float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (ha ha)
I'm passing along a joke I heard today that made me giggle.

What is Iron Man if you take away the suit?

punch line under the cut )
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (i occasionally use air quotes)
I stole this from [livejournal.com profile] shanachie_quill  who ganked from [livejournal.com profile] alikat7 cause this shite needs to be shared!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die (Chelsea - this falls to you, babe).

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font (just slant italics the other way, surely that can't be too hard for those font makers out there... someone? anyone?). 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (Nuff said)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (I don't mind

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 

10. Bad decisions make good stories. 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day (I call it "the wall" just like what the marathon runner's hit). 

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. (Hell, I'm not bothering with BluRay)

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of "Word" and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with "Miller Lite" than "Kay". 

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 

20. Shirts get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! (I've started putting my alarm on the other side of the room.)

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Is anyone surprised by this?)
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (i occasionally use air quotes)
I stole this from [livejournal.com profile] shanachie_quill  who ganked from [livejournal.com profile] alikat7 cause this shite needs to be shared!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die (Chelsea - this falls to you, babe).

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font (just slant italics the other way, surely that can't be too hard for those font makers out there... someone? anyone?). 

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (Nuff said)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (I don't mind

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 

10. Bad decisions make good stories. 

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day (I call it "the wall" just like what the marathon runner's hit). 

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. (Hell, I'm not bothering with BluRay)

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of "Word" and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with "Miller Lite" than "Kay". 

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 

20. Shirts get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! (I've started putting my alarm on the other side of the room.)

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Is anyone surprised by this?)
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (die hard star thingy)
But I like it better on its own.

"Are you an angel?"


Hehehehe, no, no I am not.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (die hard star thingy)
But I like it better on its own.

"Are you an angel?"


Hehehehe, no, no I am not.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)

There's a picture by Anne Taintor  that I swear to you looks JUST LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER. Well, you know, a few years ago. Honestly, my mom looks a hell of a lot like this lady too. Anyway, her picture comes with the phrase "I should come with a warning label" (which I think my Gran totally should have, and I say that with reverence).



Then I saw [livejournal.com profile] yappichick 's post and had to steal it.

If I came with a warning label, what would it say?
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)

There's a picture by Anne Taintor  that I swear to you looks JUST LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER. Well, you know, a few years ago. Honestly, my mom looks a hell of a lot like this lady too. Anyway, her picture comes with the phrase "I should come with a warning label" (which I think my Gran totally should have, and I say that with reverence).



Then I saw [livejournal.com profile] yappichick 's post and had to steal it.

If I came with a warning label, what would it say?
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
Actually I just wanted a reason to use this icon.

*G*
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
Actually I just wanted a reason to use this icon.

*G*
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
 

Step 7. Put decorations on tree. 8. Yell for the dog to "drop it!" until dog relinquishes the ornament in her mouth. 9. Barricade the dog from the room with the tree in it. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
 

Step 7. Put decorations on tree. 8. Yell for the dog to "drop it!" until dog relinquishes the ornament in her mouth. 9. Barricade the dog from the room with the tree in it. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)



Step1. Get tree 2. Don't let dog eat tree 3. Set up tree 4. Keep dog from knocking over the tree 5. Put on the lights 6. Push dog's nose out of tree water. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)



Step1. Get tree 2. Don't let dog eat tree 3. Set up tree 4. Keep dog from knocking over the tree 5. Put on the lights 6. Push dog's nose out of tree water. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Hettie People's Republic of None NCISLA)

I think I may instate the "Conversation of the week" (or day or month or year as my whim decides). Here is this week's "winner". I thank you, creepy gas station customer, for contributing, albeit unintentionally, this post.

Dude: Hey there pretty lady. You sure do look nice tonight.
Me: Thanks.
Dude: I've got a weakness for dark-haired ladies.
Me: ...
Dude: Well, I've got a weakness for all ladies.
Me: ...
Dude: [something unintelligible] let me curl up with your cat at the end of your bed, eventually you'd crawl down there with me.
Me: "I already have a dog."


I mean seriously. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Hettie People's Republic of None NCISLA)

I think I may instate the "Conversation of the week" (or day or month or year as my whim decides). Here is this week's "winner". I thank you, creepy gas station customer, for contributing, albeit unintentionally, this post.

