float_on_alright: don't ruin my story with your logic (keep your logic out of my stories)

 

My goals for Friday and Saturday (I originally posted them separately but meh) were:


  1. Find something to post to Becoming Writer Workshop. Recommend doing further edits to “Monster in Manhattan” story and posting the second draft.
    Did edits to “Monster in Manhattan” Story and posted it to the workshop group.

  2. Find six more contests and journals to send off to.
    As it turns out, I had a copy where I had already added more magazines so I only needed to add a few more to get to 20.

  3. Pick a writer to contact and get clear about the contact. Ask any necessary questions.
    Spoke with a writer about their personal essay piece and about submitting, etc.

  4. Give three people feedback on the workshop website.
    I did give more feedback to one person. Two more to go.

  5. Write letter to writer.
    I guess I thought I was going to pick a writer one day and actually write them as a goal separately. I ended up doing everything all to together in typical Kate fashion.

  6. Watching the video for, and start working on the next assignment in the LitMagLove class. There is no video. The assignment is to send a story to five different magazines. I’ll have to do that by the end of day Sunday. I’d like to do it tomorrow but the stuff I worked on today took me about 6 or 7 hours and I’ll be at the fellowship thing for too much of the day to be able to do that tomorrow. Especially since I need to do a few more edits to the story and to my base cover letter before I sent it.


Still, I really productive day and I’m pleased about that.


So, here’s what I have left to do this weekend:


  1. Give 2 more people feedback.

  2. Edit “Monster in Manhattan”

  3. Edit my cover letter.

  4. Figure out which other four magazines I’m submitting my story to since I’d already picked one.

  5. Rework my cover letter four times.

  6. Attempt to send my reworked cover letters to the correct magazines along with my story.


*Sighs Deeply*


float_on_alright: books who says you can't buy love (who says you can't buy love)
So what did I do tonight after dinner instead of adding my journals and contests to my lists or writing? I watched an episode of Pretty Little Liars, which, actually I’d already watched half of, so that really wasn’t that bad and I read the second half of a book I’d started when I was laying out at this beach this morning. I wish my Kindle kept track of how long it took me to read a book. I mean, I know I get distracted or interrupted while the book is open so it wouldn’t be perfect, but I’d really love to see how many approximate reading minutes it took me to read something. I know I could time myself, but I get too distracted. I’d forget to start the thing when I was reading or I’d forget to stop it when I had to put the book down to do something else. Amazon must have some of that information right? I mean, it tells you when you open the book how long it typically takes to read. Although, they are probably basing that on the idea that people typically read so many words (I think it’s like 350) per minute and then dividing the number of words in the book by that. Or maybe the number of pages decided by a minute per page (which I think is about average?). Great, now I really want to know what they base these things on. That’s a question for Google later. 

Tomorrow is Friday and I haven’t done any of the feedback pieces I need to do and I feel like there's another goal for the week that I set for myself that I have since forgotten. That happens sometimes, I set a goal on Monday and by Tuesday I’ve completely forgotten I’ve set it. I have, on more occasions than I’d like to admit, gone to check what I wrote on Monday for my goals to see if I’ve done any of it. After getting caught on Friday way behind on my goals on quite a few embarrassing occasions, I have tried to make a habit of checking the goal list on Wednesday to help me stay on track. This week at the beach I decided to watch XXX: Return of Xander Cage instead - you can judge me if you want but I’m having some seriously shippy feelings about some of the ladies and Ruby Rose. 

I watched something else recently that was giving me a lot of shippy feelings … Power Rangers maybe. Hmm. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll remember it later. I do love shippy feelings. 

Ohhhhh, you know it wasn’t something I was watching, it was something I was reading. I got the first issue of “Spell on Wheels” a few days ago. I don’t know how I hadn’t come across it yet, but it was a marvelous opening issue. I know there are only like 5 issues so far and I’m unsure if it’s continuing any further. I’m kind of annoyed I’m just now finding out about this thing. It’s about three witches who are friends and roommates who have some of their things taken from them and they have to go on a quest to get there stuff back. Soooo many shippy feelings. I’m looking forward to reading more of that. I also read some more Lumberjanes and I just love that series so, so much. 

So my goals for tomorrow are as follows:

Find something to post to Becoming Writer Workshop. Recommend doing further edits to “Monster in Manhattan” story and posting the second draft. 
Find six more contests and journals to send off to. 
Pick a writer to contact and get clear about the contact. Ask any necessary questions. 
Give three people feedback on the workshop website.

Goals for Saturday:

Write letter to writer. 
Watching the video for, and start working on the next assignment in the LitMagLove class. 

Goals for Sunday:

Work more on LitMagLove
File for unemployment

I’ve got the fellowship thing going on too so it’s going to be a busy weekend. I won’t be able to stay up all night and work on these goals either because I’ll have to be up around 8 or 8:30 Saturday and Sunday. Those aren’t terrible times to be up but it definitely means that I can’t stay up until 4am. It’s hard enough for me to stay awake through this stuff as it is, but it will get my mom off my back for a little while at least. 

