I really want a giant chocolate bar

It’s a little tough watching stuff on my iPad while I write. So far I haven’t figured out how lock the Docs app on one side of the screen with a video playing on the other side. It’ll only let me hover the doc over the video. Or something like that.

I did find Jason Statham on the TV so I tried that for a bit, but it was almost over and we only have the basic channels here so at night there isn't a lot on. Some stations literally aren’t airing anything at all right now. One channel isn’t airing anything again until like 2am which I find confusing. I mean, aren’t people more likely to be up watching TV at midnight rather than 2 am? Or is it because it’s a Saturday and they figure if people are up they’re at the clubs so they don’t bother to play anything until they’re starting to get home? I just… I have questions. Maybe the guide just doesn’t show that anything is on. I can’t tell if it’s just the janky-ass remote or me that can’t make the TV go to these stations that don’t appear to be airing anything or if they legitimately aren’t airing anything and you can’t really connect to them when they’re not airing anything. This is probably something I could “google” but I can’t say as I feel like doing that right now. And if I do go off to search something, I’m sure that I’ll get distracted and then I’ll never finish this post or go to bed.

I definitely should head to bed soon. I know that. I don’t feel too jet lagged though I felt super tired before we went out for dinner around 7pm, but I think that’s just me as a person. I’m often super sleepy around dinner time and then I perk up a little later, get a second one and inevitably end up staying up much later than is a good idea.

Sleeping was interesting yesterday because I could not make myself stay conscious for one more second around 9 or 10 pm and passed out on the couch. I slept for a solid few hours and then woke up around 2:15 am. The couch is a sleeper sofa type, so I pulled out the bed/mattress and then laid there and chatted with people and watched an episode of Legends and surfed the internet until just after 5 am. I was hoping to get at least two or three more hours before I got up. I slept solidly aside from my folks waking me up on occasion and dad trying to talk to me while I was sleeping until midday or so. I’m reasonably certain I slept until 11 so that was another good chunk of time.

The good thing is that I do feel sleepy so I think once I pull out bed situation again and get cozy, I’ll sleep. Sure, 2 am is kind of late, but it’s also not anywhere near unheard of for me to be staying up until 2 am on a weekend or holiday. Hell, during the hurricane I think I stayed up reading until nearly 4 am one day. And if I’m on a “basically normal for my weekends/vacations” schedule, then I’m not too jet lagged and should be able to manage the rest of the trip easily enough.

I’m curious to see how things go when I get back. I’m hoping that I’ll sleep the majority of the trip home but then still be tired enough to go to bed shortly after I get home and have some food on the Sunday night I get back. I have to go straight back to work and then work like 11 days in a row so things are definitely going to be interesting.

Eh, I don’t want to think about work right at the moment. Hell, I don’t want to think about it at all during the trip if I can manage it.

If I’m thinking about work stuff, it’s probably time for me to go to bed. I’m really tempted to read though. I really am.

Phoenix from the Ashes

Title: Phoenix From the Ashes
Characters: Wynonna Earp, John “Doc Holliday” Henry,
Genre: friendship, fix it fic
Fandom: Wynonna Earp
Summary: Wynonna finds a kind on her land and he bares a striking resemblance to Xavier Dolls.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Uh, basically spoilers for the first half of Season 3.

These characters aren’t mine, obviously. And Emily Andras is the queen, but I need Dolls back.

Wynonna stopped in her tracks, sending up a prayer. She didn’t pray often, but she figured that if there were demons and a Hell, then that meant there must also be angels and Heaven. She was still reeling from what Bobo had said about Waverly’s dad being an angel, assuming Bobo was telling the truth. But Wynonna believed that if anyone on the planet had an angel for a daddy, that person sure as shit was her little sister. So she hoped, that for once, a higher power was listening to her prayers and willing to grant a wish or two. She didn’t know how she was going to survive otherwise.

A dark-skinned, darker eyed boy was staring up at her. He was standing on a hill on the wrong edge of The Homestead wearing nothing more than a blanket, one that she was pretty sure had been hanging on her laundry line a few hours ago when she’d left for her makeshift shooting range.

“Please don’t be a revenant,” she whispered to herself. Frantically, she thought through all that she could remember of the research her sister had done over the years, searching her mind for the memory of any children her great-great-great granddaddy might’ve killed as he went around slinging guns and getting cursed by demons. She couldn’t remember any, but considering other Revenants became Revenants because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, she couldn’t swear Wyatt Earp hadn’t killed a young boy. Jesus. She hoped not.

