave on a Monday not a Sunday evening, but honestly? Who knows. If anything, Tuesday would make more sense as far as “what day this feels like” goes, but it is what it is.

In a few days I’m leaving to visit California and I am sure that I will be stupid excited about it just as soon as I figure out that this trip is really happening, because right now, that trip does not feel like a real thing. I leave early, early on Wednesday which is less than three days away. Oh good God I have so much packing today. And so much to do. And I work until 8pm the next two nights. And I have an appointment at 9am on Tuesday before work at the Aquatic center to learn about the equipment and maybe get an idea of a starter strength training routine. I just have zero upper body strength. The nurse lady at the Aquatic Center says I need to lose seven inches off my waist. Ugh. I think I’ve mentioned it previously, but I’m just still like “ugh.”

So it’s not that I’m opposed to the weight loss thing because I do want to lose some weight, and it isn’t so much the idea that someone is telling me to lose the weight, though that always irks me a little bit. It’s just intimidating I guess and even at my thinnest, when I had people concerned about the amount of weight I had lost I still had a tummy. I mean, I barely ate anything and I worked out and I still had a tummy. My parents both gain their weight in their middles. And they say the trick to belly weight loss is mostly not eating carbs which is just like the worst thing food wise. Sorry, or whatever, but what is life without carbs? Granted I know I should cut back on them. But cut them out adkins keto style? Hells no.

Sigh. Granted, as much as I’ve exercised the last few days, I’m not going to decide anything major about my food or regular routine until I get back from California next week. No way am I visiting the L.A. area on a diet. Which… considering Hollywood is probably a little bit ironic, I guess, but whatever.

For right now, I just need to decide if I’m exercising tomorrow and if so, what the plan is for that. I have to be at work by 11am so I have been considering going to the 9am water aerobics thing. I’m not sure I’m ready to voluntarily get up at like 7am to go workout at 8am. The 9am is a little more manageable for me as a person, but that also means that I’d have to shower and get dressed in their locker room in about 15 - 20 minutes so that I can still make it to work on time which is cutting it kind of close. Considering that’s probably what I’ll have to do on Tuesday because of the appointment I have with the trainor, I’m not sure I want to experience that stress twice in a row. On the other hand, I probably won’t have the opportunity to do one of the water aerobics classes again until the Saturday after next.

The other thing I’m debating right now is even more ridiculous, honestly. There’s this book I am in love with. It’s just darling. I own it as an ebook, but I’d really like to have the digital audiobook as well. The thing is, it’s kind of pricey for the length of the book--like $11 which wouldn’t be as bad except for the part where a) I already own the book and b) outside of the subscriptions I have for Kindle Unlimited and Audible, I have to write 1000 words for ever $1 I want to spend. I’d need to write a couple more thousand words to cover the cost of the book and the tax and then if there was anything else I really wanted, I’d have to wait until I’d written enough to do more shopping. The other option is using one of my monthly Audible credits (when I get another one in a week or two), but the cost of the subscription is about $15 (for one credit a month) and, again, the audiobook is $11. I don’t like to “spend” my credits on any books that are less than $15.

And again, I already own an electronic version of the book. It’s not like I haven’t read it or that I don’t have access to reading it any time. I could be using the words/money to buy books that I don’t yet own instead. I do want that book really badly though.

This is all so arbitrary and such a “non” problem, but it’s part of who I am I guess to have these kinds of debates with myself.

I’m pretty damn tired tonight. It was a crazy week last week and I stayed busy Friday and this weekend was wild and I’m feeling it all the way through. I’m sure that tiredness is not helping my situation.

I think I’ll set my alarm for just late enough to take a shower before work tomorrow and get some good rest. I know with packing and the Tuesday morning exercising coming up, I’m going to need some sleep. I may be able to get some sleep on the flights out to Cali, but considering how early I have to be up on Wednesday, it’s going to be more like a series of naps I get that day than proper sleep. Then there’s jet lag. And I want to get to enjoy the massive trip I’m taking.

Okay, I think sleep, and then other decisions can be made and sorted when I’m rested.