float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (behold the power of slash)

Master List of FanFics, links to the "chapters" (for lack of a better word) and AO3 if available. Most of my stories are on AO3 but the ones I wrote for specific people are not currently. 

Hawaii 5-0 Danny/Steve )

Hawaii 5-0 Kono/Chin )

Alex/Scott (Hawaii 5-0 actors) RPS  )

Hawaii 5-0 or Related One Shots and/or No Pairings )

Sanctuary  )

X-Men )

Avengers 2012 )


Please let me know if any of the links are wrong. Questions are welcome. Comments are love :D
float_on_alright: boys and their toys (boys and their toys)
I bought about 10 or eleven pen packs today of varying types. I wanted to do some research about my favorite pens especially since the morning pages are supposed to be handwritten. I know I could use any pen for that sort of thing, but if I’m going to do that much handwriting, I want it to be with a pen I like not just a plain BIC pen - no offense to BIC or anything. I bought a bunch of them at the Dollar Store (bomb!) and a few at the grocery store. I got a few pens that are really just for fun - like a set of scented ones (blueberry, strawberry, grape) that are blue, pink, and purple. 

I’ve discovered that Pentel is my favorite brand of pen. I wasn’t in love with their “just right” rollerball pen even though it’s one of the smoothest writing utensils I’ve ever used because I’m an ink snob. I want my ink to be the blackest black, and I want it to be bold and striking and still not bleed through the paper. Of course, I want the writing to be smooth too. That all said, one of their other pens - the EnerGelX or something like that, was amazing. They had a pack of two at the Dollar Tree. 1mm, ink exactly the way I want it, and damn smooth writing. The Inc. R2 .7mm was probably my second favorite, and the Uni-Ball Bold Air came in third. I tried two different “Stylio” pens; one by Sharpie and one by PenMarc (I think I got that right). I liked them, and I think they’ll come in handy at some point, but they weren’t smooth enough for scribbling morning pages. 

The “Just Right” pens would probably make the most sense for the morning pages, but they’re my morning pages, and I can be weird about them if I want. 

I need to write more of my alien story/first draft for the workshop. I need to have it posted to the other workshop site so I can get some feedback this week and start editing by Monday so that it can maybe a have little more work on Tuesday and I can mail it off on Wednesday. While I was out and about, I got a padded envelope that I think will do nicely for sending my manuscript. I’m hoping that helps me be more committed to the task. I really wanted to have it posted to the workshop tonight, but I feel like I’m a long way off from having the story resolved. I feel I may need a couple more thousand words and I know I can get another chunk down tonight. I mean I wrote 1,400 words in it last night, but like, she just got out of the woods. She still needs to get back to her place, figure out how to help the little aliens, and send them safely off and then realize what she’s learned from the experience and show that she’s “grown.” I’m not sure how many words that’s going to take, but I think it’s going to be more than 1,400. Of course, maybe not! 

I should do what I can though. I have to be up early since we’re headed down to the beach in the morning and mom wants to leave by 9:30. I need to shower which will likely take close to an hour, and we have to finish packing the car. At the same time, I slept in until almost 1:30 pm today (I was up until like 3 am writing in my defense), so I don’t know how tired I am and how early I’ll be able to get to sleep. Though, knowing me if I when to bed and committed to going to sleep with my sleep story on, I’d be out in a couple of minutes. Actually, that does sound good. 

Anyway, I’d better get some story writing done. *Peace*

float_on_alright: I don't have a plot. I have caffeine (I don't have a plot. I have caffeine)
I started “The Artist’s Way” Recovery program today. Who knows how this is going to go long term but I suppose I can always start over if I need to. One of the frustrating things is that I can’t read over the “morning pages” which I know are mostly word vomit anyway so it’s not that I want to read them. The thing is, I’d like to count them towards my word goals for the day but they’re to be handwritten, not typed, no one is to see them or read including me, so physically counting the words isn’t an option because there's too much risk of me reading them. Not re-reading your morning pages is part of battling your “Inner Censor” or, The Cruel Critic as I’m starting to think of mine. My inner voice is an asshole y’all. I mean, I always knew that but one of the assignments for this week was to write down what the inner voice came up with when you wrote out “I, (insert name here), am a brilliant prolific writer.” 

And dude? I’m a fucking asshole. One of the things from therapy was being nicer to myself and the truly terrifying part of seeing the things I’ve said about myself in my own head is that I used to be worse. I wish I could understand how I got so hateful towards myself. Like, okay kids were assholes to me and I always felt out of place and awkward, but I don’t think any of them were ever as mean as I was to myself. 

One of the things she recommends is searching for who might have given you these insecurities and fears. Like trace them back to their originators. And while I was picked on for being overweight, a nerd, weird, wearing unfashionable clothes, not understanding personal hygiene for a while (don’t all sixth graders go through this?), etcetera etcetera etecera, I cannot think of a single instance when someone told me my writing was bad or that I should give up. In fact, as I search through my memories to writing classes and workshops, I can’t remember anything but kindness, support, and encouragement. So what the fuck? Did I do this to myself? And if so, how did this happen? How, growing up with a father who still says “when are you gonna write that bestseller?” In a completely, “you can do it so you should do it already” way do I still think of my writing as worthless trash? How did all those supportive, kind words go so far astray?

I had a teacher in high school who drove me to and from the UNC Charlotte campus from the boonies of Rowan County every day for two weeks so that I could participate in a writing workshop. A workshop I remember fondly and still have the booklet with our work and the notecards the participants wrote for me (we all wrote something nice for each participant). That seem teacher essentially created a Creative Writing II class at the high school so I could keep taking a creative writing course. My college professor weren’t really any less supportive. My classmates were supportive. But I guess I spent too much time thinking I would never be able to write a poem half as amazing as any poem Jason Mott ever wrote (he wrote The Returned, which was as a TV series for a minute and yes, we went to college together and I was in several classes with him even though I was a couple of years behind him and he is amazing - as a writer, as a poet, and as a person). 