I was logging my reading on my library’s summer reading program--they have a program for adults--and I saw that the “goal” for the summer was to earn 1,000 points for reading and other activities like volunteering. They have reading lists you can do too, but none of them particularly called to me. At any rate, I’m currently at a little over 3,000 points so I must’ve made that 1000 goal a bit a go. I know other adults have kids and don’t get summers off like I do so it isn’t like it’s hard for me like it can be for other people. Still, I have to laugh at myself because I finished two books today and listened to about 2 hours of another. I know there are people who read like that all the time. I wish I could speed read, but actually the rate at which I read a page is not much over average. I just spend so much time doing it that I end up reading a ton. 

I was going to go to bed early tonight so that I could wake up a little earlier tomorrow (and by “earlier”, I mean before 11am) to get started on my goals. It would be great if I could finish the Friday list and get started on the Saturday list tomorrow but we’ll see how that goes. I honestly cannot believe that tomorrow is Friday. These days have been going by so quickly! I’m looking forward to Wynonna for sure. And Killjoys, though I haven’t watched last week’s yet. Man, I have so many things I want to do! I know I’ll look forward to having my real paychecks again when I go back to work, but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to fit all the things I want to do in before we go back. 

float_on_alright: apologize in advance as I slowly go nuts (apologize in advance as I slowly go nuts)
 

So last night I had every intention of going to bed after I finished writing a big. I went upstairs, brushed my teeth, got into bed… and realized I had woken myself up a bit with the getting read part. So I thought I’d just listen to a bit more of my book Silver Silence by Nalini Singh. It was just after midnight and I figured I’d just listen for a few minutes. But see, the book was really, really good. I’ve been following the series for about five years now. I think the first book was published in 2006 but I didn’t find them until there was a sale on the Audible editions and I came across them by chance.

 

It’s interesting that with this series there were a few I didn’t love and the second most recent was a giant monstrosity that flipped back and forth between nearly every remotely significant character she’d ever written about in the series (that wasn’t dead, obvs) and was basically all these characters we’d been following for fourteen books and innumerable short stories, novellas, and extras having babies or obsessing about babies or thinking of having babies. It was A LOT OF BABIES. Which makes a certain amount of sense really. I mean how you can write romance books that take place over several years in the same “world” and not have at least some of them popping out babies? You can’t is the answer to that. It was hard to focus though because there were just so many perspectives. It was still good, but I was starting to wonder how much longer I was really going to be invested in the series/world - especially since she didn’t really have any gay characters.

 

HAHHHHHH. I stayed up until after 5am last night desperate to get to the end. And while the main characters of course get together and start their lives together, the book still managed to end on one MAJOR cliffhanger and a minor one or two. So I listened to a 16+ hour book in about a day and a half even with all the Father’s Day activities we did yesterday and the writing and editing I’ve been doing and my exhaustion. Obviously, I’m going to be fighting to get my hands on a copy of the next one as early as possible which will still, very likely, be at least a year from now.

 

She also added a couple of gay characters who look like they might get together. There’s a potential - in my opinion - for a whole book. I don’t know how likely it is that she’ll write a whole book about them but I’m crossing every part of my body in hopes of a novella dedicated to them. I mean she’s given them the similar build up to some of her other characters in past books who went on to get their own books but I just don’t want to get my hopes up too high. I’m so excited and thankful that they exist and them being gay is treated totally casually and their interest in each other is treated in a way that’s just so freaking cuuuuuute that I have to say I am ecstatic about things thus far. I would buy seven more copies of this book if it gets me more of these two. God, I loved it when we got a hint of them. They’re not the focus of course and you get lots of information about each of them separately from each other. One of them is a trusted “second” of the main male character who is a changeling (read shapeshifter) bear and the other is the brother of the main female character (who is a powerful psy). The bear is flirting with the psy who is pretending not to be interested (he’s totally blushing and verbally sparing with the bear) and it’s AMAZING.

 

I’m a little stressed about everything I need to do tomorrow - submit my story to the contest, work on my lit mag course work (I’m behind), file for unemployment, take my dad’s car to the shop for him, finish doing laundry, start looking for jobs to apply for to qualify for unemployment, and pick up some books from the library for dad. I feel like I’ve forgotten something which isn’t helping the slight panic attack happening in my chest right now. I’m thinking about going back on the Wellbrutrin for a bit to see if it eases the panic attacks a little. I’d rather not get back on the medication if I can help it. It messed with my period in a way that’s super annoying and I already have PCOS (a hormonal disorder that comes with all kinds of lovely extra risks) so I really hate making that worse. I also feel like I did an amazing job at kicking depression (I totally did) and I feel iike that means I can kick the shit out of the anxiety too.