And so she stood, stock still, staring at a boy who didn’t look more than five years old though she wasn’t sure she could be trusted to accurately guess the age of any children. The kid looked familiar. Not so much like she’d seen him before, but in that way that he looked like someone she knew.

God dammit what fresh hell was this?

“Cursing at children isn’t very polite, Earp.” The kid flashed a quick half-smile, and the sensation of familiarity flared brighter.

“Guess I said that out loud, huh? Well, sorry, but it’s been a tough couple of... decades.” It didn’t surprise her that the kid knew her name. Everyone in this town did whether she realized it or not. So this kid must be from around here anyway.

“Is that excuses I hear?”

“What kind of kid talks like that?”

“You really going to let a child stand here in the snow and ice with no shoes?” he asked, studying her with something that looked like fondness and it made Wynonna shift uncomfortably.

“I guess not,” Wynonna sighed. “Follow me then. If you can cross onto The Homestead, I guess you’re all right. Even if you are a weird little bastard.”

The kid said something under his breath that Wynonna didn’t quite catch. It sounded like, “My mom would’ve loved you,” but she didn’t think that could be right.

The kid didn’t complain about not having shoes or the cold or anything else Wynonna thought a kid ought to find discomforting. He did let out a relieved sounding sigh when they stepped into The Homestead. It might be a drafty old place, but Waverly had a fire in the fireplace, and most of the wind was blocked.

“Who’s this?” Waverly asked in a sing-song voice that seemed appropriate for most five-year-olds, but wildly off the mark for this kid.

Wynonna smacked herself on the forehead. Had she even asked for the kid’s name before she’d let him into her home?

“I’m not sure you’re going to believe me,” he answered. His voice sounded young, but his tone sounded far too mature.

“We’ve heard it all, kid,” Wynonna told him, weary and tired and already worried about where this day was going to go.

“I’m not sure we should tempt fate by saying that, but we have definitely seen some unbelievable things,” Waverly added.

The kid inhaled for longer than Wynonna anticipated and wondered just how long this kid’s name was.

“Xavier Dolls.”

Silence descended on them, and Wynonna wasn’t sure how long she stood there staring at a kid who, now that she thought about it, looked exactly like what she imagined Dolls would’ve have looked like as a kid. No wonder he seemed so familiar.

“Dolls didn’t say he had a kid. I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered if he had a kid,” Wynonna breathed out in a rush.

“A secret kid? Two secret wives in the group and now a secret kid?” Waverly sounded like she wanted to kill Dolls all over again. Or maybe cry. Wynonna hoped it wasn’t that Waverly was about to cry.

The kid sighed again. “No, I’m not his kid. I’m him. I’m...” He waved vaguely at himself. “Resurrected or something. I woke up out on The Homestead.”

Wynonna wasn’t sure how long she stood there looking between the young boy claiming to be her dead friend and her sister while her sister looked between Wynonna and the kid. This was all a lot to take in.

“Who put you up to this?” Wynonna asked. “Someone pay you to say that? I mean, you look just like him so where… I know you probably thought it was just some dumb prank--” Wynonna couldn’t finish. The tears were welling up, and her throat was tightening and, Goddammit she couldn’t do this. How the fuck was she supposed to deal with this?

“It’s not a prank. Earp--”

The front door swung open again, and Doc seemed to be already talking. “I know what you said, Wynonna, but this is important and I… Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch. Don’t he look just like Agent Dolls?”

“Says he is Dolls,” Wynonna responded.

Doc stared at the boy and blinked a few times. Said-he-is-Dolls gave a quirk of his lips so unnervingly like her Dolls, Wynonna had to turn her back on the boy.

“Look, I know this is really tough to believe, but I am Xavier Dolls. I don’t know exactly what happened, but I’m guessing it had something to do with the experiments the government did. I… woke up in a pile of ashes and a fire that was sputtering out.”

“There’s no way. We cremated Dolls. We did cremate Dolls, didn't we?” Waverly’s confused expression held a dash of hope.

Wynonna’s bruised heart was bleeding openly again. How was she supposed to cope with losing Dolls all over again? Christ, she was barely holding it together as it was.

