float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (behold the power of slash)

Master List of FanFics, links to the "chapters" (for lack of a better word) and AO3 if available. Most of my stories are on AO3 but the ones I wrote for specific people are not currently. 

Hawaii 5-0 Danny/Steve )

Hawaii 5-0 Kono/Chin )

Alex/Scott (Hawaii 5-0 actors) RPS  )

Hawaii 5-0 or Related One Shots and/or No Pairings )

Sanctuary  )

X-Men )

Avengers 2012 )


Please let me know if any of the links are wrong. Questions are welcome. Comments are love :D
float_on_alright: I have no idea what i'm doing out of bed (no idea what i'm doing out of bed)
I’m still so effing tired y’all; worn slam out I am. I did a good bit today. Got my returns to Zulily worked out and off to FedEx. Did a few morning pages. Spent an hour and a half with the branch manager of my local library to help me prep for my interview at the library in Charlotte. I was hoping she’d have five or ten minutes for me, but seriously she spent ages with me which was super, super kind. I definitely want to send her a thank you note or something. 

I wish my handwriting was better but it’s unfortunately terrible. I can probably put something reasonable together though if I try really, really hard. My friend Emily has incredible handwriting and I’m always so, so jealous. 

Anyway, moving on. What else did I do today? Well, I did some tidying up around my room though I still have a bit more to do. I helped mom kill a black widow spider that was in our mailbox. I sent off the tire warranty thing I’d been meaning to send off for about three months (it was low priority). I activated my refund cards from the medical peoples. I got my old Kindle set up and charged so that I can use it as my official writing reference book. I was thinking how most of the time I get paperback copies of my writing reference books because I want to be able to highlight and study etc. But I can make notes and highlight on a Kindle. But I didn’t want to use the kindle I normally use for reading because I felt like I’d have trouble swimming through my other 3,000 books and documents and that would also be distracting. The Kindle editions are often much cheaper so now that I have a dedicated Kindle to keep at my writing desk, I won’t feel like I have to have the paperback in most cases. I’m sure there will still be exceptions. 

I feel like there were other, little tasks I did today but that I’m forgetting them. I did give the dog her heart worm medicine and put the tick and flea repellent on her. She was such a good girl. I need to clean her ears again, but she always hides from me for hours, sometimes a whole day, after I do that to her and she hates it so much. I really hate doing it to her but she’s been shaking her head and scratching her ears a lot lately so I know they’re bothering her. I did a wash Thursday and they seemed to be a lot better today (... yesterday? Friday, whatever that is now) which is good but when I did the wash her ears looked red and aggravated and I doubt one wash is enough. At the same time the wash is only meant to be used a couple of times a week so I don’t want to do back to back days either, just in case. I don’t do it on the regular even though I really, really should. She hates it so much that I get to feeling really bad about it. Not to mention that it’s a monster of a task to do, even if you have two people. She’s a pretty big dog and she fights. Well, she fights to get away; she never barks or growls or snaps or bites or anything like that. 

Wynonna Earp was bat shit crazy tonight. I think next week is going to be crazy face. I wish I didn’t have to get through a whole work week in order to get to the next episode, but dems dah breaks. 

I really need to sleep. I have breakfast with my sister in the morning. 

float_on_alright: kate bishop with her head on a desk in exasperation (asdf)
I’m exhausted. We had our big “zone” meeting this week. This year they did it in Atlanta which turned out to be pretty nice. I think this week’s was the best food so far when it comes to these meetings. This is my fifth one (I’ve been at the company four years but I went to the first one a week into my first year so) and while it was full of a lot of bullshit there were also a lot of great fun moments. I mostly managed to write my morning pages though sometimes they took have the day. It’s just hard when you’re sharing a room with someone to manage that. You’re sharing all the space. And the light. And if you set an alarm it wakes them up too. And just, yeah, then they’re there and if they’re up they often like to talk about the upcoming day. One morning I was just too hungover to manage it. It was all I could do to listen through the speech that morning and DEAR GOD IT WAS THE WORST SPEECH I HAVE EVER HAD TO SIT THROUGH but i had to sit down for a minute after every action until about 10am. Once I got to 10, I was able to mostly get back on track. It still took all day to write those three pages. But whatever, I wrote them. 

I also didn’t read for four days and that is the end of my reading deprivation. I’ll make it through today but I’m going back to reading tomorrow. I have never, in my life, gone this long without reading. Even before I could read, I read more than this or was read to and that counts if listening to audiobooks counts and it does. Anyway, yeah, done with the deprivation thing. Super, duper over it. I get, really, really, really get why it’s assigned and It’s been an interesting exercise and it did make me figure out something else to do when my “default” wasn’t available to me--which is good. I needed to push myself a little. And this week was a good week for that because there was a ton going on. But where I often would’ve retreated to a book to give myself a break from the onslaught of people and input, I forced myself to stay present and participate and talk to people or just sit quietly and let the noise wash over me. I do think it was good for me to take a few days away. And I think I should probably keep something of this lesson with me for the future. Remember to people watch more often, indulge in music regularly, and to sit with my emotions without hiding from them when they well up. 

I will commit to the writing again though. I’m supposed to be writing or editing or participating in workshops or other supportive creative endeavors for at least an hour a day. Well, starting tomorrow. I’m exhausted tonight after the shenanigans from this week. I need to go get my laundry out of the wash and clean off my bed and then I’ll probably head to bed. I’m just worn out and so ready to sleep alone and in my own bed again. 

I'm supposed to do an artist’s date every week, but I don’t know what to do for myself this week. Honestly, I’m really just too tired to think about anything at all so I probably shouldn’t be trying to tackle this problem now, but I only have tomorrow and Saturday left. Tomorrow all I really want to do is sleep and read and neither of those things really counts as an artist’s date. I should probably leave this as a problem for tomorrow but sometimes when I’m this tired I can’t let a problem go. It’s like my brain doesn’t know how to shut down any more and it gets fixated on problems that it “needs to solve” even though I’ll be able to do a much better job at coming up with ideas and figuring out a plan for them once I’ve rested. It’s aggravating that sometimes I’m too tired to logic myself into going to bed when that’s what's needed to set me to rights so that I can start thinking again. I’m talking in circles. Or something. Dammit. 

