float_on_alright: clint doesn't want spoilers (clint doesn't like spoilers)
I was not even a little bit in the mood to write today. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything today if I’m honest. Well, anything except read. I finally got to the book I’d been wanting to get to in the series and it was everything I’d hoped it would be. *Happy Sigh* 

On the other hand, I’ve been feeling a bit miserable. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t written anything new or if I’m feeling like I’ve gotten in over my head with a few of the things I’ve signed up for over the last six months or so (possible since I’ll now have regularly scheduled accountability and mastermind calls possibly for the rest of my life and I honestly don’t know how that happened to me), or maybe because for the first time in months I didn’t have anything immediately pressing and I didn’t know what to do with myself, or if maybe I’m just hormonal (that’s certainly possible too). 

I don’t feel like I thought I would feel having finished the Lit Mag Love course though I think it’s largely because I’m afraid of what comes next. Part of the deal was that you would get her help until such a time as you get published in one of the journals you thought would do well for your work. Which means there’s a high probability that one of my stories will, in the next year or so, get published in a journal somewhere. Which, dear God, what was I thinking? I mean, I know what I was thinking. And I know that I do actually want to get published. I know that I do, but the idea of it is terrifying. 

And that is probably why I’ve been miserable and wallowing for a large part of today. The idea of successfully getting something I wrote in a journal is terrifying. I mean, I’m likely to be rejected for a while. I’m likely going to need to do a lot more work writing a lot more stories before I get there, but it actually feels like there’s a real chance I could get there. If I'm honest, there’s one journal that I think my story would really be suited for that I sent it to. I had only planned to send my story to just that journal but I don’t have enough other things ready to be able to submit other stories other places. 

I know I’ve already talked about the five submissions thing so I won’t get back into that for right now but I guess I just really think that one journal should take my story. Which means I know I’ll be frustrated, sad, and disappointed if they’re not interested. I know I can’t take stuff like that personally. I really, really do. And I know that my writing needs a lot of work so I should just remember that this is part of the learning process but I know there will be a moment when I’ll be hurt. But, I handled it when my Mrs. Claus story got rejected and I’ll handle it when it this one does too. I’m just hopeful that this one is closer to being the kind of story journals will say yes than the last one. And that the next one will be closer. And the rejections will simply be opportunities to make my stories better, nothing more and nothing less. 

Granted I was in a decent mood until mom wanted me to leave the house - I mean, I had to put on clothes including a boob prison. I just wore a sports bra which is slightly less aggravating, but I still wasn’t happy about having to “people” today. I just really, really didn’t want to people today. Not that the people we peopled with weren’t lovely. I just didn’t want to do it. I need to make myself a general schedule for the rest of the summer so that I’m productive every day in a way that feels good to me. I was overwhelmed productive the last few days and that didn’t feel good and then today I wasn’t remotely productive. I mean, I washed a few dishes and I listened to that book. I know listening to a fourteen hour book (on a 1.25 setting) in about 23 hours is sort of productive but I know if I don’t work on my projects over the next two and half weeks, I’ll be mad at myself for “wasting” the time. Not to mention that I really do have to have that stuff put together for the DragonCon writing workshop by August first. And actually I’d like to have it done before I go visit my friend Casey the last weekend of this month (good grief, where does the time go?) which is only like 15 days away. That’s two weeks and a tiny bit. 

Seriously, where does the time go?

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
I’ve been staring at my little phone screen playing games for several hours while listening to my book, which after hours on the computer the last few days and a lack of sleep has left them tired and a little sore. I shouldn't have strained them with that tiny screen and all those tiny Mah Jong tiles, ugh. 

I am proud of myself though because I think I made it through all the coursework and I definitely did all five of the necessary work applications for the week and I’ve still had time to read. Goodness, it’s nice being off. I know I only have a few weeks left, I’ll be back to work three Monday’s from now, but I intend to thoroughly enjoy the time off I have left. I’d like to spend time at the pool here and do a lot of reading. I hope to write as well. My brain has been in editing mode for the most part for the last week or so and that makes it hard for me to switch to creation mode writing wise. Since I’ve submitted my story to a bunch of places, I really can’t do anything else with it until it comes back to me I created a spreadsheet so I could keep track of where it was submitted. I'd hate to end up submitting it to the same journal by accident or something else similarly sucky. 

I have no idea what will happen with it or what I hear back but I’m sure that it will be good experience regardless. Rejection is part of writing and the earlier I learn that the better. 

I don’t understand why, almost a week later, I still hear fireworks going off. I mean this is ridiculous. The puppy is barking up a storm over it and I can't even be mad at her. How is she supposed to know that no one is trying to blow up the neighborhood? Plus I’m sure there are a ton of dogs barking out there… yeah, I think I hear one now… so she’ll definitely have to respond to that. Poor thing. And poor mom because I know she’ll have a hell of a hard time sleeping through that. 