She talks about parents telling their kids to be “reasonable” but my dad told me to do my best and as long as I was happy I could be a (and this is a direct quote) “Redundant (unemployed) Siberian Shit-Shoveler from Sheffield” for all he cared. How amazing is that? My mother (so long as she continues to believe I’m straight, I guess, who knows what will happen if she ever figures out I’m definitely not that) thinks the sun shines out my ass and I could do anything I wanted including writing Christmas movies for the Hallmark Channel. 

They talk about mean teachers and while I was terrified of Mrs. Teague I don’t remember her ever being discouraging. I had one teacher who wouldn’t call me by my preferred name but her class was also the class that I first truly understood that I wanted to write a book one day (I was in the first grade - about 6 years old) and that’s one of my two clear memories from that class (the other was refusing to answer by my given name instead of my nickname - I wish I still had that spunk 6 year old me had - she was badass). So not her then. My 6th grade English teacher was also a creative writing teacher and she was phenomenal. She chose my essay as a winner so I could be the “Lady” of our medieval castle day. My 7th grade teacher let me stay after school and use his computer to write the story I was supposed to write for his class. It was only supposed to be about five pages, but it was 25 by the time I was done. He even let me turn it in late with no penalty because I was enthusiastic about the project. 

I mean seriously, I cannot think of a single villain in my pursuit of the creative except myself. 

And isn’t that just a bitch? I can’t be mean to myself about it when I’m supposed to be helping myself heal. I mean beating myself up about it will not do me any good. I wish I had someone to blame though. I wish there was someone I could point to and go “There! That’s it! That’s the moment I started telling myself I could never really write! And it is his/her fault.” It would be so nice to have an external person to blame. But I don’t. And so I’ll just have to find a way to 1) forgive myself and 2) encourage and be kind to myself. 

I see a lot more affirmations in my future. 

float_on_alright: procrastination is hard work (procrastination is hard work)
 Thunder:

As a resident of “The South,” aka the southern states of the United States (as if there are no other “southern” regions in all the world, but whatever) I was accustomed to thunderstorms. They’d been a staple in my life for the last twenty-five years, at least, and I really didn’t think anything of them. Usually. Sure, I’d get out of a swimming pool for thunder. Lightening followed as a rule so you really didn’t want to risk being in an open body of water, but otherwise, I didn’t make no never mind. Again, usually.

But as I woke, gasping, the house rattling with the continued booming, I was sure I was about to die. I’d been dead asleep and there was little that would wake me up. This went on. This couldn’t possibly be thunder. It was still going. The house was still shaking. I’d never been in an earthquake so I didn’t know what that was like, but I thought maybe I was finding out now and I should get to shelter in door frame or something because couldn’t be good. The booming overhead though, I didn’t think it was an earthquake. This was probably a plane. And it was probably about to crash into my house. And kill me where I lay in my bed. I closed my eyes again and thought, “Well, if this is it, at least it will be quick.”

The booming faded a little and finally after a few more seconds, stopped. Then, the unmistakable crack of lightening shook my room again but nothing fell to the ground and nothing lit on fire. I was going to live after all. Another bout of thunder rolled over the house, but it wasn’t as intense, it wasn’t as long, and it wasn’t rattling. Just a thunderstorm now. The clouds could no longer bear their heavy weight and I heard the gush of rain against my windows. I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to sleep. 

float_on_alright: I understand which if i think about it disturbs me (I understand which if i think about it d)
 

I hit the resistance again today. After having not felt it for a few days, it was annoying to have it back. That’s okay though. I know that these types of things are common. I’m glad to have had some days without the resistance. I’ve read a little more of the book “The Artist’s Way” and I really do want to try her program. At the same time I feel incredibly overwhelmed about the upcoming things I have going on in my life. The next two weeks only involve a couple of weekend trips and a few appointments, but then it’s back to work during the busy season. Fall is always crazy in a way that Spring just never is. We’ll have the week in Atlanta for our sales kick off and then a couple of weeks later I’ll be taking off for DragonCon, plus there will be a visit from J who is coming in from California right before DragonCon. Then September and October tend to be my busiest work months. November is crazy. Honestly between the second week in August and the second week in December, I rarely have time to take a breath. And yes, I realize that there is never a “good time” to start a 12 week program but I think some times are just seriously worse than others. And fall is definitely the worst and busiest part of my year, bar none. At least while I’m working for Scholastic.


At the same time, I have a story to try to write, re-write, edit, and mail by July 25th. And if I’m blocked, I’m screwed. I really wanted to have the first draft written by Wednesday and I have no idea if that is going to happen. If I could get the first draft done by Wednesday, I know I could mail it by the following Tuesday (the 25th) or Wednesday at the latest and I feel like that’s enough time for it to make it to Atlanta by the 1st of August (the following Tuesday). Granted, I supposed I always have the option to just cancel the workshop. It’s just that I know I’d be canceling out of fear. The fear is what has me blocked anyway. It’s hard to be creative when you’re just so damned afraid. The “I have to write something good!” is so hateful to my creative brain and I know I’m not being fair to myself. At the same time, I don’t know how to stop. This lady says she knows how to help. That she can teach that part. I don’t know if she can tell me how to be a better storyteller, I think that’s something I have to learn other places and practice. But she says she does have a system for becoming consistently creative without all the blocked nonsense all the time. She calls it a recovery program, like AA or something. And I think I believe her.