 

Let me be clear, there is no shame in taking medication. There is nothing wrong with taking medication. But I grew up with a mom who called medicine “third aid” and never gave us medicine unless we were dying (or killing her with our complaints probably). It’s one of those things that just stuck with me. So now I have to decide if my anxiety is killing me (or making me whine enough to make someone else want to give me the medicine) or if this is still treatable in other ways.

 

The other thing about the panic attacks is that they’re also a sort of barometer for my actions. If I’m doing things that are making me scared, it’s because I’m doing things that really matter to me and I’m afraid of succeeding and I’m afraid of failing and I’m totally headed in the right direction. I honestly believe if there isn’t a least a part of me that’s scared of whatever it is that I’m doing, I shouldn’t waste a lot of time on doing it. I want that gauge and I feel like it’s possible I’d lose it on the medication. If the medication is doing it’s job, I really should lose those indicators. It’s complicated against.

 

I’m not sure I’m making any sense any more so, peace and love y’all.

float_on_alright: thor knocked over after jane hit him with the truck for the 2nd time (might thor ooops)

I was researching literary magazines today for my Lit Mag Love course which was kind of fun. In my adventures of writing and contests, I came across another contest that I loved the sound of. There was an entry fee (not uncommon) but there were different levels. At one level you could get access to a publisher’s feedback so I thought… well, that might be worth a shot. So, I sign up, I pay my fee and low and behold, not only is it a contest as I mentioned with feedback as promised it’s also a six week course that includes submitting a piece of work to those also in the group every week - or something like that. I was sort of confused. I woke up fairly early today so I could do the office hours for the Lit Mag Love group and so Dad and I could go to the pool for a bit (which was lovely) so I was still pretty sleepy. 

So yeah. I’ve managed to sign myself up for more homework. 

It’s okay though. It’ll be good practice, good motivation, and force me to come up with new stories and characters. 

The next few weeks are going to be crazy. The Lit Mag Love is a 6 week course that started last Monday. This other thing is a 6 week commitment - if I’m not mistaken - that I’ve started today. I still need to put something together for my DragonCon workshop. I’m hoping all this other stuff is going to help me with that though. 

Right, well, I've had a pretty busy day and I’m bushed. Not to mention, I have a shit ton I’m aiming to do this month. I need my rest. Wish me luck y’all!

float_on_alright: never let anyone treat you like a yellow starburts you're a pink starburst (never let anyone treat you like a yellow)
 
Since I’ve finished Wynonna Earp and my Mrs. Claus stories (Reb has kindly looked through my Mrs. Claus so it’s still in the editing process) I haven’t been sure what I wanted to work on next. I picked up working on a creepy story I started while I was working on the StoryADay challenge - it was one of the ones I liked the concept of from stories I wrote or started during those days. I have a little more written in it since I started it but it’s a creepy topic/story to me and since I’m holding down the fort with just the dog, I don’t want to work on that after dark. It’s one thing to work on it when it’s sunny and warm, but not this close to dark. 

So I don’t feel good working on that tonight since I’ll end up giving myself nightmares. I mean I’m hoping it means I’m writing a good story if I’m giving myself the creeps writing it. 

Does Stephen King get creeped out by his own stories, I wonder? I should read his “On Writing” book again. My mom actually bought that book for me when I was about 13 - 14 and I started talking about wanting to be a writer. She's such a good momma. Especially considering I’m pretty sure she hates Stephen King.

Not the point. I have a short romance story I really like but it’s super short and I don’t think it would be good for submitting to the Writer’s Market Competition. I would like to submit something to that but I am just not sure what I would want to send in. Maybe the horror story if I can finish and edit it in time. It’s due by something like the 30 or 31st of May so I don’t have a lot of time left. But I’m also trying to face my fears as far as submission and possible publication so it’s important for me to keep working forward. 

I do wanna say I had a wonderful day today. I spent several hours in the sun today - the pools had a party for kicking off the summer pool months and for the renovations at the clubhouse and clubhouse pool that I went to. They had a lot of fun games for the kids (not that adults weren’t allowed to play too - they were). They had a MC and everything. He played some good music and the games for the kids were pretty clever. I bet the parents were glad of the games because I’d bet money those kids were worn out after that afternoon at the pool. I spent 3 hours and change there. The sun always leaves me feeling a little drowsy. The dog and I also did a couple of hundredths shy of a mile and a half walking today which was fun. But meant more time in the sun. Basically, I’m sunburned and sleepy. Lol. 

Plus I was woken up several times this morning high was okay the second time but I was a little annoyed about the first. I did wanna say goodbye to my folks before they went off on their road trip, but they woke me up and it was almost 30 minutes before they actually left after that and they wanted me to help with stuff. I probably still would’ve gone back to sleep after that, but I got back in bed only to hear them come back because they’d forgotten something and since that was like the third time I’d been hauled out of bed I figured I’d just get up. It was still a nice morning. I watched an NCISLA and at breakfast before heading to the pool around noon. 