Anyway, my plan is to write 4000 new words this week so I’ll definitely need to spend some time focusing on being creative. I’ve got a prompt book that I think I might try and I’m also thinking about picking up where I left off in “The Artist’s Way” since I know there are prompts in there as well. If I remember correctly, she recommended reading the book all the way through before starting on the activities so I may stick with the prompt book for now. It’s got 3 prompts per day for 366 days so there should be plenty there. 

I can’t decide if I want to go through the prompts methodically or if I want to jump around and try random things. I’m usually a jump around randomly kind of person but I’m thinking of going through them methodically to push myself. Sometimes I skip prompts because they don’t inspire me or what have you, but I think it could be really good for my creative muscles to at least do some free writing with everything in there, to really work to pull out something even if nothing comes to mind initially. Plus it’s a eBook so it would probably be easier to keep track of what I have and have not done if I went in order. I could jump to locations or pages and highlight the things I’ve done but it’s not like I can physically flip through pages and put my finger on a random prompt. 

But not tonight. Tonight I am going to listen to more of my book (I finished one and am now onto the next). I’m really anxious to get to the 6th one. I’m really enjoying the 5th one so far (it may be my favorite so far, though that’s hard to say for sure). I had picked up the sixth one and started reading it and I was loving it but then I realized that there was a ton of stuff I’d missed and if I was going to have any hope of really keeping up with the side plots, giant cast of characters, several different pantheons of gods, all the different countries and territories as well as understand the history of the two characters the book focuses on, I was going to need to read the other ones first. The series has been building these two up for the last like four books so I’m glad that I went back. Not to mention that I’ve enjoyed the books so far. All of them have had huge amounts of plot happening like so I think I would’ve gotten lost if I’d tried to just keep going. I mean I read the first two about four or five years ago so I don’t remember them perfectly but I remembered enough to be able to follow the third one well. 

Plus, they’re all so funny anyway. There was no point in not reading them when I’m enjoying them so well. I’m not sure why I didn't continue on reading them after I picked up the first two. Though I think at the time the level of violence and gore was just too much for me, for whatever reason. Granted, there's probably more of a difference between 26 - 27 year old me than 31 year old me than I cognitively recognize because I'm still making a lot of the same dumb mistakes and in a lot of the same spirals, but that’s not something I particularly want to examine right this moment. I’ll probably never want to but it’s probably something I should make myself do at least a little of before I go back to work. But again, not tonight. Tonight I’m going to read. 

float_on_alright: not lazy just energy saving (not lazy just energy saving)

So to qualify for unemployment I have to apply for jobs and I just so don’t want to. I’ve been working pretty hard with all my stories and online classes and errands. I slept pretty late today. I suspect I was a little worn out. I’m not particularly a morning person and I’ve been up late and up at an almost reasonable hour the last few days. I’ve been awake by 9:30 - 10am which I know is not “early” but it can be for me. I usually need a 10 - 12 hour night every now and then and last night seems to have been the night. I’m still sleepy today. It might be the rain too. Rain often makes me kind of sleepy. 

I’ve been terribly unmotivated today. I’m sleepy and lazy and just terribly uninterested in getting anything done. Don’t feel like writing, don’t feel like applying for jobs. I just want to read books and rewatch the new episodes of Wynonna Earp. 

I did two hours at the library today because I had a lot going on this weekend with Father’s Day but since I’m off from work, I might as well make it up. I’ll be able to do next Sunday too but the week after I probably won't be able to do it. And there’s another weekend or two that I’ll have things going on or will be visiting friends out of town. Plus, that’s two hours I can listen to books and ignore people for the most part which was great.

I need to write too. I need to finish this next chapter in my story and figure out where I’m going with the whole thing. I also need to work on my Mrs. Claus story since that’s the only thing I could even begin to use as my story for my Lit Mag Love course. 

Further, I need to provide feedback for my fellow workshop people. *Sigh* I feel like I’ve bitten off far more than I can chew and I just realized I missed a live video I wanted to watch. Argh, I hope it stays up long enough for me to get to view it. 

I feel like sometimes what you really need is a break. Sometimes you make yourself believe you need a break because you want to procrastinate doing something you don't want to do. I know I don’t want to apply for jobs or write or really do much of anything and now I’m stuck trying to figure out if I really need a break like I kind of feel like I do or if I’m just trying to put off something I'm not keen on doing. 

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (save the world before bed Primeval)
Phone Call

Customer: Do you have ______ Elementary's Yearbook?

Meg: I'm sorry, what are you looking for?