Sleepy Kate

Aug. 3rd, 2017 11:33 pm
float_on_alright: officer haught (officer haught)
I wrote a story that I was kind of proud of last night and it was just a little short thing, but I ended up winning a little mini competition on the Writing.com website. I think there were only a couple of entries, but it was still kind of amazing. And it got a 4 and a half star review by another, random user! So that was exciting too. I need to get on track with writing my Hallmark-Christmas-Movie Style story but I’ve been dragging my feet on writing for the last week or so. That’s probably why last night’s story felt so damn good to write. I’d written a few bits of things but they aren’t crystallizing for me yet. I’ll keep plugging on them. I think working on the prompts is good for me. I’m working my way through the book, prompt by prompt and making myself work with prompts even if I don’t initially get “inspired.” I think it’s helping. I think the morning pages are good for me too. Making myself get up early enough before work to do them is not easy for me because I’m not naturally an early riser and I have a propensity for staying up for far too long at night making it even more difficult to do mornings. 

It feels good to be something like creative in the morning, to dump on the page anything dumb. It feels good and I don’t re-read it. Sometimes I remember some of what I said, but it’s mostly nonsense and whining. Still, it somehow feels like one of the first things I do in the morning is be creative and productive. It also feels like self-care, kinda? Like the first thing I’m doing is something that’s good for my mental well-being and my creative goals. It’s still hard to get up, haha, and I have to set a timer on my watch to help me stay focused on the writing and not drift off into la la land which is pretty easy to do. It’s something I should use if I shower in the morning because I often sort of drift off in the shower and I don’t know if I actually fall asleep but it kind of feels like it. 

I am so looking forward to Saturday. I’m going to sleep in and I’m going to have a bubble bath and it’s going to be lovely. 

I'm taking a break from the one writing workshop. I’d like to go back to it eventually because I did find it helpful, but right now I don’t need to be spending $25 a month on something I’m not using every week and I’m going to need a few weeks to get some stories together. Plus, look I know that’s not a lot of money but I’d rather put it towards the DragonCon adventure. Especially since it’ll take us three weeks to get our first paycheck now that we’re back at work and I’ll have bills due during DragonCon. I shut off a couple of other monthly subscriptions - Medium and some Microsoft something. I’m going to do some budgeting things too. I’ve made up budgets in the past but they haven’t been very… well let’s just say I have no clue what I’m doing. Dad got me something to help me though I just need to start using it. 

I also have a couple of jobs to apply for that I would LOVE TO HAVE so I need to fix my resume and get the applications in. One is due the 5th - why a Saturday, I cannot say - and the other is due the 15th. I’ve got my work cut out for me. I’m trying to think of a way to reward myself or ease the pain of redoing my resume to help my motivation. I’m sure I’ll figure something out. 

I’m going to call it a night here in minute. 

float_on_alright: kill it blast it nuke it from space (nuke it)

My dad asked me how today was and I told him it was long and mostly emails. I told him how happy I was to see Emily.


“So,” he asks, “was it good to be back?”


“No.”


He laughed, but only because of my deadpan delivery and the fact that I think he expected me to say "yes" or "in some ways" or something similar as something like that is pretty likely to be my response.

I’d hoped once I got there, once I got back into to it that I’d feel less resistance to the job, that I’d feel more interested in doing the work, but if anything the opposite was true. Next week will be the SKO and we’ll learn about the new things and get to see the new books and we’ll party and get to have an author visit with Gordon Korman so maybe that will help. I guess we’ll see.


float_on_alright: That's not the right wine (not the right wine)
I go back to work tomorrow and I’m feeling like the things I really want to do are write, read, and sleep and it’s like the joke about college where you have good grades, decent a social life, and regular sleep and you can only pick two. If I take the time to read and write, I won’t get a lot of sleep. If I get decent sleep I’m going to have to limit my reading and writing time. The audiobook thing helps a little because I know I’ll be able to listen in the car and with work starting back I’ll be spending plenty of time in the car. I just don’t want all my reading time to be relegated to listening in the car in the work week either. I hate ragging on my job. It’s a good job and one that really has a lot of perks as well as a lot of great coworkers. There are a few people I’d rather not spend time with ever again, but no matter what you do I think that’ll be an issue. Nowhere is perfect. 

These six weeks have been so amazing overall. No matter the stress I felt some days or the anxiety and panic attacks I had to deal with - those are things that would’ve been worse had I been working as well as trying to do all those other things. I’m so grateful for the time off I had. When I first found out I wasn’t going to be working this summer I’ll confess that I felt a little insulted that they didn’t have a slot for me this summer and that they chose one of the other girls to work over me but I pretty quickly got very excited about the time off. I knew it would fly by and it really has. I cannot believe how quickly it past. Time does fly when you’re doing lots of stuff and having lots of fun. I wish I could go back and start over. Just like hit the rewind button. Maybe skip back a couple of chapters. But that isn't how life works and I’ll be back at work tomorrow. 

It’s not like I don’t have a ton of good stuff to look forward to. The trip to Atlanta for SKO will be fun since Emily and I will get to room together for those few days. It’ll be like having a sleepover for a few days even if we have a shit ton of meetings to go to. Then Juleia is visiting at the end of August, a few days before I head to Atlanta again (I am spending more time in Atlanta this summer than in the last couple of years combined, I’m pretty sure) for DragonCon and the writer’s workshop. It’s going to be so fun. I was worried about where I was going to stay for DragonCon a little bit. I knew that I was good to stay with Casey for the workshop but I didn’t know if she was going to be able to (or want to) put me up for the whole thing and I haven’t talked to the girls I went with last time much at all in the last few months. I’m pretty sure they’re going but I didn't really feel like I had a place with them either. But Casey made it clear she’d totally assumed that I was staying with her for the whole thing. So no matter what now, I know I’ll be okay. It’s such a relief. I’m still nervous as fuck about the trip and the workshop and the crowds and just everything that the Con is, but I’m really excited for it too. 

That’s just in the next like five weeks! Anyway, I’m going to try to focus on the perks of my job and the things I have to look forward to instead of the anything else. I need to get back into writing my stories too but I think I’d better get some sleep. I want to finish my book but it’s already 11 and I have to be up around 6am tomorrow. *Le Sigh*


float_on_alright: dies from epic overdose (dies from epic overdose)
Part of me wanted to do some writing tonight but we’ve had such a fun day and it’s already after 1:30 in the morning and we’ve been fangirling and laughing and such pretty much all day. I have been doing my morning pages so it’s not like I’ve totally neglected my writing but I haven’t done anything fictional in a few days either. Even as I type this though, the kitten in here with me likes to attacking my hands because of the way my fingers move across the keyboard. It’s cute but he nearly dragged my iPad off the bed once already tonight and I’m not much interested in him trying again. Plus I’m tired. We spent like five hours at the pool today and I ended up with just a touch of sunburn and she ended up with more than touch -- even with the sunscreen and spending some of our time in the shade or under an umbrella. The cat just attacked my hands again and now he’s rubbing the screen with his face. I think I’m just going to read and try again tomorrow. Good night you all! 

