I didn’t write at all on Friday because I didn’t have time at work and then in the evening I had a friend over and we were doing vision boards. She spent the night and we stayed up so late together that I really couldn’t stay up any later. Yesterday I did write some though I’m annoyed that I didn’t make a better effort to write more. I’ve been avoiding it today too I think.
I decided that I would go for the writer’s workshop they have at DragonCon which means putting together 2000 - 7000 words of a short story or manuscript and submitting it by August 1st. Assuming that there is room for me (there are only 20 spots if I remember correctly), I have to have something solid put together to submit to a published author and other classmates. There will also be people in the business doing presentations.
This is so exciting y’all but I’m also pooping my pants. I mean… not literally thankfully, but.
I’ve been thinking lately (thanks probably to that Badass book) that the reason I haven’t really gone for writing a book is - at least in large part - because I’m afraid to fail at it. If I really go for it and fail, I’ve always believed I would be devastated. The more I think about it though, the more I think, how can I go about my life not going for what I really want? And shit, if I fail, at least I went for it. Yeah, maybe I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t go well but how can I be disappointed in myself if I bust my ass?
One of the things I read this year was called “The Four Agreements”. It was published a good few years ago - I remember that it was popular back when I was at Borders in like 2009 or 2010 but I didn’t read it then. I still struggled with parts of it because it’s a little more “metaphysical” than I usually go for - crap I think I’ve talked about this before but oh well. The thing about this book is that one of the agreements it says you should make is to always do your best wherever you’re at. I know I’ve talked about this, but my point is that I’ve found a lot of peace in that lately. Do the best you can in any given moment and what more can you ask of yourself?
Plus, every time I get back into writing, the universe seems to through something writing related into my path. I’ve never been much of a “it’s a sign” person, but I think I may be becoming one a little tiny bit. I also think it is time to start taking the opportunities that the universe sends my way. I also think I need to stop hesitating. There is no point at which I’ll be “ready”. There’s no point at which I’ll feel like “it’s the right moment”. I’m going to have to go for it and make every moment, the best possible moment I can.
It’s hard. I’ve been more productive in the last couple of months than I probably was in all of last year combined but I need to start making more targeted efforts. There are some activities suggested in some of the books I’ve read that I think will help me and I may post them here too like I did for the “Tidying Up” activities.