The pool was great as I mentioned. I did spend like an hour just surfing Facebook which I think I may have needed to spend most of today just unwinding. I feel like Facebook is such a waste of time but I was watching some funny videos and a couple of sweet ones so it wasn't just memes about people's political opinions and I have been working hard lately. I need to do better with the job I'm currently paid to do so that it will continue to take care of me until such time as I figure out how to make money writing. 

Anyway, I'm worn out. I've got a big to-do list for tomorrow so I had better get some sleep. Peace. 

float_on_alright: claudia wide eyed (claudia the eyes)
I don’t feel like it today. I just don’t. I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna. I’m tired and cranky and I want to go to bed. Actually, it’s not so much cranky as just a general sense of feeling like I’m tapped out. I was so tired today that half the time I felt like I couldn’t form words. I went through barrels of caffeine - like the kind of caffeine consumption they normally advise against. So much caffeine that at some point I had the shakes. 

I did feel hugely proud of myself for a couple of things today. I had a meeting with Johnny about my unrebooked schools for fall and Scott said I did really good. Those are normally the kinds of meetings that freak me out and I was a little nervous beforehand, but it was like this sense of calm and composure just fell over me as we were going through my schools. Maybe it was because I really have gotten a feel for my territory but I think a lot of it has to do with how much better of a place I’m in emotionally right now. It’s just such a massive difference. 

I think meditating and maybe doing some yoga too is a big help. My mind felt so calm today at that meeting. 

Or maybe I was just too tired to expend the extra energy on worrying and stressing. 

I don't know. I guess I felt really in the flow and in tune. He pointed out that I had the lowest rebooking rate for fall of the teams and that in the past would’ve stressed me the hell out and put me off and sent me into a tizzy of stress, worry, defensiveness, and general fear. Instead, it just didn't even phase me. I knew where I was and just said, I think that’s right. I admitted two of the things that had contributed, one of which was because of a misunderstanding I had and I admitted that but without feeling like some sort of huge failure or fear. I had such a sense of calm and purpose. 

I hope to carry that into more and more, I really do. I just hope it wasn’t because I'm as literally too tired to stress. Although, I’m not sure that I’ve ever been so tired that I haven’t had the energy to stress or worry before. I don’t think that’s a thing. 

In this moment, I am resentful of myself for saying that I was going to write a story every day. I did think that I was going to give myself one day off each week from story writing because 31 stories felt like too much or too stressful or that there would be a day I didn’t have the time or energy for it. 

The thing is, now that I’ve been at it for a little bit, I feel compelled to keep going and frustrated in my lack of creative flow, I feel like “taking a break” at this point could set me back from the habits I’m trying to build, it feels like I’d be letting myself down from a goal, and more and more I believe that it’s the moment when you most don’t want to do something that you absolutely should do it. I didn’t want to exercise earlier but I did anyway and it was good. 

And I don't want to negotiate with myself. I want to set a goal and stick with it because I’ve decided to do it. Once you’ve decided to do something negoatiting isn't an option on the table any more, that’s the point. 

I guess my point is that I’m going to have to go write a story. 

 
float_on_alright: claudia wide eyed (claudia the eyes)
 I am super tired this evening. I had a busy day and didn’t leave until late and then I had errands after work and then it was 8 when I sat down to dinner so my “schedule” is off too. I’m getting to the point that I’m really too tired to write with any particular clarity. I almost feel like I’ve been dosed with Benadryl or something. 
 
I’m about 100 words away from my goal for the evening so obviously I’m nearly there but I can barely see the screen for my eyes watering and such. 
 
The good news is that I think I’m closing in on the end of my Wynonna Earp fic. I don’t think I’ll tie everything up in a bow because I like that the idea that there it still more work to do (which feels authentic for the story) since that’s the way TV episodes tend to run. 
 
I honestly don’t even think I’m making sense any more and I have got to be close enough to call it a day, so I’m going to go ahead and pass out. Good luck out there y’all. 
 
float_on_alright: not lazy just energy saving (not lazy just energy saving)
 
I have decided that any reviews I write on the writing website I will count towards my review goal and anything I write for my books/goodreads/netgalley I'm going to count towards my writing goal. That probably sounds a little weird, but I want to do a few reviews for the site specifically but those are different than things I publish for the general public. I guess to me the reviews on goodreads, etc. are me stating general opinions and impressions of the story as well as whether or not I would recommend it. Reviews on the writing website on the other hand, won't be seen by the general public and are more in line with editing than with writing because they do include compliments they also include constructive criticism and specific suggestions. My intent when I'm working on them is very different. Even the way I read the things I'm reviewing is different. Things I read for goodreads I mostly read for fun or for self improvement. Things I read for the website I read because I want to help other writers in their pursuit of enhancing their writing skills. 