P.S. I'm really excited for DragonCon. 

float_on_alright: don't ruin my story with your logic (keep your logic out of my stories)
I didn’t write anything fictional yesterday after having worked so hard on my Alien Story so I wanted to make sure to play with some fictional prompts today. I did two. In case anyone is curious, the book I'm getting the prompts from is "A Year of Creative Writing Prompts" which has three prompts for each day in a Leap Year. I've liked several of them so far. One of them is what eventually got me to the Alien Story I just wrote though I'd already been thinking I'd never written about aliens before... at least not other than like Thor and maybe a few other aliens from popular culture... that I can remember. Anyway. Point being, like the prompts and the structure even if I'm not using it exactly as it's set up to be used (five minute free write word in the morning and then a  full prompt each for "midday" and "dinner"). 

Anywayyyyyyy, the first one said that the shadows on the wall were talking to me and to describe the conversation. That one I wasn’t in love with because it is creepy and I have to be in the mood to do creepy I think. At the same time I probably could write a story about shadows on the walls and maybe the little bite that I wrote will eventually spin in my head to something else. I’ll definitely hang onto it for later. 

The second one was just a “five minute free write” on the word “circlet” which I expected to be difficult but turned out to be kind of fun. I wrote a little bit that I actually do want to come back to. I’ve been thinking that I want the next story I write to be a sappy Hallmark type (I wanted a number of their Christmas movies while they were doing the “Christmas in July” thing) with angst and fluff and an absurdly happy ending. I just want it to be gay. Hallmark has all the fanfic tropes except no one is ever gay. Or at least none of their main characters are. And I get it -- from a brand standard thing even if I hate it. I will give them that they have had a slightly more diverse cast as of late. It seems like they have been trying to do a little better so there’s that at least. Anyway, the thing is, I love the schmoop. I do, I can’t help it and I totally want to write queer schmoop. And this prompt could be it. Friends to lovers thing, maybe. We’ll see. I’ll post them here so I can remember to look back at them. 

There are shadows on my wall that shouldn't be there. They aren't there, they can't be there. Except they are. And they're whispering, low and hissing. I stare at the sun and it's trek across the sky hoping for a few more hours of sun but I know there's only a matter of minutes before the light sinks below the tree line. And then it will be dark and the shadows will blend and rise. They're always stronger at night. No one believes me. 

They put me on drugs but they don't help. The shadows are still there but I don't confess to hearing them any more. I don't want them to up the drug dosage again. I can't fight back when the drugs are too strong. And I must fight back. There is no weapon against a shadow that isn't there. But light helps, weakens them. Makes them fainter and quieter than usual and it's a relief on those long summer days that the light is out so long. But it's fall now and the days are shrinking and the nights are stretching and shadows are growing and they're getting louder. They're hisses are more like words now. I can almost make them out. I catch a word here and there and I try to block out the words. They want something. I can tell they want something. I can't tell yet what they want me to do but I'll know soon and I'll have to resist. It'll be so hard to resist. I've begged for more lamps but the desk light and the night light are all I'm allowed. They don't want to validate my hallucinations they say, but I know they're not hallucinations. They're not. 

The circlet sat gently on her forehead and for a moment she looked so positively royal I wanted to bow. I managed to avoid that. If I hadn't she'd have tortured me about it for weeks. My stomach swoops when she laughs. It's a beautiful sound. Like if a flower blooming made a song or you could hear the music of the smell of chocolate chip cookies, sweet and bright. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. She was beautiful, even without the elaborate dress she'd put on for this event and that circlet, as fine and precious as it was, wasn't good enough to sit on her head. It wasn't just that she was beautiful, though I thought she was. My friends always said she was a solid "7" and I understood, sort of. They were just looking at her from the outside. She was pretty but people didn't stop in the street to stare at her... She did get the occasional wolf whistle but we lived in a small town and she had been known to kick a man in the nuts if they got too close to her. She was amazing and I wondered what she was doing hanging around with me. I wasn't anything special. I was basically a 5 on a good day with make up. Someone once suggested she hung out with me because I made her look good, but they didn't know her. And what would be the point of hanging out with me at my house, just the two of us if she was only using me to make herself look better in the eyes of others? Not to mention that she was a total dork. I say that with love and the full acknowledgment that I am also a dork. We had competitions on who was dorkier which was how I knew without a doubt that she was not friends with me just to make herself look better. No one tried to make a fool of themselves like if they were trying to make themselves look better.


 
float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
 

I didn’t do much new writing yesterday because I was so focused on getting the alien story ready to go that I just didn’t have the energy to do anything fresh. I am doing my morning pages so there is that and I feel good about those. I woke up this morning around 730 so I’d have time to write them before I went to my Employment Services meeting at 9. And you know, it feels like I’m being productive. It feels like I’m starting my day on a good foot even if all I’m doing is bitching about being up early or rambling about my family. I haven’t been counting the words, so I don’t know what kind of words I’m getting from them, as I’ve mentioned. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about that but I actually feel pretty okay about it.


I’d kind of like to create a morning routine. I’ve struggled in the past with mornings but it would be nice if I had a good morning before I got to work. Because I never know what my day is going to bring so if I could create a good morning for myself, maybe I’d feel like I had a little more control over my life and maybe then I’d be less anxious. Maybe not, but it would still be nice to feel like I had a good morning before the work begins. I don’t know what I want that routine to look like other than that it would include the morning pages. I guess that’s a good question and one that I’ll have to think about, but I think it’s a good goal.


I think ideally it would involve a few minutes meditating too, though I’d have to be carefully not to fall asleep which would be really easy that early. Maybe Yoga would be a better option. That’s meditative but with movement. I don’t think it would involve breakfast just because I’m not usually hungry that early. So what would that look like? 15 - 20 minutes of gentle yoga or meditation, 30 minutes of morning pages and then get ready and head off to work? If I get that down, I can think about adding other things. I really hope I take better care of myself this fall than I did last fall. I was seriously lacking in the self care department until I was a mess.


I went on a shopping spree today. It was wonderful. I have this feeling in my gut that I’m going to need more business casual clothes soon. I don’t know why I feel that way. I haven’t heard any indication that we won’t be allowed to wear jeans on a regular basis, but I guess we’ll have to see. Either way, I made sure to get some new nice things. I’m going to have to throw out some of my older shirts because they’re starting to get holes in them or just generally wear out. Some of them I’ve had since I worked at the library in 2010 - 2011 so I really can’t be upset about it. Seven years is a long time to last for a shit that I like and wear often.