And that’s the thing right? Like, what if she’s right? What if she doesn’t know exactly how to loosen up the strangle hold the inner critic has on my creative self? If that’s the case, how can I possibly justify putting it off?


Not to mention, as frustrating as my job can be and as busy as it can be, I only spend 40 hours there a week. I don’t take my job home with me, ever, and even if I stay until we close at 5pm every day of the week, that still puts me home in the evening with plenty of time to do creative work. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from the last 8 months or so, it’s that I absolutely cannot give up my creative pursuits because to give them up would be to give up on my mental health and that is something I know I cannot do.


She forewarns that it can be a difficult, emotionally exhausting journey, one that I’ll likely want to quit. Which means the other thing standing in my way is fear. Fear of what I’ll find and what I’ll feel and what I’ll have to face. Those aren’t things I can take lightly. I know everyone has a shitstorm of issues inside them - maybe some more than others but still I doubt anyone has been untouched by some sort of trauma at some point. I think we all build up walls of lies in some form or fashion so that we don’t have to face the things we don’t like about ourselves. It’s probably pretty normal to fear that too.


I fear I’ll be too tired from work to be able to handle whatever crises this thing makes me face. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to face what I need to face. I’m afraid I’ll quit.


I mean, I can’t fail if I don’t try, right? Which is, of course, exactly the attitude I’ve been hiding behind for years that I promised myself I wouldn’t let win (at least not on a regular basis anyway) earlier this year.


On top of all this, I go back to work in like two weeks and I’m dreading it. Part of me looks forward to seeing Emily at work all the time and I certainly don’t want to stay on unemployment no matter how much I wish I could retire already. The last few weeks have positively flown by and I know the next two weeks will be gone even faster. I’m trying to savor them, of course but they’ll still go by quickly. I keep hoping that by the end of these next two weeks, when I’m thinking, “Yup, back to work tomorrow,” that I’ll be sort of ready for it. Maybe not bored with being off exactly, I don’t think that’s possible, but ready. Maybe if Fall and Spring were reversed and spring was the busier season and fall was quiet and I could “ease” into going back to work, that would be more likely. And granted, it’s not impossible. It’s a six week break and that’s no small break. It’s really, really not. I mean, how many people get that kind of time off? Teachers, of course, get a bit more than that, but they take their jobs home with them every day. I’d bet those kids are always on their minds. Not to mention all the other crap they put up with, like parents and the government making dumb laws about standardized tests. Granted, I have to put up with a lot of Parent-Teacher-Associations/Organizations members. That is a mixed bag, I can tell you that. Although, so is working with teachers, librarians, and staff.


Sigh, I’m on a tangent. I’m still not sure what I’m going to do. I don’t want to start something I’m not committed to doing but I don’t want to not commit to something because I’m being a scared little wuss. I could probably debate this all night. Go round and round with myself about it but I’m not sure that it would help. I think I’ll go try a prompt and then maybe read for a bit. I’ve got a dentist appointment tomorrow so I’ll have to be in bed at an almost reasonable hour tonight.

float_on_alright: drink tea and read (drink tea and read)
 
I did the computer mouse the other day so I thought I'd do the prompt as it was originally described and not as I'd inadvertently read it. It didn't seem right to "check it off" without doing it properly. 

The perspective of a mouse in a cupboard:

The tall ones weren't supposed to be home this early, Fur the 750th of the clan of Browns, thought to himself. They were supposed to be gone for a few more movements of the sun; he was pretty sure. Instead, they hadn't been gone long enough for the sun to have shifted much at all. He could tell from the line of the sun and shadows created by the small crack where the door of the cupboard didn't quite seal all the way closed. He was fairly certain that they hadn't heard him yet though. They seemed to be yelling at each other, and one had slammed the door closed after they'd entered. No, if he remained very still he might just be okay until they had left or gone to bed again. It was hard to understand what they were upset about exactly. The tall ones argued about such strange things. 

"You told me that you'd had the car taken in!" the child bearing one of the two shouted. 

"I did!" the non-child bearing one answered. 

Fur knew they had their own for such distinctions, but he didn't have time to sort out all of their languages. 

"Well then, why the hell did they not miss that we were nearly out of radiator fluid!"

"I don't know, Greta. And I'm sorry. They told me they checked all the fluids. Look," the one showed 'Greta' something he'd pulled from his pocket. Fur didn't quite understand what the slim block could show this Greta, but Greta looked. "See? A charge from the mechanic from yesterday." 

Greta let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, William." All the anger seemed to rush from the tall one in a whoosh. 

"It's okay," William answered. "I know you're worried about your sister, but there's nothing you can do for her right now anyway. And we'll be there soon." 

"Yes, I know you're right." 

"Your sister is going to be okay, love. I promise." 

"You can't promise that." 

Fur understood worry for brothers and sisters. He had some forty siblings somewhere. And several had died already. Theirs was not an easy life. 

"Why don't we get changed out of these clothes and then we'll go from there." The one called William said instead. 

"Okay," Greta nodded her head. William put his mouth on Greta's in a gentle, almost hesitant way. Fur had seen them do this before but didn't understand. The gesture never seemed to follow the same pattern. Sometimes it was all encompassing what they did and led to what Fur thought was mating, but sometimes it led to nothing but a smile or a wave goodbye. Such strange creatures, the tall ones. Fur hoped this meant that he would be free to move soon. 