“I don’t know how this happened, okay? But would you at least get Jeremy to a DNA test or something? Please, Wynonna. I know this is hard. I know. I knew I was going to die at twenty-nine years old, and I had accepted it, but then I woke up in the middle of nowhere, on my own grave covered in ashes and soot and surrounded by fire. I was the size of a three-year-old. I’ve grown since this morning. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m me. I know. I swear to you, I do. Please, Earp. I’m still me.”

“Well, it sort of sounds like him. But you ever heard Dolls string together that many sentences in a row?” Doc asked.

“I will punch you in the kidneys.” It was weird seeing a five-year-old deadpan threaten Doc Holliday, but Wynonna decided that was just par for the course when it came to her life.

Wynonna sighed. “Okay, I guess we’re going to go see Jeremy.”

“We can ask Nicole to look up Amber alerts while we’re at it,” Waverly suggested.

“I’m not a missing kid,” the kid interjected, sounding both highly put out and a lot like Dolls. Jesus, if this was all a joke, it was a cruel one.

“Yeah, well, I’m not taking that chance. And I’m not calling you Dolls. We’ll call you X for now.”

“Fine.”

*****

Jeremy always reminded Wynonna of a Jack Russell Terrier. Where he got the energy to be so hyper, so much of the time, Wynonna couldn’t imagine, but she really wished he’d share. She felt so weary and worn down most of the time, that it was a struggle to put on clean clothes and shower. Hell, there had been mornings she’d only managed one of those two things. The only reason she currently had clean clothes because her mother was on a tear to make up for the years she’d spent locked away from them, doing things like dishes and laundry nearly constantly. Wynonna knew she should talk to her mom, but that was not something she had the energy to handle.

She didn’t have the energy to face this situation with the kid either, but at least she could sit down and let Jeremy run wild with blood tests and saliva analysis.

It took a while. Jeremy wasn’t your average CSI unit, but there was a limit to even his miracles. Whoever the kid was, he grew three inches in height while they were waiting. Wynonna didn’t want to admit it, but the fact that he did seem to be growing rather quickly gave her hope that he wasn’t lying.

“This is fascinating!” Jeremy was measuring the kid and enthusing. “Can you believe this? You’ve grown six point eight six centimeters since you came in here! Wow. I can’t wait to get the results from your blood work. You’ll let me run some more tests right? The diseases I could cure with the information in your blood. Amazing. So amazing. Do you remember--”

“Jeremy, seriously?” Wynonna interrupted him. There was only so much that she could handle.

“What?” Jeremy asked, oblivious as usual.

“Centimeters?” she asked.

“The metric system is a far more efficient and logical system of measurement than the US customary system,” Jeremy argued.

Wynonna closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was glad that Doc was dosing with his hat tipped over his face and Waverly was working through Missing Persons cases with Nicole. Wynonna didn’t think she could handle anyone else at the moment.

“Jeremy,” she warned.

“I’m just saying. Anyway, these results are fascinating. So far his results are consistent with Dolls. They have the same blood type, and it’s reacting similarly to what Doll’s used to before the degradation started.”

“What are you telling me, Jeremy?”

“I think he’s undergone the same experiments Dolls did.”

“So either this is Dolls, or they’re experimenting on children. Great.” Wynonna's head hurt just thinking about it.

“I suppose he could be a clone. Though that wouldn’t explain the accelerated growth rate.”

“I have all of my memories. How would a clone of all of the original person’s memories? This isn’t multiplicity!” the kid huffed. Wynonna still called him a kid in her head, but in the handful of hours since he first appeared, he’d grown a lot. Now he was starting to look like a teenager. And he was looking more and more like Dolls all the time.  

“How much longer until we have the DNA results back?” Wynonna asked.

“Why don’t you just ask me questions only Dolls would know? I can prove who I am,” X insisted.

“Black Badge was able to uncover all sorts of information they weren’t supposed to have, stuff that was personal. There was no way they could’ve have known some of the stuff they, but they did. I can’t trust that this wouldn’t be another of the same situation all over again. Now, how much longer do we have, Jeremy?”

“Yeah, is there any chance we can hurry this along? I’m starving,” X added.

“You just ate a box of donuts!” Wynonna scoffed.

“I need real food, Earp.”

“He is a growing boy,” Jeremy cut in. “Or something.” Jeremy coughed and cleared his throat. “It should be done soon. You should be grateful. Most labs would take a couple of days to tell you, but you have me.”

“We’re all delighted we have you, but could we order a pizza or something?” X asked.

“I need a drink,” Wynonna grumbled.