When I was shopping for shirts today - I had ordered some bottoms a couple of weeks ago - I saw all these lovely fall sweaters and cozy shirts on sale and I sighed. I wish that I could wear that stuff. We barely have any kind of winter here (like 2 weeks of snow, 3 - 4 of 40 - 50 degree F) and the rest of the time it’s warm to Satan’s … you get the picture) and because I’m so warm natured, I can’t wear those kinds of things inside with the heat on because I roast. My “winter wardrobe” is pants instead of shorts and capris and a coat over my summer shirts.


Anyway, I’m excited for my new things and it slightly cheers me up about going back to work next week.

float_on_alright: there's no crying in baseball (no crying in baseball)
I took a bit of a break from writing yesterday. After shoving my way through my alien story, I needed a breath. I read my ARC of “Bring the Heat” and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then I finished one of the other books from the same series (an older title that I hadn’t read yet that was more of a novella side story than anything else) called “A Tale of Two Dragons” which was super cute. It was great to have a night reading in the beach condo by myself. I mean, mom was in the bedroom but it was still good to have a couple of hours that weren’t “work hours” that I had to myself. I do so love having that. 

We’re back at the house now. It feels weird to think that we were at the beach this morning. We only got home right before 5pm but it feels like we’ve been back for days. I have a feeling that I’ll have the same kind of displacement when I go back to work next week. It’s not a bad gig and it pays so much better than everything else I’ve done my anxiety is also a total fucking bitch (sorry) about that job. I cringe every time I hear a phone ring, even if it isn’t mine. It’s totally ridiculous, I know. But I honestly hear the sound of that phone ring in my nightmares sometimes. There aren't many other jobs where I’d have this kind of time off in the summer or make money without working a billion hours a week or working with a product that I didn’t believe in (at the very least I believe in kids reading) so I don’t know that I want another job. I spent a good portion of Monday’s and Tuesday's these past few weeks looking for jobs to apply to and I can’t say there was anything that I really, really wanted to do. 

And the thing is, my anxiety is going to follow me wherever I go. I like to pretend like it’s the job so that I have something tangible to blame, but I don’t think that’s fair to my work. And my coworkers on a whole aren’t bad. Plus there’s E, who I have a tremendously good time with. If only S weren’t a barnacle, but you can’t win everything. 

I know the problem is that I really want to be writing as a job. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to write full time but to be able to do it part time and work at a library part time would be so amazing. If I’m honest, that’s what I really want for my life. 

Of course, I’m also terrified of going after that goal, but, like I said, anxiety will follow me everywhere. I have to battle it, not avoid things that make it rear up. This workshop has me tied up in knots too, even with the story completed. I’m going to work on editing tomorrow after mom and I have lunch with my sister. 

I need to start exercising again. And start tracking my food again. See if I can’t lose a few pounds. I’m not aiming to be skinny, but I’d like to aim to be a little at risk for diabetes and heart disease, etc. etc. etc. That just seems like a good idea. I hope that going back to work will help me get back into a routine. I also hope that I will have a routine that includes a healthy amount of sleep. 

float_on_alright: boys and their toys (boys and their toys)
I bought about 10 or eleven pen packs today of varying types. I wanted to do some research about my favorite pens especially since the morning pages are supposed to be handwritten. I know I could use any pen for that sort of thing, but if I’m going to do that much handwriting, I want it to be with a pen I like not just a plain BIC pen - no offense to BIC or anything. I bought a bunch of them at the Dollar Store (bomb!) and a few at the grocery store. I got a few pens that are really just for fun - like a set of scented ones (blueberry, strawberry, grape) that are blue, pink, and purple. 

I’ve discovered that Pentel is my favorite brand of pen. I wasn’t in love with their “just right” rollerball pen even though it’s one of the smoothest writing utensils I’ve ever used because I’m an ink snob. I want my ink to be the blackest black, and I want it to be bold and striking and still not bleed through the paper. Of course, I want the writing to be smooth too. That all said, one of their other pens - the EnerGelX or something like that, was amazing. They had a pack of two at the Dollar Tree. 1mm, ink exactly the way I want it, and damn smooth writing. The Inc. R2 .7mm was probably my second favorite, and the Uni-Ball Bold Air came in third. I tried two different “Stylio” pens; one by Sharpie and one by PenMarc (I think I got that right). I liked them, and I think they’ll come in handy at some point, but they weren’t smooth enough for scribbling morning pages. 

The “Just Right” pens would probably make the most sense for the morning pages, but they’re my morning pages, and I can be weird about them if I want. 

I need to write more of my alien story/first draft for the workshop. I need to have it posted to the other workshop site so I can get some feedback this week and start editing by Monday so that it can maybe a have little more work on Tuesday and I can mail it off on Wednesday. While I was out and about, I got a padded envelope that I think will do nicely for sending my manuscript. I’m hoping that helps me be more committed to the task. I really wanted to have it posted to the workshop tonight, but I feel like I’m a long way off from having the story resolved. I feel I may need a couple more thousand words and I know I can get another chunk down tonight. I mean I wrote 1,400 words in it last night, but like, she just got out of the woods. She still needs to get back to her place, figure out how to help the little aliens, and send them safely off and then realize what she’s learned from the experience and show that she’s “grown.” I’m not sure how many words that’s going to take, but I think it’s going to be more than 1,400. Of course, maybe not! 

I should do what I can though. I have to be up early since we’re headed down to the beach in the morning and mom wants to leave by 9:30. I need to shower which will likely take close to an hour, and we have to finish packing the car. At the same time, I slept in until almost 1:30 pm today (I was up until like 3 am writing in my defense), so I don’t know how tired I am and how early I’ll be able to get to sleep. Though, knowing me if I when to bed and committed to going to sleep with my sleep story on, I’d be out in a couple of minutes. Actually, that does sound good. 

Anyway, I’d better get some story writing done. *Peace*

float_on_alright: I don't have a plot. I have caffeine (I don't have a plot. I have caffeine)
I started “The Artist’s Way” Recovery program today. Who knows how this is going to go long term but I suppose I can always start over if I need to. One of the frustrating things is that I can’t read over the “morning pages” which I know are mostly word vomit anyway so it’s not that I want to read them. The thing is, I’d like to count them towards my word goals for the day but they’re to be handwritten, not typed, no one is to see them or read including me, so physically counting the words isn’t an option because there's too much risk of me reading them. Not re-reading your morning pages is part of battling your “Inner Censor” or, The Cruel Critic as I’m starting to think of mine. My inner voice is an asshole y’all. I mean, I always knew that but one of the assignments for this week was to write down what the inner voice came up with when you wrote out “I, (insert name here), am a brilliant prolific writer.” 