Greta and William stood together a few moments more and then moved out of the room and up the stairs. Fur breathed a deep sigh of relief and scurried back into the crevice in the wall he'd come through hoping the tall ones would be gone for a while. He senses if he came back after the sun disappeared and reappeared that he would be able to raid their cabinets to his heart's content. He would just have to have a little patience. 
float_on_alright: clint doesn't want spoilers (clint doesn't like spoilers)
I was not even a little bit in the mood to write today. I wasn’t in the mood to do anything today if I’m honest. Well, anything except read. I finally got to the book I’d been wanting to get to in the series and it was everything I’d hoped it would be. *Happy Sigh* 

On the other hand, I’ve been feeling a bit miserable. I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t written anything new or if I’m feeling like I’ve gotten in over my head with a few of the things I’ve signed up for over the last six months or so (possible since I’ll now have regularly scheduled accountability and mastermind calls possibly for the rest of my life and I honestly don’t know how that happened to me), or maybe because for the first time in months I didn’t have anything immediately pressing and I didn’t know what to do with myself, or if maybe I’m just hormonal (that’s certainly possible too). 

I don’t feel like I thought I would feel having finished the Lit Mag Love course though I think it’s largely because I’m afraid of what comes next. Part of the deal was that you would get her help until such a time as you get published in one of the journals you thought would do well for your work. Which means there’s a high probability that one of my stories will, in the next year or so, get published in a journal somewhere. Which, dear God, what was I thinking? I mean, I know what I was thinking. And I know that I do actually want to get published. I know that I do, but the idea of it is terrifying. 

And that is probably why I’ve been miserable and wallowing for a large part of today. The idea of successfully getting something I wrote in a journal is terrifying. I mean, I’m likely to be rejected for a while. I’m likely going to need to do a lot more work writing a lot more stories before I get there, but it actually feels like there’s a real chance I could get there. If I'm honest, there’s one journal that I think my story would really be suited for that I sent it to. I had only planned to send my story to just that journal but I don’t have enough other things ready to be able to submit other stories other places. 

I know I’ve already talked about the five submissions thing so I won’t get back into that for right now but I guess I just really think that one journal should take my story. Which means I know I’ll be frustrated, sad, and disappointed if they’re not interested. I know I can’t take stuff like that personally. I really, really do. And I know that my writing needs a lot of work so I should just remember that this is part of the learning process but I know there will be a moment when I’ll be hurt. But, I handled it when my Mrs. Claus story got rejected and I’ll handle it when it this one does too. I’m just hopeful that this one is closer to being the kind of story journals will say yes than the last one. And that the next one will be closer. And the rejections will simply be opportunities to make my stories better, nothing more and nothing less. 

Granted I was in a decent mood until mom wanted me to leave the house - I mean, I had to put on clothes including a boob prison. I just wore a sports bra which is slightly less aggravating, but I still wasn’t happy about having to “people” today. I just really, really didn’t want to people today. Not that the people we peopled with weren’t lovely. I just didn’t want to do it. I need to make myself a general schedule for the rest of the summer so that I’m productive every day in a way that feels good to me. I was overwhelmed productive the last few days and that didn’t feel good and then today I wasn’t remotely productive. I mean, I washed a few dishes and I listened to that book. I know listening to a fourteen hour book (on a 1.25 setting) in about 23 hours is sort of productive but I know if I don’t work on my projects over the next two and half weeks, I’ll be mad at myself for “wasting” the time. Not to mention that I really do have to have that stuff put together for the DragonCon writing workshop by August first. And actually I’d like to have it done before I go visit my friend Casey the last weekend of this month (good grief, where does the time go?) which is only like 15 days away. That’s two weeks and a tiny bit. 

Seriously, where does the time go?

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
I’ve been staring at my little phone screen playing games for several hours while listening to my book, which after hours on the computer the last few days and a lack of sleep has left them tired and a little sore. I shouldn't have strained them with that tiny screen and all those tiny Mah Jong tiles, ugh. 

I am proud of myself though because I think I made it through all the coursework and I definitely did all five of the necessary work applications for the week and I’ve still had time to read. Goodness, it’s nice being off. I know I only have a few weeks left, I’ll be back to work three Monday’s from now, but I intend to thoroughly enjoy the time off I have left. I’d like to spend time at the pool here and do a lot of reading. I hope to write as well. My brain has been in editing mode for the most part for the last week or so and that makes it hard for me to switch to creation mode writing wise. Since I’ve submitted my story to a bunch of places, I really can’t do anything else with it until it comes back to me I created a spreadsheet so I could keep track of where it was submitted. I'd hate to end up submitting it to the same journal by accident or something else similarly sucky. 

I have no idea what will happen with it or what I hear back but I’m sure that it will be good experience regardless. Rejection is part of writing and the earlier I learn that the better. 

I don’t understand why, almost a week later, I still hear fireworks going off. I mean this is ridiculous. The puppy is barking up a storm over it and I can't even be mad at her. How is she supposed to know that no one is trying to blow up the neighborhood? Plus I’m sure there are a ton of dogs barking out there… yeah, I think I hear one now… so she’ll definitely have to respond to that. Poor thing. And poor mom because I know she’ll have a hell of a hard time sleeping through that. 

Anyway, my plan is to write 4000 new words this week so I’ll definitely need to spend some time focusing on being creative. I’ve got a prompt book that I think I might try and I’m also thinking about picking up where I left off in “The Artist’s Way” since I know there are prompts in there as well. If I remember correctly, she recommended reading the book all the way through before starting on the activities so I may stick with the prompt book for now. It’s got 3 prompts per day for 366 days so there should be plenty there. 