Customer: ______ Elementary School yearbook from last year.


I suppose it never hurts to check...
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (save the world before bed Primeval)
Phone Call

Customer: Do you have ______ Elementary's Yearbook?

Meg: I'm sorry, what are you looking for?

Customer: ______ Elementary School yearbook from last year.


I suppose it never hurts to check...
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (die hard star thingy)
But I like it better on its own.

"Are you an angel?"


Hehehehe, no, no I am not.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (die hard star thingy)
But I like it better on its own.

"Are you an angel?"


Hehehehe, no, no I am not.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Hamlet's dear LJ)
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(If I have to work):

1. Alarm sounds. I turn it off.

2. Second Alarm sounds - I hit the snooze button.

3. Five minutes later the alarm goes off again so I reset it for ten more minutes.

4. Alarm sounds again and I very resentfully turn on the light beside my bed, but hit the snooze button as I cannot be sure I won't "accidentally " fall back to sleep.

5. Eventually drag self out of bed, and walk into closet where I stare at my clothes without seeing them for an unknown amount of time where I am not convinced I'm conscious.

*Some times this unconscious period of time occurs in the shower rather than the closet, depending on whether or not I showered before bed.

6. Dress, brush teeth, put on deodorant, find something I can eat in the car such as a cereal bar and run out to my car, because I should have left ten to fifteen minutes before and will likely be five to ten minutes late for work.

(If I don't have to work)

1. Check clock to decide if an appropriate amount of time has passed since I went to bed. If it has been less than 10 hours, attempt to go back to sleep.

2. Once I'm officially awake, lay in bed and try to guess what the weather is like even though I cannot see through my very thick/heavy red curtains.

3. Get out of bed, put on slippers.

4. Find cereal bowl.

5. Place self in front of TV and turn on the laptop where I do not move for approximately two hours.

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Hamlet's dear LJ)
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(If I have to work):

1. Alarm sounds. I turn it off.

2. Second Alarm sounds - I hit the snooze button.

3. Five minutes later the alarm goes off again so I reset it for ten more minutes.

4. Alarm sounds again and I very resentfully turn on the light beside my bed, but hit the snooze button as I cannot be sure I won't "accidentally " fall back to sleep.

5. Eventually drag self out of bed, and walk into closet where I stare at my clothes without seeing them for an unknown amount of time where I am not convinced I'm conscious.

*Some times this unconscious period of time occurs in the shower rather than the closet, depending on whether or not I showered before bed.

6. Dress, brush teeth, put on deodorant, find something I can eat in the car such as a cereal bar and run out to my car, because I should have left ten to fifteen minutes before and will likely be five to ten minutes late for work.

(If I don't have to work)

1. Check clock to decide if an appropriate amount of time has passed since I went to bed. If it has been less than 10 hours, attempt to go back to sleep.

2. Once I'm officially awake, lay in bed and try to guess what the weather is like even though I cannot see through my very thick/heavy red curtains.

3. Get out of bed, put on slippers.

4. Find cereal bowl.

5. Place self in front of TV and turn on the laptop where I do not move for approximately two hours.

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (once a browncoat castle)
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I don't really have writers block at the moment, this question caught my eye because it has popped into my mind on a number of previous occasions. They'd probably think I was a love lorn teen with her head in the clouds, which may or may not be accurate depending on the day and whether or not someone can be a teen in spirit. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (once a browncoat castle)
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I don't really have writers block at the moment, this question caught my eye because it has popped into my mind on a number of previous occasions. They'd probably think I was a love lorn teen with her head in the clouds, which may or may not be accurate depending on the day and whether or not someone can be a teen in spirit. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (freeze phill better off ted)
Dear Clinique,

I love the purple bottles, really, but I worry that some night when I'm really tired and I just want my eye make up off before I pass out, I will use the Toner to remove my mascara. I mean I know the caps are different, but I'm just not sure that's enough. Just a thought.

Much Love,

~K
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (freeze phill better off ted)
Dear Clinique,

I love the purple bottles, really, but I worry that some night when I'm really tired and I just want my eye make up off before I pass out, I will use the Toner to remove my mascara. I mean I know the caps are different, but I'm just not sure that's enough. Just a thought.

Much Love,

~K
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Enchilades and Aluminum Cans Veggies)
I have completely wrapped up in the world of Half Bloods and monsters these last few weeks. And because of that I'm posting this. Just for fun.

(I'm quite possibly a half-blood but probably of a minor god/goddess so I "should" be able to live a mostly normal life)

http://www.rickriordan.com/index.php/books-for-children/enter-camp-half-blood/ten-signs-you-may-be-a-half-blood/
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Enchilades and Aluminum Cans Veggies)
I have completely wrapped up in the world of Half Bloods and monsters these last few weeks. And because of that I'm posting this. Just for fun.