And dude? I’m a fucking asshole. One of the things from therapy was being nicer to myself and the truly terrifying part of seeing the things I’ve said about myself in my own head is that I used to be worse. I wish I could understand how I got so hateful towards myself. Like, okay kids were assholes to me and I always felt out of place and awkward, but I don’t think any of them were ever as mean as I was to myself. 

One of the things she recommends is searching for who might have given you these insecurities and fears. Like trace them back to their originators. And while I was picked on for being overweight, a nerd, weird, wearing unfashionable clothes, not understanding personal hygiene for a while (don’t all sixth graders go through this?), etcetera etcetera etecera, I cannot think of a single instance when someone told me my writing was bad or that I should give up. In fact, as I search through my memories to writing classes and workshops, I can’t remember anything but kindness, support, and encouragement. So what the fuck? Did I do this to myself? And if so, how did this happen? How, growing up with a father who still says “when are you gonna write that bestseller?” In a completely, “you can do it so you should do it already” way do I still think of my writing as worthless trash? How did all those supportive, kind words go so far astray?

I had a teacher in high school who drove me to and from the UNC Charlotte campus from the boonies of Rowan County every day for two weeks so that I could participate in a writing workshop. A workshop I remember fondly and still have the booklet with our work and the notecards the participants wrote for me (we all wrote something nice for each participant). That seem teacher essentially created a Creative Writing II class at the high school so I could keep taking a creative writing course. My college professor weren’t really any less supportive. My classmates were supportive. But I guess I spent too much time thinking I would never be able to write a poem half as amazing as any poem Jason Mott ever wrote (he wrote The Returned, which was as a TV series for a minute and yes, we went to college together and I was in several classes with him even though I was a couple of years behind him and he is amazing - as a writer, as a poet, and as a person). 

She talks about parents telling their kids to be “reasonable” but my dad told me to do my best and as long as I was happy I could be a (and this is a direct quote) “Redundant (unemployed) Siberian Shit-Shoveler from Sheffield” for all he cared. How amazing is that? My mother (so long as she continues to believe I’m straight, I guess, who knows what will happen if she ever figures out I’m definitely not that) thinks the sun shines out my ass and I could do anything I wanted including writing Christmas movies for the Hallmark Channel. 

They talk about mean teachers and while I was terrified of Mrs. Teague I don’t remember her ever being discouraging. I had one teacher who wouldn’t call me by my preferred name but her class was also the class that I first truly understood that I wanted to write a book one day (I was in the first grade - about 6 years old) and that’s one of my two clear memories from that class (the other was refusing to answer by my given name instead of my nickname - I wish I still had that spunk 6 year old me had - she was badass). So not her then. My 6th grade English teacher was also a creative writing teacher and she was phenomenal. She chose my essay as a winner so I could be the “Lady” of our medieval castle day. My 7th grade teacher let me stay after school and use his computer to write the story I was supposed to write for his class. It was only supposed to be about five pages, but it was 25 by the time I was done. He even let me turn it in late with no penalty because I was enthusiastic about the project. 

I mean seriously, I cannot think of a single villain in my pursuit of the creative except myself. 

And isn’t that just a bitch? I can’t be mean to myself about it when I’m supposed to be helping myself heal. I mean beating myself up about it will not do me any good. I wish I had someone to blame though. I wish there was someone I could point to and go “There! That’s it! That’s the moment I started telling myself I could never really write! And it is his/her fault.” It would be so nice to have an external person to blame. But I don’t. And so I’ll just have to find a way to 1) forgive myself and 2) encourage and be kind to myself. 

I see a lot more affirmations in my future. 

float_on_alright: procrastination is hard work (procrastination is hard work)
 Thunder:

As a resident of “The South,” aka the southern states of the United States (as if there are no other “southern” regions in all the world, but whatever) I was accustomed to thunderstorms. They’d been a staple in my life for the last twenty-five years, at least, and I really didn’t think anything of them. Usually. Sure, I’d get out of a swimming pool for thunder. Lightening followed as a rule so you really didn’t want to risk being in an open body of water, but otherwise, I didn’t make no never mind. Again, usually.

But as I woke, gasping, the house rattling with the continued booming, I was sure I was about to die. I’d been dead asleep and there was little that would wake me up. This went on. This couldn’t possibly be thunder. It was still going. The house was still shaking. I’d never been in an earthquake so I didn’t know what that was like, but I thought maybe I was finding out now and I should get to shelter in door frame or something because couldn’t be good. The booming overhead though, I didn’t think it was an earthquake. This was probably a plane. And it was probably about to crash into my house. And kill me where I lay in my bed. I closed my eyes again and thought, “Well, if this is it, at least it will be quick.”

The booming faded a little and finally after a few more seconds, stopped. Then, the unmistakable crack of lightening shook my room again but nothing fell to the ground and nothing lit on fire. I was going to live after all. Another bout of thunder rolled over the house, but it wasn’t as intense, it wasn’t as long, and it wasn’t rattling. Just a thunderstorm now. The clouds could no longer bear their heavy weight and I heard the gush of rain against my windows. I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to sleep. 

float_on_alright: I understand which if i think about it disturbs me (I understand which if i think about it d)
 

I hit the resistance again today. After having not felt it for a few days, it was annoying to have it back. That’s okay though. I know that these types of things are common. I’m glad to have had some days without the resistance. I’ve read a little more of the book “The Artist’s Way” and I really do want to try her program. At the same time I feel incredibly overwhelmed about the upcoming things I have going on in my life. The next two weeks only involve a couple of weekend trips and a few appointments, but then it’s back to work during the busy season. Fall is always crazy in a way that Spring just never is. We’ll have the week in Atlanta for our sales kick off and then a couple of weeks later I’ll be taking off for DragonCon, plus there will be a visit from J who is coming in from California right before DragonCon. Then September and October tend to be my busiest work months. November is crazy. Honestly between the second week in August and the second week in December, I rarely have time to take a breath. And yes, I realize that there is never a “good time” to start a 12 week program but I think some times are just seriously worse than others. And fall is definitely the worst and busiest part of my year, bar none. At least while I’m working for Scholastic.