I can’t decide if I want to go through the prompts methodically or if I want to jump around and try random things. I’m usually a jump around randomly kind of person but I’m thinking of going through them methodically to push myself. Sometimes I skip prompts because they don’t inspire me or what have you, but I think it could be really good for my creative muscles to at least do some free writing with everything in there, to really work to pull out something even if nothing comes to mind initially. Plus it’s a eBook so it would probably be easier to keep track of what I have and have not done if I went in order. I could jump to locations or pages and highlight the things I’ve done but it’s not like I can physically flip through pages and put my finger on a random prompt. 

But not tonight. Tonight I am going to listen to more of my book (I finished one and am now onto the next). I’m really anxious to get to the 6th one. I’m really enjoying the 5th one so far (it may be my favorite so far, though that’s hard to say for sure). I had picked up the sixth one and started reading it and I was loving it but then I realized that there was a ton of stuff I’d missed and if I was going to have any hope of really keeping up with the side plots, giant cast of characters, several different pantheons of gods, all the different countries and territories as well as understand the history of the two characters the book focuses on, I was going to need to read the other ones first. The series has been building these two up for the last like four books so I’m glad that I went back. Not to mention that I’ve enjoyed the books so far. All of them have had huge amounts of plot happening like so I think I would’ve gotten lost if I’d tried to just keep going. I mean I read the first two about four or five years ago so I don’t remember them perfectly but I remembered enough to be able to follow the third one well. 

Plus, they’re all so funny anyway. There was no point in not reading them when I’m enjoying them so well. I’m not sure why I didn't continue on reading them after I picked up the first two. Though I think at the time the level of violence and gore was just too much for me, for whatever reason. Granted, there's probably more of a difference between 26 - 27 year old me than 31 year old me than I cognitively recognize because I'm still making a lot of the same dumb mistakes and in a lot of the same spirals, but that’s not something I particularly want to examine right this moment. I’ll probably never want to but it’s probably something I should make myself do at least a little of before I go back to work. But again, not tonight. Tonight I’m going to read. 

float_on_alright: i'm known as actually (Default)
 

I think I’m going to make. I found two more places to submit to, reworked my cover letters, and fired away. I also did the next assignment which was to write the people whose opinions of your writing really matter on a 1 inch by 1 inch piece of paper. I don’t have a ruler so I had to wing it, but I figure no one can complain about me putting three people on the list. I mean, that should be short enough to fit on a 1 square inch piece of paper. Especially if I shortened their names or wrote them really small, right? Anyway, while I’m sure the visual reference is helpful, and I might do it one day, I think the message of the assignment was clear. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m a “spirit of the law” kind of girl and that ain’t gonna change anytime soon.


Part of me wants to power through the other two assignments tonight, but I think I need some rest. I think that I’ll be able to complete them tomorrow more easily and quickly having got some real sleep.


Tomorrow will also hopefully involve some writing something that isn’t a journal entry, but we’ll see. I’m also eager to finish the book I’m listening to. It’s interesting to me that the narrator of the stories isn’t a narrator I’ve been thrilled with in the past but I still think I’d rather stick with listening to the stories instead of reading them. I’m not totally sure, but I am leaning that way. Normally I find her barely tolerable and it’s not like she’s doing such a better job on these than she did on the others I’ve heard by her. Maybe it’s just that these books are so much better than the other books I’ve heard her read. Not that the other books were bad, they weren’t. It’s just that those other books were… “well, that was fun” as opposed to what I’m listening to now which is more like, how can I get five more minutes listening to this book. I know, I’ll empty the dishwasher, that way “I’m being productive” so I won’t feel guilty about how I’m spending this time but I can still listen to the book.


What I’m reading now is by one of my all time favorite writers, Shelly Laurenston. I just relistened to her “Pride” series, which is probably my favorite series by her though her “Call of Crows” series is fantastic too and I enjoyed her “Magnus Pack” series too. This series is under her pen name (I think it’s her pen name and not the other way round), G.A. Aiken. It’s Dragons and witches and warlords and shit. Where her shapeshifter books take place in modern, earth times, Dragon Kin takes place in a world of Dragon Gods and swords. Both epically fun though. You have to have an affinity for cursing, bloodshed, raunchy language, and sort of questionable or unstable main characters, but I find them hilarious and exciting. She’s one of the few authors I still read that doesn’t really pass the “But is it gay?” question. She does have an odd side character (I can think of 2 for sure and a 3rd I suspect) who turns out to be gay, but they’re not developed. Still though, I enjoy her main characters. Her female characters are especially fun to me because they’re usually vicious (though in different ways, sometimes with violence, but sometimes in craftiness) and funny.  I mean, one of her characters has the moniker “The Blood Queen” and she’s actually a queen. “The Viper” and “The Beast” are really fun too. “The Beast” is plain and bespectacled and brilliant. One of the characters in the “Pride” series is famous for her favorite saying which she got from her father, “Time to start the killing.” And Cella Malone is a former marine, a bare knuckles boxer, and a hockey player. There’s all kinds of “politics” between shifters and packs and families and it’s just fun. She’s also suppppper diverse with characters who are of a bunch of different backgrounds and descents.


And I’m officially rambling. But seriously, I love that author. She’s got another series she’s going to be doing soon, I think it’s coming out next year that has me really excited.