This difference feels good to me. I didn't divide the reviews like this last month and it left me feeling a little off balance. Since I've written a goodreads review tonight, I'm not going to extensively write elsewhere. I would like to read a little more but I think I'm going to just have to pass out. Peace! 
float_on_alright: don't ruin my story with your logic (keep your logic out of my stories)
 
I didn’t feel like writing tonight. I didn’t want to write. I wanted to read a little and pass out or possibly just pass out or possibly read the rest of my book I’m only 35% into and then take a nap before work. But while I do hope to go to bed soon and a little early for me, I’m not going to skip writing tonight. I’m not. 
 
There are several reasons for that. One is that when you’re building a habit the only way to make something truly habitual is to do it even when you don’t want to it. Do it over and over. When you want to, when you don’t want to, when you’re too tired, when you're bored, when you’re annoyed etcetera. And I want writing to be a habit again. 
 
I’ve been struggling a little emotionally lately and I’m trying to get back “in the flow”. Part of it is that I think I need to make my bed time a little earlier as I still don’t think I’m getting quite enough sleep on the regular. Part of it is that things are getting busy at work and that adds a level of stress that I’m still working on coping with. 
 
Understand that while my job is stressful and I got chewed out half of last Friday and a good bit yesterday, I don’t really have a stressful job - comparatively speaking. I’ve had jobs that were more stressful and I made half as much (and with benefits that weren’t as good or just didn’t exist). Anyway, I’m just feeling a little discouraged and I while I’m working on a number of things to help me get back on track one of the things that I know contributed to my recent deep depressions was not writing at all. No way can I let myself step back into that cycle. I won’t feel better tomorrow if I don’t write today. 
 
I found some journal topics to try to help me a little so that I would at least have a topic and I found the following quote:
 
“What in your life is calling you? When all the noise is silenced, the meetings adjourned, the lists laid aside, and the wild iris blooms by itself in the dark forest, what still pulls on your soul? In the silence between your heartbeats hides a summons, do you hear it? Name it, if you must, or leave it forever nameless, but why pretend it is not there?” — The Terma Collective
 
For all that I don’t feel like writing - well, for all I FELT like I didn’t want to write tonight, that thing that calls to me in the quiet it is writing and I’ve known that for more than half my life. Why in the hell should I ever not be writing if that’s true? It’s okay if it’s a journal entry or a book review or a note to a friend or a story or a poem or shit the description of my favorite cereal. I don’t care what I’m writing, as long as I keep doing it. 
 
I’ve been reading a lot of cool articles and one of them was talking about how your brain is the product of not only general genetics but also of millennia of evolution centered around attempting survival and procreation. Your brain evolved to help you survive. Which, awesome because it’s given us amazing things, but, it’s always going to tell you to play it safe. Your ancestors on a whole did not survive by prancing through the forest or rashly facing off against predators - nay, nay your ancestors survived by hiding in the cave cautiously waiting to see if there was a mountain lion on the hunt (or whatever). My point is, your brain wants you to be safe so it’s always going to tell you not to task the risk. 
 
Risk, in the majority of our biological history meant almost certain and probably painful death. Of course your brain wants to prevent that. 
 
The other thing I love that I read recently, and I may have mentioned it in an earlier post but it’s sticking with me is that all your thoughts are merely suggestions. They are not law. They are not absolute truth. Most of our thoughts are not even our own - not really. They’re things programmed into us by society and our parents. I wouldn't have a ton of self conscious thoughts about having facial hair if society hadn’t constructed and perpetuated the ridiculous notion that women don’t have, and shouldn’t have hair except for like eyebrows and on the top of their heads. Shit, most of the hairlessness of women in today's society was invented so that razor companies could sell more razors - they’d taken their business as far as they felt they could go just selling to men I guess. I find it disturbing. 
 
One of these “thoughts” I recently over threw for myself was the idea that “I can’t wear dark lipstick and that red lipsticks don’t look good on me”. My mother hates dark lipsticks and heavy reds and she basically pounded into me awful they looked on me because she doesn’t like them ON ANYONE. All that time avoiding bright red lipsticks I coveted because my mom doesn’t find that look appealing? I wear a lot of bright red or dark lipsticks now. Oh there have been some I’ve found that don’t compliment my skin tone. For example I got one of the “Bold” colors - maybelline I think? - and it was this gooorrgeous deep purple. Unfortunately, it was too much of a “cold” color to go well with my complexion. But I have some other purple colors that are more red based than blue that have a warmer undertone that are just as dark and bold but look fantastic on me. 
 
I know that probably seems like a really minor example and maybe it is but don’t we all have to start somewhere? I need to face things like “I’m no good with money” so that I can turn them into “I struggled with money in the past but I’m kicking ass at it now”. There are so many long held beliefs that spin thoughts in my head that need to be seriously fact checked. Sometimes though, you have to fight the small battles first. 
 
I know I’m a long way from where I started with this and my eyes are getting all droopy so I’m going to stop here, but I imagine all these things stem from themes that I’ll be revisiting soon. 
 
Side note, I passed another module exam today but I’m still working to make sure I have a solid grip on at least most of the signs that were introduced in the section before I move on. 
 