At the same time, I have a story to try to write, re-write, edit, and mail by July 25th. And if I’m blocked, I’m screwed. I really wanted to have the first draft written by Wednesday and I have no idea if that is going to happen. If I could get the first draft done by Wednesday, I know I could mail it by the following Tuesday (the 25th) or Wednesday at the latest and I feel like that’s enough time for it to make it to Atlanta by the 1st of August (the following Tuesday). Granted, I supposed I always have the option to just cancel the workshop. It’s just that I know I’d be canceling out of fear. The fear is what has me blocked anyway. It’s hard to be creative when you’re just so damned afraid. The “I have to write something good!” is so hateful to my creative brain and I know I’m not being fair to myself. At the same time, I don’t know how to stop. This lady says she knows how to help. That she can teach that part. I don’t know if she can tell me how to be a better storyteller, I think that’s something I have to learn other places and practice. But she says she does have a system for becoming consistently creative without all the blocked nonsense all the time. She calls it a recovery program, like AA or something. And I think I believe her.


And that’s the thing right? Like, what if she’s right? What if she doesn’t know exactly how to loosen up the strangle hold the inner critic has on my creative self? If that’s the case, how can I possibly justify putting it off?


Not to mention, as frustrating as my job can be and as busy as it can be, I only spend 40 hours there a week. I don’t take my job home with me, ever, and even if I stay until we close at 5pm every day of the week, that still puts me home in the evening with plenty of time to do creative work. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from the last 8 months or so, it’s that I absolutely cannot give up my creative pursuits because to give them up would be to give up on my mental health and that is something I know I cannot do.


She forewarns that it can be a difficult, emotionally exhausting journey, one that I’ll likely want to quit. Which means the other thing standing in my way is fear. Fear of what I’ll find and what I’ll feel and what I’ll have to face. Those aren’t things I can take lightly. I know everyone has a shitstorm of issues inside them - maybe some more than others but still I doubt anyone has been untouched by some sort of trauma at some point. I think we all build up walls of lies in some form or fashion so that we don’t have to face the things we don’t like about ourselves. It’s probably pretty normal to fear that too.


I fear I’ll be too tired from work to be able to handle whatever crises this thing makes me face. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to face what I need to face. I’m afraid I’ll quit.


I mean, I can’t fail if I don’t try, right? Which is, of course, exactly the attitude I’ve been hiding behind for years that I promised myself I wouldn’t let win (at least not on a regular basis anyway) earlier this year.


On top of all this, I go back to work in like two weeks and I’m dreading it. Part of me looks forward to seeing Emily at work all the time and I certainly don’t want to stay on unemployment no matter how much I wish I could retire already. The last few weeks have positively flown by and I know the next two weeks will be gone even faster. I’m trying to savor them, of course but they’ll still go by quickly. I keep hoping that by the end of these next two weeks, when I’m thinking, “Yup, back to work tomorrow,” that I’ll be sort of ready for it. Maybe not bored with being off exactly, I don’t think that’s possible, but ready. Maybe if Fall and Spring were reversed and spring was the busier season and fall was quiet and I could “ease” into going back to work, that would be more likely. And granted, it’s not impossible. It’s a six week break and that’s no small break. It’s really, really not. I mean, how many people get that kind of time off? Teachers, of course, get a bit more than that, but they take their jobs home with them every day. I’d bet those kids are always on their minds. Not to mention all the other crap they put up with, like parents and the government making dumb laws about standardized tests. Granted, I have to put up with a lot of Parent-Teacher-Associations/Organizations members. That is a mixed bag, I can tell you that. Although, so is working with teachers, librarians, and staff.


Sigh, I’m on a tangent. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. I don’t want to start something I’m not committed to doing but I don’t want to not commit to something because I’m being a scared little wuss. I could probably debate this all night. Go round and round with myself about it but I’m not sure that it would help. I think I’ll go try a prompt and then maybe read for a bit. I’ve got a dentist appointment tomorrow so I’ll have to be in bed at an almost reasonable hour tonight.

float_on_alright: drink tea and read (drink tea and read)
 
I did the computer mouse the other day so I thought I'd do the prompt as it was originally described and not as I'd inadvertently read it. It didn't seem right to "check it off" without doing it properly. 

The perspective of a mouse in a cupboard:

The tall ones weren't supposed to be home this early, Fur the 750th of the clan of Browns, thought to himself. They were supposed to be gone for a few more movements of the sun; he was pretty sure. Instead, they hadn't been gone long enough for the sun to have shifted much at all. He could tell from the line of the sun and shadows created by the small crack where the door of the cupboard didn't quite seal all the way closed. He was fairly certain that they hadn't heard him yet though. They seemed to be yelling at each other, and one had slammed the door closed after they'd entered. No, if he remained very still he might just be okay until they had left or gone to bed again. It was hard to understand what they were upset about exactly. The tall ones argued about such strange things. 

"You told me that you'd had the car taken in!" the child bearing one of the two shouted. 

"I did!" the non-child bearing one answered. 

Fur knew they had their own for such distinctions, but he didn't have time to sort out all of their languages. 

"Well then, why the hell did they not miss that we were nearly out of radiator fluid!"

"I don't know, Greta. And I'm sorry. They told me they checked all the fluids. Look," the one showed 'Greta' something he'd pulled from his pocket. Fur didn't quite understand what the slim block could show this Greta, but Greta looked. "See? A charge from the mechanic from yesterday." 

Greta let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, William." All the anger seemed to rush from the tall one in a whoosh. 

"It's okay," William answered. "I know you're worried about your sister, but there's nothing you can do for her right now anyway. And we'll be there soon." 

"Yes, I know you're right." 

"Your sister is going to be okay, love. I promise." 

"You can't promise that." 

Fur understood worry for brothers and sisters. He had some forty siblings somewhere. And several had died already. Theirs was not an easy life. 

"Why don't we get changed out of these clothes and then we'll go from there." The one called William said instead. 

"Okay," Greta nodded her head. William put his mouth on Greta's in a gentle, almost hesitant way. Fur had seen them do this before but didn't understand. The gesture never seemed to follow the same pattern. Sometimes it was all encompassing what they did and led to what Fur thought was mating, but sometimes it led to nothing but a smile or a wave goodbye. Such strange creatures, the tall ones. Fur hoped this meant that he would be free to move soon. 

Greta and William stood together a few moments more and then moved out of the room and up the stairs. Fur breathed a deep sigh of relief and scurried back into the crevice in the wall he'd come through hoping the tall ones would be gone for a while. He senses if he came back after the sun disappeared and reappeared that he would be able to raid their cabinets to his heart's content. He would just have to have a little patience. 
float_on_alright: clint doesn't want spoilers (clint doesn't like spoilers)
I was not even a little bit in the mood to write today. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything today if I’m honest. Well, anything except read. I finally got to the book I’d been wanting to get to in the series and it was everything I’d hoped it would be. *Happy Sigh* 

On the other hand, I’ve been feeling a bit miserable. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t written anything new or if I’m feeling like I’ve gotten in over my head with a few of the things I’ve signed up for over the last six months or so (possible since I’ll now have regularly scheduled accountability and mastermind calls possibly for the rest of my life and I honestly don’t know how that happened to me), or maybe because for the first time in months I didn’t have anything immediately pressing and I didn’t know what to do with myself, or if maybe I’m just hormonal (that’s certainly possible too). 