So now that I’ve blown off some steam writing about the author of the book I want to be reading, I’m going to go listen to the book for a bit and get some sleep.


float_on_alright: apologize in advance as I slowly go nuts (apologize in advance as I slowly go nuts)

Here’s yesterday’s list for the weekend:


  1. Give 2 more people feedback. Check.
  2. Edit “Monster in Manhattan.” Check.
  3. Edit my cover letter. Check.
  4. Figure out which other four magazines I’m submitting my story to since I’d already picked one. Picked five, couldn’t use three. Found another one I couldn’t use. Picked another story for for a flash fiction magazine only to find they’re currently closed for submissions. Found one that is a bit absurdist and submitted a story that honestly wouldn’t be appropriate for any other lit magazine I’ve ever seen but just might fit there. Two more submissions to figure out.
  5. Rework my cover letter four times. Didn’t need a cover letter for one magazine. Reworked it for my other submission. Likely two more reworks to go.
  6. Attempt to send my reworked cover letters to the correct magazines along with my story. Again, three down, two to go.


Once I get that done there are three more assignments to the online course, but I’ve looked over them and from what I can tell, they’re manageable. If I can figure out the last couple of submissions tomorrow, I feel confident I can finish the rest in time. Of course, that'll have to be worked around the fellowship thing with mom in the morning and volunteering in the library in the afternoon. I'm going to be so thankful to be shelving tomorrow and listening to my book.

float_on_alright: don't ruin my story with your logic (keep your logic out of my stories)

 

My goals for Friday and Saturday (I originally posted them separately but meh) were:


  1. Find something to post to Becoming Writer Workshop. Recommend doing further edits to “Monster in Manhattan” story and posting the second draft.
    Did edits to “Monster in Manhattan” Story and posted it to the workshop group.

  2. Find six more contests and journals to send off to.
    As it turns out, I had a copy where I had already added more magazines so I only needed to add a few more to get to 20.

  3. Pick a writer to contact and get clear about the contact. Ask any necessary questions.
    Spoke with a writer about their personal essay piece and about submitting, etc.

  4. Give three people feedback on the workshop website.
    I did give more feedback to one person. Two more to go.

  5. Write letter to writer.
    I guess I thought I was going to pick a writer one day and actually write them as a goal separately. I ended up doing everything all to together in typical Kate fashion.

  6. Watching the video for, and start working on the next assignment in the LitMagLove class. There is no video. The assignment is to send a story to five different magazines. I’ll have to do that by the end of day Sunday. I’d like to do it tomorrow but the stuff I worked on today took me about 6 or 7 hours and I’ll be at the fellowship thing for too much of the day to be able to do that tomorrow. Especially since I need to do a few more edits to the story and to my base cover letter before I sent it.


Still, I really productive day and I’m pleased about that.


So, here’s what I have left to do this weekend:


  1. Give 2 more people feedback.

  2. Edit “Monster in Manhattan”

  3. Edit my cover letter.

  4. Figure out which other four magazines I’m submitting my story to since I’d already picked one.

  5. Rework my cover letter four times.

  6. Attempt to send my reworked cover letters to the correct magazines along with my story.


*Sighs Deeply*


float_on_alright: books who says you can't buy love (who says you can't buy love)
So what did I do tonight after dinner instead of adding my journals and contests to my lists or writing? I watched an episode of Pretty Little Liars, which, actually I’d already watched half of, so that really wasn’t that bad and I read the second half of a book I’d started when I was laying out at this beach this morning. I wish my Kindle kept track of how long it took me to read a book. I mean, I know I get distracted or interrupted while the book is open so it wouldn’t be perfect, but I’d really love to see how many approximate reading minutes it took me to read something. I know I could time myself, but I get too distracted. I’d forget to start the thing when I was reading or I’d forget to stop it when I had to put the book down to do something else. Amazon must have some of that information right? I mean, it tells you when you open the book how long it typically takes to read. Although, they are probably basing that on the idea that people typically read so many words (I think it’s like 350) per minute and then dividing the number of words in the book by that. Or maybe the number of pages decided by a minute per page (which I think is about average?). Great, now I really want to know what they base these things on. That’s a question for Google later. 

Tomorrow is Friday and I haven’t done any of the feedback pieces I need to do and I feel like there's another goal for the week that I set for myself that I have since forgotten. That happens sometimes, I set a goal on Monday and by Tuesday I’ve completely forgotten I’ve set it. I have, on more occasions than I’d like to admit, gone to check what I wrote on Monday for my goals to see if I’ve done any of it. After getting caught on Friday way behind on my goals on quite a few embarrassing occasions, I have tried to make a habit of checking the goal list on Wednesday to help me stay on track. This week at the beach I decided to watch XXX: Return of Xander Cage instead - you can judge me if you want but I’m having some seriously shippy feelings about some of the ladies and Ruby Rose. 

I watched something else recently that was giving me a lot of shippy feelings … Power Rangers maybe. Hmm. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll remember it later. I do love shippy feelings. 

Ohhhhh, you know it wasn’t something I was watching, it was something I was reading. I got the first issue of “Spell on Wheels” a few days ago. I don’t know how I hadn’t come across it yet, but it was a marvelous opening issue. I know there are only like 5 issues so far and I’m unsure if it’s continuing any further. I’m kind of annoyed I’m just now finding out about this thing. It’s about three witches who are friends and roommates who have some of their things taken from them and they have to go on a quest to get there stuff back. Soooo many shippy feelings. I’m looking forward to reading more of that. I also read some more Lumberjanes and I just love that series so, so much. 

So my goals for tomorrow are as follows:

Find something to post to Becoming Writer Workshop. Recommend doing further edits to “Monster in Manhattan” story and posting the second draft. 
Find six more contests and journals to send off to. 
Pick a writer to contact and get clear about the contact. Ask any necessary questions. 
Give three people feedback on the workshop website.

Goals for Saturday:

Write letter to writer. 
Watching the video for, and start working on the next assignment in the LitMagLove class. 