(I'm quite possibly a half-blood but probably of a minor god/goddess so I "should" be able to live a mostly normal life)

http://www.rickriordan.com/index.php/books-for-children/enter-camp-half-blood/ten-signs-you-may-be-a-half-blood/
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (rant sense has no place)
A man comes into the store. He picks up a few things as he's looking around the store. His cell phone rings so he answers it while he continues to browse. He walks up to the front of the store to look at the bargain stuff while he chats on the phone with probably three books in his hands already. Because he's gotten stuff from the displays at the front, like hardback best sellers, he's got tagged books in his hands, meaning that they will set off the alarm. I know this because the alarm goes off when he approaches it. Most people, when they hear the alarm go off either make a run for it or move back (the latter is more common thankfully).

Now, I want to point out that this man is still on his cellphone and that the censors are pretty loud so that the whole store including the back can hear them. I make this point because the man did not move away from the censors. He continued to browse the books right beside the alarms buzzing and flashing, talking on his cell phone. I am with a customer at the computer and I can't just leave but I'm too far away to yell. After what seems like two minutes, he moves away to look at something a little farther off. Thirty seconds later, he's too close again and the alarm is going off again. This time its only for about thirty seconds. I'm taking my next customer to find something and sure enough after another few seconds he is setting off the alarm again! The cell phone, as far as I can tell never left his ear.

After another ninety seconds of the alarm, one of my coworkers gets over to him and asks him to move away. I get there just in time to see the absolute look of surprise when she tells the man that he is the reason the alarms keep sounding. At least, that's what I'm assuming he was surprised about, for all I know he could have been surprised she was asking him to move away from the alarms.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (rant sense has no place)
A man comes into the store. He picks up a few things as he's looking around the store. His cell phone rings so he answers it while he continues to browse. He walks up to the front of the store to look at the bargain stuff while he chats on the phone with probably three books in his hands already. Because he's gotten stuff from the displays at the front, like hardback best sellers, he's got tagged books in his hands, meaning that they will set off the alarm. I know this because the alarm goes off when he approaches it. Most people, when they hear the alarm go off either make a run for it or move back (the latter is more common thankfully).

Now, I want to point out that this man is still on his cellphone and that the censors are pretty loud so that the whole store including the back can hear them. I make this point because the man did not move away from the censors. He continued to browse the books right beside the alarms buzzing and flashing, talking on his cell phone. I am with a customer at the computer and I can't just leave but I'm too far away to yell. After what seems like two minutes, he moves away to look at something a little farther off. Thirty seconds later, he's too close again and the alarm is going off again. This time its only for about thirty seconds. I'm taking my next customer to find something and sure enough after another few seconds he is setting off the alarm again! The cell phone, as far as I can tell never left his ear.

After another ninety seconds of the alarm, one of my coworkers gets over to him and asks him to move away. I get there just in time to see the absolute look of surprise when she tells the man that he is the reason the alarms keep sounding. At least, that's what I'm assuming he was surprised about, for all I know he could have been surprised she was asking him to move away from the alarms.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (game of life won charlie crews)
I just caught the end of Robin Hood: Men in Tights on TV as I was deleting a Criminal Minds repeat I had just finished watching. The Sheriff of Rottingham was stabbed through with the sword and the old haggardly lady started talking about her "magic pill". I'd always known her "pill" was and I'm watching as the old hag says "It has the power to save your life". That's when I realized she was holding one of those wintergreen mint Lifesavers. Dear Mel Brooks, thank you.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (game of life won charlie crews)
I just caught the end of Robin Hood: Men in Tights on TV as I was deleting a Criminal Minds repeat I had just finished watching. The Sheriff of Rottingham was stabbed through with the sword and the old haggardly lady started talking about her "magic pill". I'd always known her "pill" was and I'm watching as the old hag says "It has the power to save your life". That's when I realized she was holding one of those wintergreen mint Lifesavers. Dear Mel Brooks, thank you.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (whoa back the f up connor)
I know this is a little off subject. I work in an After School program where I have a group of fifteen kids. One of my kids has the tendency to tell "stories" to impress the other boys. We'll call him Luke. One of my girls lives in the same neighborhood, we'll call her Jasmine.

Luke: This one time a plane crashed in my backyard!
Me: What?
Luke: Wide eyed "it did so" nodding.
Jasmine: It did not!
(Me in my head: Exactly what I was thinking/Good for you Jasmine)
Jasmine: It went down in Ryan's backyard. (Me: @_@) He's like five blocks from you. It was closer to me.

A plane. Seriously.

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Kate

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