I don’t feel like I thought I would feel having finished the Lit Mag Love course though I think it’s largely because I’m afraid of what comes next. Part of the deal was that you would get her help until such a time as you get published in one of the journals you thought would do well for your work. Which means there’s a high probability that one of my stories will, in the next year or so, get published in a journal somewhere. Which, dear God, what was I thinking? I mean, I know what I was thinking. And I know that I do actually want to get published. I know that I do, but the idea of it is terrifying. 

And that is probably why I’ve been miserable and wallowing for a large part of today. The idea of successfully getting something I wrote in a journal is terrifying. I mean, I’m likely to be rejected for a while. I’m likely going to need to do a lot more work writing a lot more stories before I get there, but it actually feels like there’s a real chance I could get there. If I'm honest, there’s one journal that I think my story would really be suited for that I sent it to. I had only planned to send my story to just that journal but I don’t have enough other things ready to be able to submit other stories other places. 

I know I’ve already talked about the five submissions thing so I won’t get back into that for right now but I guess I just really think that one journal should take my story. Which means I know I’ll be frustrated, sad, and disappointed if they’re not interested. I know I can’t take stuff like that personally. I really, really do. And I know that my writing needs a lot of work so I should just remember that this is part of the learning process but I know there will be a moment when I’ll be hurt. But, I handled it when my Mrs. Claus story got rejected and I’ll handle it when it this one does too. I’m just hopeful that this one is closer to being the kind of story journals will say yes than the last one. And that the next one will be closer. And the rejections will simply be opportunities to make my stories better, nothing more and nothing less. 

Granted I was in a decent mood until mom wanted me to leave the house - I mean, I had to put on clothes including a boob prison. I just wore a sports bra which is slightly less aggravating, but I still wasn’t happy about having to “people” today. I just really, really didn’t want to people today. Not that the people we peopled with weren’t lovely. I just didn’t want to do it. I need to make myself a general schedule for the rest of the summer so that I’m productive every day in a way that feels good to me. I was overwhelmed productive the last few days and that didn’t feel good and then today I wasn’t remotely productive. I mean, I washed a few dishes and I listened to that book. I know listening to a fourteen hour book (on a 1.25 setting) in about 23 hours is sort of productive but I know if I don’t work on my projects over the next two and half weeks, I’ll be mad at myself for “wasting” the time. Not to mention that I really do have to have that stuff put together for the DragonCon writing workshop by August first. And actually I’d like to have it done before I go visit my friend Casey the last weekend of this month (good grief, where does the time go?) which is only like 15 days away. That’s two weeks and a tiny bit. 

Seriously, where does the time go?

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
I’ve been staring at my little phone screen playing games for several hours while listening to my book, which after hours on the computer the last few days and a lack of sleep has left them tired and a little sore. I shouldn't have strained them with that tiny screen and all those tiny Mah Jong tiles, ugh. 

I am proud of myself though because I think I made it through all the coursework and I definitely did all five of the necessary work applications for the week and I’ve still had time to read. Goodness, it’s nice being off. I know I only have a few weeks left, I’ll be back to work three Monday’s from now, but I intend to thoroughly enjoy the time off I have left. I’d like to spend time at the pool here and do a lot of reading. I hope to write as well. My brain has been in editing mode for the most part for the last week or so and that makes it hard for me to switch to creation mode writing wise. Since I’ve submitted my story to a bunch of places, I really can’t do anything else with it until it comes back to me I created a spreadsheet so I could keep track of where it was submitted. I'd hate to end up submitting it to the same journal by accident or something else similarly sucky. 

I have no idea what will happen with it or what I hear back but I’m sure that it will be good experience regardless. Rejection is part of writing and the earlier I learn that the better. 

I don’t understand why, almost a week later, I still hear fireworks going off. I mean this is ridiculous. The puppy is barking up a storm over it and I can't even be mad at her. How is she supposed to know that no one is trying to blow up the neighborhood? Plus I’m sure there are a ton of dogs barking out there… yeah, I think I hear one now… so she’ll definitely have to respond to that. Poor thing. And poor mom because I know she’ll have a hell of a hard time sleeping through that. 

Anyway, my plan is to write 4000 new words this week so I’ll definitely need to spend some time focusing on being creative. I’ve got a prompt book that I think I might try and I’m also thinking about picking up where I left off in “The Artist’s Way” since I know there are prompts in there as well. If I remember correctly, she recommended reading the book all the way through before starting on the activities so I may stick with the prompt book for now. It’s got 3 prompts per day for 366 days so there should be plenty there. 

I can’t decide if I want to go through the prompts methodically or if I want to jump around and try random things. I’m usually a jump around randomly kind of person but I’m thinking of going through them methodically to push myself. Sometimes I skip prompts because they don’t inspire me or what have you, but I think it could be really good for my creative muscles to at least do some free writing with everything in there, to really work to pull out something even if nothing comes to mind initially. Plus it’s a eBook so it would probably be easier to keep track of what I have and have not done if I went in order. I could jump to locations or pages and highlight the things I’ve done but it’s not like I can physically flip through pages and put my finger on a random prompt. 

But not tonight. Tonight I am going to listen to more of my book (I finished one and am now onto the next). I’m really anxious to get to the 6th one. I’m really enjoying the 5th one so far (it may be my favorite so far, though that’s hard to say for sure). I had picked up the sixth one and started reading it and I was loving it but then I realized that there was a ton of stuff I’d missed and if I was going to have any hope of really keeping up with the side plots, giant cast of characters, several different pantheons of gods, all the different countries and territories as well as understand the history of the two characters the book focuses on, I was going to need to read the other ones first. The series has been building these two up for the last like four books so I’m glad that I went back. Not to mention that I’ve enjoyed the books so far. All of them have had huge amounts of plot happening like so I think I would’ve gotten lost if I’d tried to just keep going. I mean I read the first two about four or five years ago so I don’t remember them perfectly but I remembered enough to be able to follow the third one well. 

Plus, they’re all so funny anyway. There was no point in not reading them when I’m enjoying them so well. I’m not sure why I didn't continue on reading them after I picked up the first two. Though I think at the time the level of violence and gore was just too much for me, for whatever reason. Granted, there's probably more of a difference between 26 - 27 year old me than 31 year old me than I cognitively recognize because I'm still making a lot of the same dumb mistakes and in a lot of the same spirals, but that’s not something I particularly want to examine right this moment. I’ll probably never want to but it’s probably something I should make myself do at least a little of before I go back to work. But again, not tonight. Tonight I’m going to read. 