Goals for Sunday:

Work more on LitMagLove
File for unemployment

I’ve got the fellowship thing going on too so it’s going to be a busy weekend. I won’t be able to stay up all night and work on these goals either because I’ll have to be up around 8 or 8:30 Saturday and Sunday. Those aren’t terrible times to be up but it definitely means that I can’t stay up until 4am. It’s hard enough for me to stay awake through this stuff as it is, but it will get my mom off my back for a little while at least. 

I was logging my reading on my library’s summer reading program--they have a program for adults--and I saw that the “goal” for the summer was to earn 1,000 points for reading and other activities like volunteering. They have reading lists you can do too, but none of them particularly called to me. At any rate, I’m currently at a little over 3,000 points so I must’ve made that 1000 goal a bit a go. I know other adults have kids and don’t get summers off like I do so it isn’t like it’s hard for me like it can be for other people. Still, I have to laugh at myself because I finished two books today and listened to about 2 hours of another. I know there are people who read like that all the time. I wish I could speed read, but actually the rate at which I read a page is not much over average. I just spend so much time doing it that I end up reading a ton. 

I was going to go to bed early tonight so that I could wake up a little earlier tomorrow (and by “earlier”, I mean before 11am) to get started on my goals. It would be great if I could finish the Friday list and get started on the Saturday list tomorrow but we’ll see how that goes. I honestly cannot believe that tomorrow is Friday. These days have been going by so quickly! I’m looking forward to Wynonna for sure. And Killjoys, though I haven’t watched last week’s yet. Man, I have so many things I want to do! I know I’ll look forward to having my real paychecks again when I go back to work, but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to fit all the things I want to do in before we go back. 

float_on_alright: lust for books (lust for books)
Today was our last day at the beach for awhile, at least for me and mom. Mom can come back pretty much any time but it’s a little more difficult for me to pick up and go whenever. Someone has to watch the dog and my mom has a really hard time being alone. She’s thrown tantrums more or less. She tries though, when she knows something is important to me and I give her a lot of notice, not to make me feel guilty. But if it’s me and dad off on an adventure without her, she feels lonely AND left out and it’s just too much. 

I digress. Today was the last day so I got up “early” to spend some time lazing in the pool with Daddy and cook under the sun. I think I mostly managed to avoid getting sunburned. I’m a little sunburned on my face where I initially forgot to put on sunscreen, but it’s just a bit of pink on the forehead and I think there might be a couple of pink spots on my back. I’m going to try to get up a little early tomorrow too so that I can spend a little time in the sun reading before we go. I just love the sun baking pool water off my body while I daydream or read. 

I know I have work to do, really I do. And with the fellowship (church type) stuff going on this weekend, I’m going to have a lot of my time taken up Saturday and Sunday so I’m really going to have to buckle down when I get home tomorrow. Like for real. 

It’s not that I don’t like the work. I do like the work. Sometimes I feel discouraged and sometimes I get stressed but it’s only because I care about it so much. Really, I love the work. I’m just terrified of it. I’m pretty sure I’ve sung this song before but it always makes me feel better to talk about being afraid of it. It reminds that it is okay to be scared of it as long as I’m still doing it. 

Everyone needs me to shut down the super bright light for now so I’ll just have to go back to work tomorrow. 

float_on_alright: weather forecast for tonight - dark (weather forecast for tonight)
Update on the fireworks, there are a ton of people putting off fireworks right at the beach and lemme tell you something, South Carolina Fireworks are not dicking around. There were so many people putting off good fireworks that I honestly felt like I should’ve had to pay for the pleasure of seeing the show. It’s been about an hour since they started and they’re still going out there. I can hear them bursting about 50 yards away from our condo balcony. It was glorious. I really do love fireworks. My mom is like a kid in a candy store or waiting up for Santa so I must have gotten that love from her. Dad likes to tease her about it but dad likes to tease her about pretty much everything. 

Tomorrow is our last day here. I may try to get up earlier than I have been in order to enjoy the sun before it becomes midday brutal. I love sunbathing and reading. Dad always wants to sit in the pool and talk or sit beside the pool and talk and mom likes to sit on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water and talk. Not that I mind that, I enjoy that too. I’d just like to do more laying quietly and reading than they do. It’s one of my favorite pastimes and it’s only available to do properly a few months out of the year. Granted, I’m not much less cranky about being interrupted reading in another form or fashion either. 

The worst is when someone, usually Dad (mom always says my name a few times before she starts talking), starts talking to me about something and I don’t realize they’re talking to me until they start asking me questions. Listen, if my book is open, you do not have my attention in any way shape or form and you’re going to have to say everything you just said all over again. Sometimes my mouth answers even though my brain is still very much immersed in whatever it is I’m reading. That’s the worst because whoever was talking to me thinks that I’m in agreement with them when in reality I have absolutely no idea that they were even talking, let alone what they said. I’ve gotten in trouble for not doing something “I said I would do” when they asked me while I was reading. Not bad trouble, just annoyed with me trouble. “I asked you to empty the dishwasher.” “When?” “Just a few minutes ago. You said you would.” “No, I didn’t.” “Yes, you did.” “I’ve been reading. I didn’t hear you ask me anything.” There face is usually something like >_< 

I really do love reading and when I am in a book, really in a book, and that movie is playing in my head it is hell trying to get my attention and keep it. Even if you pull me away, I’m usually slow to leave and quick to jump back. I recommend making sure that I have marked a place in my book and closed it and put it down before you try to engage in a conversation. Even then, there's really no guarantee that I’m going to “with you.” There’s a good chance I’m going to be, well, mentally in my book, wondering about what’s going to happen next. 