Night y’all.
 
float_on_alright: kate bishop with her head on a desk in exasperation (asdf)
 

I fought sleep for too long last night and while I did sleep in, I didn’t get quite as much as I think I could use so I really need to be headed to bed soon. I sat down a few times throughout the day to do some writing and other than editing last night catastrophes I haven’t written anything. I was productive - my bathroom looks awesome. It got a good decluttering and a deep cleaning. That felt really good. And I learned a little sign language - mostly started practicing counting and the alphabet "song".

I do need to write a “Thank you” letter to Google Drive and the “restore previous version” option because without it I would have lost not only the 500 - 600 words I wrote in my journal last night but also 13 pages of my Wynonna Earp fanfic and I was devastated when I thought I’d lost it. I was absolutely beside myself that all that work was gone especially since that was my second attempt but I had deleted the original version since I’d pulled everything I wanted from it already. The story’s beginning was just starting to flow in a way that I liked it and I’d just written part of a scene that will happen later in the story than everything else I have written so far but that I was excited to get down “on paper”. I didn’t think I was going to be able to rewrite it properly and my heart was just broken.


I know I should probably have copies saved multiple places but I tend to have a difficult time with that when it comes to things I’m actively working on because updating just gets well. When it comes to things like resumes, I am pretty good at backing those up, but again if it’s something I have in progress keeping which version is the most recent straight and which ones need to be updated just tends to mess me up. Well, I guess the point is, thank you Google.


And also, thank God I decided to search to see if there was a way to restore my documents because I could’ve just written it off and I’d be sitting here crying on my keyboard.


We were supposed to have family coming to visit tonight but traffic and conspired to make it so that driving the two hours out of their way to visit us on their way back to Maryland just didn’t work. I told mom that we could go visit them up there over the summer and that we’d just have to work around my unemployment meeting - whenever that is. I don’t think that will be a big deal. It made her so happy and it’ll be a nice a trip.


I think tomorrow I’d like to spend some time working out what my goals for April are going to be. I want to keep writing but I have editing to do so I can post that soulmates story (I have about half of it edited I think, or at least close to it) and I am working on that sign language course and I want to make sure I dedicate a good amount of time to that since it’s self guided but I have to have it completed with the majority of the exams passed within 60 days of starting it (I started it the night before last).


But yeah, I think that’s a tomorrow project. Peace y’all.

float_on_alright: take my advice i'm not using it (take my advice)
This was the journal entry from last night that I deleted instead of posted last night:

I am exhausted. This week was crazy as hell and today was like busy if it decided to take amphetamines at work. I had one customer who was really upset about some stuff but otherwise the day was really good and I’d rather focus on that. Being busy meant that I was on the phone about the most I’ve been on the phone in a single day since the beginning of the year and I ended up having some really good conversations and that always makes me happy. I was talking to this principal that was enthusiastic and receptive to ideas and that’s just the best in my line of work.


But what I am most excited about is the Grimm season finale. I spent most of it incredibly stressed and VERY UPSET with the writers because HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME???? But then the end was so good and made me happy and I was just so, so pleased. They didn’t let me down! I’ll definitely want to watch the end again though I have no idea how much of the rest of it I can manage because like I said - STRESSFUL. But THE END! Oh gosh. I’m just so very happy about it.


I also watched the season finale of Sleepy Hollow. I don’t know if it will be back after this season. I loved, loved, LOVED Nicole Beharie and I was devastated to see her go but I did end up enjoying several of the new characters they brought in. The plot was a little hokey (more so than the other seasons) but I was shipping the hell out of Jake and Alex and they had such a lovely moment in the finale. They definitely did weird shit with Molly, but I ended up liking it and the way the Witness “mantle” sort of shifted/sort of didn't was interesting to me. The very end when they reveal the next “issue” was, to my mind, a smart move. They didn’t 100% resolve things. Crane’s son is out there and still the Horseman of War but they had a moment which was nice and Crane definitely will have to find a way to get out of his deal with The Devil at some point. But the end had a sense of hopefulness that I don’t think other season finales in the show have had. If the show does come back they have a place to pick up the plot but if they don’t the last episode leaves you hopeful for the future.


In some ways it reminds me of “Gone with the Wind”. So the movie and the book end with Rhett and Scarlett not together but Scarlett is so determined that she's going to get him back that you feel like she is going to figure it out. Scarlett, while not always likable or admirable, is one of the most determined characters in literature. Everything she’s put her mind to in the book thus far she’s pretty much gotten (with the exception, perhaps, of getting to marry Ashley) and you know that she’s going to get Rhett back. That’s how I felt about the Sleepy Hollow finale. Like they conquer whatever was thrown at them.

float_on_alright: kate bishop with her head on a desk in exasperation (asdf)
 
I was able to do some more work on my room today - big stuff like rearranging furniture and vacuuming the shit out of places that haven’t seen light in 10 years and probably won’t see light for another decade! I haven’t gotten everything arranged perfectly yet but the new flow of the room is definitely starting to move and it’s lovely. When I say “flow”, I don’t mean that in a Feng Shui way - well actually I don’t know anything about that so maybe that doesn’t even bare mentioning. 