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
 

I think I’m going to make. I found two more places to submit to, reworked my cover letters, and fired away. I also did the next assignment which was to write the people whose opinions of your writing really matter on a 1 inch by 1 inch piece of paper. I don’t have a ruler so I had to wing it, but I figure no one can complain about me putting three people on the list. I mean, that should be short enough to fit on a 1 square inch piece of paper. Especially if I shortened their names or wrote them really small, right? Anyway, while I’m sure the visual reference is helpful, and I might do it one day, I think the message of the assignment was clear. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m a “spirit of the law” kind of girl and that ain’t gonna change anytime soon.


Part of me wants to power through the other two assignments tonight, but I think I need some rest. I think that I’ll be able to complete them tomorrow more easily and quickly having got some real sleep.


Tomorrow will also hopefully involve some writing something that isn’t a journal entry, but we’ll see. I’m also eager to finish the book I’m listening to. It’s interesting to me that the narrator of the stories isn’t a narrator I’ve been thrilled with in the past but I still think I’d rather stick with listening to the stories instead of reading them. I’m not totally sure, but I am leaning that way. Normally I find her barely tolerable and it’s not like she’s doing such a better job on these than she did on the others I’ve heard by her. Maybe it’s just that these books are so much better than the other books I’ve heard her read. Not that the other books were bad, they weren’t. It’s just that those other books were… “well, that was fun” as opposed to what I’m listening to now which is more like, how can I get five more minutes listening to this book. I know, I’ll empty the dishwasher, that way “I’m being productive” so I won’t feel guilty about how I’m spending this time but I can still listen to the book.


What I’m reading now is by one of my all time favorite writers, Shelly Laurenston. I just relistened to her “Pride” series, which is probably my favorite series by her though her “Call of Crows” series is fantastic too and I enjoyed her “Magnus Pack” series too. This series is under her pen name (I think it’s her pen name and not the other way round), G.A. Aiken. It’s Dragons and witches and warlords and shit. Where her shapeshifter books take place in modern, earth times, Dragon Kin takes place in a world of Dragon Gods and swords. Both epically fun though. You have to have an affinity for cursing, bloodshed, raunchy language, and sort of questionable or unstable main characters, but I find them hilarious and exciting. She’s one of the few authors I still read that doesn’t really pass the “But is it gay?” question. She does have an odd side character (I can think of 2 for sure and a 3rd I suspect) who turns out to be gay, but they’re not developed. Still though, I enjoy her main characters. Her female characters are especially fun to me because they’re usually vicious (though in different ways, sometimes with violence, but sometimes in craftiness) and funny.  I mean, one of her characters has the moniker “The Blood Queen” and she’s actually a queen. “The Viper” and “The Beast” are really fun too. “The Beast” is plain and bespectacled and brilliant. One of the characters in the “Pride” series is famous for her favorite saying which she got from her father, “Time to start the killing.” And Cella Malone is a former marine, a bare knuckles boxer, and a hockey player. There’s all kinds of “politics” between shifters and packs and families and it’s just fun. She’s also suppppper diverse with characters who are of a bunch of different backgrounds and descents.


And I’m officially rambling. But seriously, I love that author. She’s got another series she’s going to be doing soon, I think it’s coming out next year that has me really excited.


So now that I’ve blown off some steam writing about the author of the book I want to be reading, I’m going to go listen to the book for a bit and get some sleep.


float_on_alright: apologize in advance as I slowly go nuts (apologize in advance as I slowly go nuts)

Here’s yesterday’s list for the weekend:


  1. Give 2 more people feedback. Check.
  2. Edit “Monster in Manhattan.” Check.
  3. Edit my cover letter. Check.
  4. Figure out which other four magazines I’m submitting my story to since I’d already picked one. Picked five, couldn’t use three. Found another one I couldn’t use. Picked another story for for a flash fiction magazine only to find they’re currently closed for submissions. Found one that is a bit absurdist and submitted a story that honestly wouldn’t be appropriate for any other lit magazine I’ve ever seen but just might fit there. Two more submissions to figure out.
  5. Rework my cover letter four times. Didn’t need a cover letter for one magazine. Reworked it for my other submission. Likely two more reworks to go.
  6. Attempt to send my reworked cover letters to the correct magazines along with my story. Again, three down, two to go.


Once I get that done there are three more assignments to the online course, but I’ve looked over them and from what I can tell, they’re manageable. If I can figure out the last couple of submissions tomorrow, I feel confident I can finish the rest in time. Of course, that'll have to be worked around the fellowship thing with mom in the morning and volunteering in the library in the afternoon. I'm going to be so thankful to be shelving tomorrow and listening to my book.

float_on_alright: don't ruin my story with your logic (keep your logic out of my stories)

 

My goals for Friday and Saturday (I originally posted them separately but meh) were:


  1. Find something to post to Becoming Writer Workshop. Recommend doing further edits to “Monster in Manhattan” story and posting the second draft.
    Did edits to “Monster in Manhattan” Story and posted it to the workshop group.

  2. Find six more contests and journals to send off to.
    As it turns out, I had a copy where I had already added more magazines so I only needed to add a few more to get to 20.

  3. Pick a writer to contact and get clear about the contact. Ask any necessary questions.
    Spoke with a writer about their personal essay piece and about submitting, etc.

  4. Give three people feedback on the workshop website.
    I did give more feedback to one person. Two more to go.

  5. Write letter to writer.
    I guess I thought I was going to pick a writer one day and actually write them as a goal separately. I ended up doing everything all to together in typical Kate fashion.

  6. Watching the video for, and start working on the next assignment in the LitMagLove class. There is no video. The assignment is to send a story to five different magazines. I’ll have to do that by the end of day Sunday. I’d like to do it tomorrow but the stuff I worked on today took me about 6 or 7 hours and I’ll be at the fellowship thing for too much of the day to be able to do that tomorrow. Especially since I need to do a few more edits to the story and to my base cover letter before I sent it.


Still, I really productive day and I’m pleased about that.


So, here’s what I have left to do this weekend:


  1. Give 2 more people feedback.

  2. Edit “Monster in Manhattan”

  3. Edit my cover letter.

  4. Figure out which other four magazines I’m submitting my story to since I’d already picked one.

  5. Rework my cover letter four times.

  6. Attempt to send my reworked cover letters to the correct magazines along with my story.


*Sighs Deeply*


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Kate

August 2017

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