Dude: Hey there pretty lady. You sure do look nice tonight.
Me: Thanks.
Dude: I've got a weakness for dark-haired ladies.
Me: ...
Dude: Well, I've got a weakness for all ladies.
Me: ...
Dude: [something unintelligible] let me curl up with your cat at the end of your bed, eventually you'd crawl down there with me.
Me: "I already have a dog."


I mean seriously. 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (ignoranus)

 Or How I would drive if I learned merely from observing other drivers (Or people are crazy) 
  1. Yellow lights indicate that you should race against the change. You win so long as the light does not turn red before your car is under it.
  2. There are shades of red e.g. “But officer, it was only a little red! I had plenty of time." 
  3. On week nights, after 12am and before 630am, stop signs become optional.
  4. The speed limit may sound confusing but it is, in fact, the minimum speed at which the person directly behind you should be able to travel. This means you should be at least five over the “speed limit” in order to accommodate those behind you. If you see a procession in your rear view mirror, you are not driving fast enough, please adjust your speed or pull over so as they may pass you.
  5. Cops are uniformed versions of your elementary school teachers. They may give you a ticket or put you in time out if they feel you are breaking the rules. If they are very angry with you, they may send you to the principal’s office to be suspended; this is bad and can be quite expensive.
  6. Cars are like dogs, the acceptable "greeting" is your nose up the tail of the car in front of you. Tailgate as often as possible since it takes practice to really get the knack of this driving do.
  7. “Flipping the Bird” is the standard form of communication between drivers who are displeased with each other. The horn is for those who are either displeased with everyone on the road or are from the New York/Jersey area (note that “the finger” will likely accompany the use of the horn in these cases).
  8. Using your “blinker” is optional.
  9. Bikers and mopeds should be on sidewalks, it is important when you see them on the road to remind them why it is they should not be on “car turf”. Remember that this is war, showing mercy is not an option.
  10. Pedestrian cross walks:
    1. If you are the only car present when you approach the cross, play “chicken” with the pedestrians. Earn points for every person who doesn’t cross the road before you drive passed. 
    2. If you are not the only car present, pedestrian bowling is choice. The goal is to knock over more people than the other car. You earn extra points for runners and fast children.
Bonus note: Roundabouts are "Merry-Go-Rounds" for adults.
Other than rule #1 which is referenced in a movie or two, I believe, these are the product of my own creativity. Thanks.
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (ignoranus)

 Or How I would drive if I learned merely from observing other drivers (Or people are crazy) 
  1. Yellow lights indicate that you should race against the change. You win so long as the light does not turn red before your car is under it.
  2. There are shades of red e.g. “But officer, it was only a little red! I had plenty of time." 
  3. On week nights, after 12am and before 630am, stop signs become optional.
  4. The speed limit may sound confusing but it is, in fact, the minimum speed at which the person directly behind you should be able to travel. This means you should be at least five over the “speed limit” in order to accommodate those behind you. If you see a procession in your rear view mirror, you are not driving fast enough, please adjust your speed or pull over so as they may pass you.
  5. Cops are uniformed versions of your elementary school teachers. They may give you a ticket or put you in time out if they feel you are breaking the rules. If they are very angry with you, they may send you to the principal’s office to be suspended; this is bad and can be quite expensive.
  6. Cars are like dogs, the acceptable "greeting" is your nose up the tail of the car in front of you. Tailgate as often as possible since it takes practice to really get the knack of this driving do.
  7. “Flipping the Bird” is the standard form of communication between drivers who are displeased with each other. The horn is for those who are either displeased with everyone on the road or are from the New York/Jersey area (note that “the finger” will likely accompany the use of the horn in these cases).
  8. Using your “blinker” is optional.
  9. Bikers and mopeds should be on sidewalks, it is important when you see them on the road to remind them why it is they should not be on “car turf”. Remember that this is war, showing mercy is not an option.
  10. Pedestrian cross walks:
    1. If you are the only car present when you approach the cross, play “chicken” with the pedestrians. Earn points for every person who doesn’t cross the road before you drive passed. 
    2. If you are not the only car present, pedestrian bowling is choice. The goal is to knock over more people than the other car. You earn extra points for runners and fast children.
Bonus note: Roundabouts are "Merry-Go-Rounds" for adults.
Other than rule #1 which is referenced in a movie or two, I believe, these are the product of my own creativity. Thanks.

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