After all the moving around furniture and vacuuming which followed a day on the job, I do have to say I am a little bit sleepy. A lot of me is a bit sore and tired because I have been spending a lot of time changing my entire life so I feel like I’m justified in being a little sleepy. Actually, I don’t think sleepy is the right word because I don’t feel remotely sleepy right now. Right now I feel physically spent but I feel emotionally light and mentally buoyant. I guess that’s a side effect of feeling like you’re moving in the right direction for your life. 

I’m the one asked to check on things like cable bills and special promotions which makes sense but I also am not a big fan. In fact, in the past I would’ve take three weeks just to work up the nerve to call about information. Today I was able to call - first day with a flyer in front of me so I’m really proud of that. There is a lot with me that I really think is moving forward right now and I’m just really excited about it. 

I think the day is catching up with me. I’m definitely starting to fade! 

There’s so much more I want to talk about and say but I think I’m going to have to forgive myself right now and just rest. I still have a lot more to do on my room (I have probably 85% of the job done, maybe even 90%, but I’ve been working on this job for at least a few weeks now). 

Night y’all. 

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (get up survive go back to bed)
1) Plan the Wilmington Avengers Adventure (aka going to Wilmington, NC to hang out with my friend Jason and going to see the Avengers). 

Everything is pretty much in order at least as far as coordinating with my friend. I had to compromise on how detailed the plans are because of the friend I'm going to see, but as I made real effort, discussed everything fairly thoroughly, and have the big details hammered out, I'm going to say that this is completed. 

On top of that, I'm seeing a midnight show with a friend in town and I've already printed off the tickets for that. 
2) Get new sheets.
I've been sleeping on these new sheets for a while now and I have got to say that I really love them. They're pretty and wonderfully comfortable. 
3) Catalog what comics I have in which series in a way that is mobile so that I don't pick up duplicates. 
I did this. I worked ridiculously hard on this. Then something happened to my iPod. I didn't lose any of my purchases because I had everything backed up (it was like an accidental software reset - don't ask, I don't know what I did, but yes I'm sure it was my fault so don't you dare go bad mouthing my iPod as I get a little violent over my Shiny! okay?) but all the comics I'd so painstakingly added were lost. 
 Since that worked out so badly, I couldn't make myself input the information again. I did, however, find a website ( stashmycomics.com ) which I made myself an account for. It's not as mobile as the app or as I'd like it to be, but it is a good start. I can also download an Excel sheet of all my comics from the site which is helpful. 
4) Start Cataloging my books. 

I started over with this too. Long story, but the app I was using kept adding the wrong title, the wrong author, or just adding 18 of a single book. It was annnnooying. I went shopping for a new one and when I found it, I started the project over. I have 172 of my books cataloged so far which includes the books from my upstairs closet and the plastic drawer thing out in the hallway. 



5) Take the printers and the old cameras to Best Buy to be recycled. 
I was very sad to find out that the one near my house is one of the ones that will be closing :/ but yes, goal completed. 
6) Write 15,000 words. 

Made my word count (just barely), but with everything going on that has been going on (ugghhh I don't even want to talk about it), I'm seriously okay with that. 

7) Finish at least one story from my [livejournal.com profile] avengers_tables and if possible two as that will complete the table. 
I'm very excited to say that I did complete my stories and finish the table. It felt really great. 
8) Write a story for [livejournal.com profile] love_bingo
I have actually finished four stories for this and I am currently working on the final one I need to shout Bingo! I think once I've got the traditional Bingo! I may also do some of the extra things from it. 
9) Get and read my book club book. 
I read about half the book before I realized I really wasn't a big fan. I did skim the rest though, so I could say that I read it. I just didn't really care for it. 

In addition, I've been quite social-able and read a couple more books for my "Alphabet Challenge". All in all I'd say that even though this was kind of a rough month for me, I was at least productive. 


Hopefully I'll post May's goals tomorrow, but it might be a few days because of all the stuff I've got going on. For now I will bid you adieu. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (my muse made me)
Title: Thiever of iPods aka Dad
Characters: Darcy Lewis, Phil Coulson, Jane Foster, Erik Selvig
Summary: After all Jane's research is taken, Darcy calls her dad.
Verse: Marvel Movie Universe. / Thor 2011
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Small ones for Thor the Movie and one for my story "Pain in the... Head" as this is a sort of prequel 
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: *I make no money from this and I mean no disrespect or harm. I'm also pretty sure that I am not damaging profits for those who do own the rights in anyway.*


[livejournal.com profile] love_bingo Prompt - Fatherhood


AO3

 Theiver of iPods aka Dad


Darcy has some very choice words for her father. )

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (hawkeye is awesomes)

1) Write something and keep track of the daily word count - ish. 