*****

Wynonna didn’t get her whiskey, but they did get pizza. Waverly had curled into Nicole’s side as they sat on the floor propped against one of the desks and Nicole had her arm slung over Waverly’s shoulder. No one was speaking, except Jeremy who muttered quietly to himself about how amazing and incredible everyone was. X was on his tenth slice of pizza, and the resemblance to her Dolls was getting downright uncanny when Jeremy finally shouted.

“No! Way!”

“What is it, Jeremy?” Wynonna tried to tell her heart to calm down. She really did. But her lungs were frozen in her chest, and she couldn’t breathe. The beating against her ribcage was thunderous and strong, and she couldn’t swallow for the lump in her throat. It was him.

“All the tests indicate this is Dolls. Or a clone that’s undergone the same experiment and also died thereby triggering what I’m guessing was an unintended side effect of the DNA editing they did, I guess. I think that’s unlikely.”

Before anyone could say anything else, Waverly had hopped up and raced to throw herself at Dolls. He was looking more and more like himself all the time, and Wynonna couldn’t do anything about the tears streaming down her face. She didn’t even realize what she was doing until she had wrapped her arms around her sister and Dolls and was squeezing the life out of them.

A couple of moments later and Nicole and Jeremy had joined.

“I’m glad you’re all right and everything, Dolls, but I ain’t hugging you.”

Wynonna couldn’t see Dolls’s face, but she suspected he was smiling when he replied, “I’m glad you’re still kicking, Doc.”

Nicole let go. “Good to have you back,” she said, smiling and wiping a tear. Then she grabbed Doc and pulled him out into the main office and away from the BBD office.

“Don’t you ever leave me like that again,” Wynonna fusses.

Dolls rested his forehead against Wynonna’s, and now she could see his smile. “I’ll do my best, Earp. I’ll do my best.”

Family and Rambles

I only need a few hundred words to meet my goal for the much, which is great! I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to make it with all the things that have gone on in September (tons of stuff at work, crazy busy desk times, DragonCon, this trip to England and Ireland, Jay’s visit, etcetera). Granted, I still have to write a few hundred more words so maybe I shouldn’t call it win just yet!

Even if I didn’t make my goal this month though, I’d still say it was worth sacrificing part of my writing goal for this trip. Even though we haven’t done a whole lot so far, seeing one of my aunts and one of my uncles and two of my cousins was amazing. I hadn’t visited here in five years. The last time I was here was for my grandfather’s funeral and the time before that was when my grandmother died. Both of those trips were in 2013 and that was a difficult year. It was a year of major change for me and a lot of the change was for the better, but it was still a really difficult year. To be visiting now, when things are good and I’m in a place where I mostly feel good about my life is such a wonderful feeling.

Either way, not seeing family you like (as well as love) for five years is not my favorite. It’s hard with everyone spread out everywhere. I think about my sister sometimes too. She has been to see Mark’s family and while his is closer, my sister hasn’t seen any of my dad’s family in years, maybe a couple of decades. I’m trying to remember the last time she went and I simply can’t say when that was. I honestly think the last time she went, I was a freshman in high school.

I feel like most of the trips have been just me and dad but there was one trip I didn’t go on that my sister did when I was in the 8th grade and there have been two or three trips my mom came on. I say “most” were just me and dad like there have been a ton of them, but there have been a handful throughout the years. There was one that the whole family did when I was between 6th and 7th grade. There were two where it was me and Chelsea who went with dad, maybe three? It was mom, dad, and myself for one trip and this trip. Then it was just me and dad for the first trip I remember taking in fourth grade, another one that I can’t quite remember when that was, one when I was a sophomore in college, one the first year after I graduated college, and then the two in 2013. That’s if I’m remembering all of them (beyond the ones we took when I was very small).

I’ve gotten to travel a good bit. I am thankful every day for the adventures I’ve gotten to go on because my dad was and still is a traveler.

But tomorrow we’re headed to Ireland which I have never really gotten to tour before. I spent four hours in the Dublin airport on one of the adventures, but that doesn’t count. I didn’t get to see anything other than the airport and what was right outside of the windows. I have never been to an airport with such incredibly friendly staff before though. That airport, by far, had the kindest, most patient airport employees I’ve encountered. Even the security and immigration type folks were amazing. I’m hopeful that the trip I’m about to make will just kind of build on that idea of Ireland for me for the most part (I know there are assholes in any group of people).