- Totally updating my word count excel sheet every day. I plug in the story word count at the end of the day and it - viola! - tells me what I've written (I've written a little over 12,300 words thus far this month and today is in fact the first day I have not written at least some in one of my stories).

2) Finish something I'm writing, dammit.

- I finished first and second parts of "You're to Blame" (second part currently in the Beta/Editing phase).
- I finished MASH which is a coda of sorts to my "Truth or Dare" series (also currently in the Beta/Editing phase)
- I have begun going over other stories in hopes that one of them will poke back at me so I can work more on them. I realized have nearly 9,000 words in story which I would one day like to finish especially since I have already spent so much freaking time on it.

3) Read/Finish two books from the "Alphabet Challenge" 

- One book down! Will be updating my list soon.

If you're interested in what I'm doing click here.
If you'd like to see what I've read so far, you can see that here

4) Do some tidying up in the room. 

- I dusted!
- I threw out all the trash from my couch (yes, there is a small couch in my room - it is mostly used as a way station for my books, bags, and clothes).
- Organized all my stuff for doing my taxes. 
- Got all the books onto shelves or in crates and boxes (aka off the couch and floor).

5) Don't be a complete recluse. 

- Went to see "The Woman in Black" with friends and had drinks after. 
- Spent Thursdays at Fellowship (okay not necessarily ambitious socially, but an evening out of the house counts).
- The 29th will be Book Club, so there's that with the gang. 
- Going to see Jaymie, though this may not be until the first of March, so we'll see if this counts (or not).
- I feel like there's more and I've just forgotten it. 

6) Don't spend money I don't actually have. 

- This appears to be going okay. I mean, there's a lot of work I need to do on the car and I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for it. But hey, so far, so good. 

Side notes: Still obsessed with Jeremy Renner, looking into actually reading comic books not just watching movies "based" on them, I NEED more Cho/Summer in my life (which may or may not result in the search for fanfic) and free episodes on iTunes FTW.

Dear Apple

May. 22nd, 2011 07:53 am
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Be yourself! Well...)

I recently dropped my iPod nano in some water which subsequently caused the battery to no longer charge. If I plug it into the computer or hook it up to a power source it does still work but that completely voids the reason for having the mp3 player in the first place. I considered getting a new nano but the thing is tiny and i like watching videos on the player and it just didnt seem feasible on this generation of nano (damn you apple) so that was out. I considered the iPod original or whatever it is, but honestly it wasn't much better screenwise. So I broke down and bought the iPod Touch. I've been playing with it and while I wasn't intially sure, I have to say I think I'm really going to like it - I mean here I am leaving work at 8am leaving a livejournal post via an app. With apps for things like LJ and Goodreads along with sport scores and twitter, its hard not to fall a little in love. Also makes emails a hell of a lot easier to keep up with. I mean dang.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (appealed to the writer)
For the month I needed at least 6,200 for the whole month, but I decided to add another 1000 as things have been going so well.

4100 / 7200 (56.94%)



Out of those 7200 - 1000 need to be in Fairytale AU. So I've got a measure for that too :) I just love measures!

900 / 1000 (90.00%)
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (blinking cursors mock me)
 
Sooo, I didn't get the final chapter of "Truth or Dare" finished in time, but it is nearly done. 

Writo De Mayo was going quite well, at least until tonight. I'm stuck, I need two hundred words and to go the fuck to bed, but well, here I am, up after 12am when I need to be up at 6am yammering about nothing and not getting anything written. Shit. Okay running away again. Expect a progress report soonish. :)
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (she's nutty as squirrel poo)

My second [livejournal.com profile] gsd_rtfn week was a success! Fabulous news. Now, when May starts, I'm going to be working nearly exclusively (that's my goal anyway) on a fic I started... oh probably two months ago? -  which I thought was going to be a simple, straight forward, quick, cute AU one shot. That does not seem to be the case. Now, this is no novel (at least I don't think it will be, if it does turn out to bed one I don't know how I'll ever manage to edit it), but it has gotten much longer than expected and I really don't think it's anywhere near complete. I have to figure out exactly how the ending is going to work too. I have the general idea, but the there's a lot of technicalities I haven't quite got figured out yet. My point (I'm loopy, exhausted, and my eyes are going crossed so please forgive me) is that, starting May 1st, the majority of my writing time will be dedicated to making that story work as a unit (I have loads of parts written that need to be connected) which means I won't have a lot of time for my other stories. Because that is the case, my goal is to have Truth or Dare Part 5 ready for the editor's desk by the time I go to bed on the night of April 30th/ the morning of May 1st. 

At this point my eyes are too tired to focus very well so editing this/reading over this to see if it makes sense is nigh impossible. Plus I really can't be bothered. Sorry for that. Maybe I'll fix it tomorrow, but probably not. 

Night ladies and gents. 

P.S./Note to Self: It is probably not a good thing that you prioritize your "to write" goal over all the other things on your "to do" list. Some days I wonder how you manage to get to work. 

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