On an unrelated note, I’ve been rewatching Legends of Tomorrow. Well, initially watched the final episodes of season one since I skipped them the first go ‘round. The show was just such a struggle for me the first season. But now that I love it as much as I do—and I really do love it—I wanted to check out the stuff I’d missed. I thought I’d just skipped the end of the first season, but I also (apparently) hadn’t seen the first couple of episodes of the second season either. It was only when I started season two thinking I’d do a rewatch of it (and maybe season three as well if I can fit it in) for shits and giggles since I just finished re-watching Constantine that I realized that I’d never seen the first couple of episodes. I didn’t know how Nate joined the team, nor did I know how he got his superpowers. I mean, I’m sure that I saw the “previously on” but knowing me, I didn’t really pay attention and the information didn’t get stored.

Anyway, it was fun to watch those first couple of episodes and watch the team struggle to be a team. They’re so much more solid now. I’m going to miss Amaya and I really wish Kid Flash was going to stay, but I know the actor decided that he had other things he really wanted to pursue and I’m excited to see what he comes out with next.

But we all know it’s John Constantine I’m obsessed with.

I have so many things I need to do. Finish Librarians from like a year ago, catch up on the last five episodes of Wynonna Earp (it’s more like four, but still), the last four or five episodes of Killjoys, and probably a handful of other things too. I’m sure I’ll get there. I love Wynonna Earp and Killjoys. I’m going to be at the house by myself with the dog for four weeks or so which means I’ll have ample time to hog the TV and have on whatever I want. Granted the first two weeks won’t be much as far as doing anything. I’m going straight back to work after the trip and I’m supposed to work 11 days in a row. I have done stuff like this before, but I don’t think I’ve done it when I’m also jet lagged so I’m curious to see how this goes.

Not that I need to be thinking about that right now.

The problem with loving your job is that you end up thinking about it when you’d be ignoring the existence of a job you hate.

But oh, the point I wanted to mention was that after all that time I spent thinking that they were planning on bringing in John Constantine for Legends at the start of season three, I’m wondering if it actually went back further than that. Maybe it wasn’t a fully formed idea yet, but they brought John onto Arrow to put Sarah’s soul back in her body after she was brought back from the Lazareth Pit or whatever it’s called. They could have written that episode any way they wanted to and they could have brought John Constantine on any way they wanted to, but they very specifically wrote the story so that when they brought Sarah back (ostensibly to have her alive and available to do Legends of Tomorrow) it was John Constantine who fixed up her soul. They wrote Constantine into Oliver’s past so that they could call on Constantine rather than just having Constantine come into town chasing down one demon or another.

I don’t know, maybe they just wanted to have Constantine on and that was the plot line that mad the most sense (which I’m guessing is true) and it was just a happy coincidence that he had that tie to Sarah and since it was there, they decided to use it in Legends. But I still think that they’ve been hoping that they could make John Constantine a larger part of the DC universe for years. I’m sure there have been issues with rights and scheduling and such, but I’m thinking that someone worked really hard to make it happen. I know CBS gave/sold Supergirl to CW, but John Constantine was on NBC (granted who owns the rights isn’t always as clear cut as checking with station aired the show—something I find fascinating).

I’m wondering if it was long negotiations for the character not just to be leant to the CW. Plus, what I’ve been reading and seeing is leading me to believe that the writers are picking up a large part of the plot from the John Constantine show and where it left off, which I’m thinking might mean more negotiating than just letting them have the character for a couple of things here and there. I think CBS and the CW have some sort of partnership or are similarly owned or something and it was therefore pretty straightforward to move Supergirl to CW.

I think Midnight Texas is on NBC now and I find it kind of interesting that they renewed that show. I’m glad they did because I really enjoyed it and I’m looking forward to the next season, but it’s a lot like Constantine in a lot of ways (at least to me). Granted, there are more characters who are not morally ambiguous in Midnight Texas than there were in Constantine. But they’ve got queer characters, demons, angels, magic users, vampires, ghosts, and a host of other crazy creatures. As well as humans that are just plain evil. I feel like maybe they tried to do John Constantine too early. I pretty sure it started right around the time that Arrow and The Flash were taking off and I’m thinking they wanted to get in on the action (I suspect that Supergirl was the same kind of endeavor for CBS), but I’m thinking they didn’t quite know what they were doing—at least not yet. They hadn’t quite “gotten” what had pulled people in about those shows.

I don’t know.

I’m rambling when I should be going to bed. Yeah, I need to go to bed.