I love that feeling. That feeling of transportation to another world, that sense of virtual reality that comes with really getting in a story. More than anything I want to create that for others. Pull them and and take them on an adventure that doesn't let them go. That brings them back again, again to the heart of the characters and the world. If I could manage that, even if it’s just for a few people, I’d be overjoyed. That’s why I need to get back in my writing habit again. I can’t do that if I don’t practice. Some people have that talent naturally and I wish I had a little more of naturally but that doesn’t me I can’t learn. I can learn. I just have to work. I have to work hard. I have a lot to do to get ready for a lot of things, I just have be to brave and determined. I just have to not give up.

This will do for today I think, but I need to be back tomorrow. And the next day. 

float_on_alright: claudia wide eyed (claudia the eyes)
I’ve gotten like nothing done today. Literally nothing. Okay I read a book. I’m not sure that counts for anything. I mean, I love it. I love reading, the book was good. And as I mentioned, I’m totes in reading mode for the moment. I need to track my progress for my MAC goals before I forget. I’ve literally spent about 15 hours of the last 36 reading. We’re watching Monster Trucks tonight and waiting for the fireworks to start. I can’t tell if it's cloudy out there tonight of it that’s just the fog/condensation built up on the glass doors of the balcony. It looks pretty cloudy which may be why there were so many people putting off the fireworks last night. Like if they knew the weather wouldn’t be good for fireworks tonight, they just went ahead and did them yesterday? I guess we’ll see if they set anything off tonight since it’s almost dark. 

And the first sounds of fireworks hit the air. Guess that question is solved. I can’t seem them at the moment but I’m not sure I’ll be able to from the condo. It might be that I’d have to go downstairs on the beach to see them. I do like fireworks. Though I understand why people are nervous of them and why they trigger people with PTSD. 

Monster Trucks is a cute movie, in case you were wondering. I’m gonna see if I can see some fireworks. Happy Fireworks Day for my US folks. 

float_on_alright: I keep hitting the escape button but I'm still here (escape button still here)
Ugh, I don’t know if it’s because the only time I’ve had to myself is when I’ve been asleep in the mornings and my folks are out the door or if it’s because I just needed a break after the sprint I had on Friday, but either way it’s damned annoying. Of course the other part of the trouble is that I’m also currently in one of my “reading phases” I finished the second half a book, read another entire book, and then started another. When I’m in a reading mood it’s tricky for me to leave it for anything else.

The beach is amazing, of course, even if it’s packed full. Fourth of July and most of North and South Carolina are around here somewhere. 

And now I can’t even stay up and write like I want because I would be keeping someone else awake if I’m anywhere but the bathroom. And I did consider sitting on the toilet (with the lid closed) to type for a little while but unfortunately the seat caves in if you sit on it and keeps popping in weird ways because the plastic isn’t sturdy and I’m a big girl so I’m afraid I’m going to break it. *Heaves a Sigh*. I could go downstairs, maybe, but I don’t want to be down there with no bra. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. Guess I'll maybe go listen to an audiobook for a bit. 
float_on_alright: clint is a carnie and a thief and would fit in with wallstreet (clint is a carnie and a thief and would)
So here I am writing to you from Myrtle Beach. The waves look pretty fierce today and it’s overcast but I’m loving the sounds of the waves against the shore and kids playing down below. It’s so nice just to be here and since no one else is here just yet, it’s also quiet. I really should’ve used more of my time for writing but I used it for reading instead. Sometimes a girl just needs a fix I guess… if that girl is me and her drug of choice is reading. I love writing, I love working on stories, sometimes I even love editing, but I am honest-to-God addicted to reading. No way could I ever give it up. Physical books, ebooks, audiobooks, comic books, fanfiction, articles, backs of cereal boxes… That reminds me, I was supposed to be keeping tracking of the pages I’ve read outside of just my books this year. I did a good job for maybe a month or two but now I’ve totally slacked off. I guess I could start back up now, but I’m not sure I will. I have so many other things going on right now that I just don’t think there’s one more thing I can put on my list. 

I have about a month before I have to go back to work, assuming I don’t get hired sooner by another company. I know that’s actually a good chunk of time. I know that. And I’ll certainly be glad to make the money I make when I’m working as opposed to being on unemployment, it’s just that I’m lazy and I like being off and sleeping in and staying up late and I’d love to do that forever. I also need to make more time for writing than I have been. It’s weird I know I want to write and then I sit down to write and I put it off to do something else. I think writing itself scares me sometimes even though I totally love it. I guess because I care so much. Because even when you’re not talking about yourself there’s still so much of yourself in writing that it feels like people don’t like you if they don’t like what you’ve written. Criticism, for all it’s about your story, ends up feeling like it’s about you. 

I read the Four Agreements earlier this year and my favorite was “don’t take anything personally.” It’s never about you. It’s always about the other person and how they perceive the world and themselves. What I’ve read about Buddhism has something similar about how those things that you find frustrating or annoying in others is really because you’re seeing something of yourself in that person - something that you don’t like about yourself. And I think, for the most part, that’s really true too. 

Here’s the thing though, it’s a hard balance to walk because just because the critic isn’t personal that doesn’t mean the critic isn’t wrong. You have to find a way to sort through criticism for the helpful advice without letting the suggestions for improvement - or the praise for that matter - get to you too much. Praise can be just as difficult as criticism to overcome. Sometimes because it makes you believe you don’t need the criticism but I think sometimes it’s because you’re trying too hard to replicate what went right in the good parts to let yourself write the crap you sometimes need to write to get to the good stuff. The more crap you write the more gold you’ll find. Which makes sense. I always thought the more you wrote the better you got at it, which in some sense is true but I think also it’s just about statistics. The more cards you have in your hands, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to put a good hand together. Poker may have limits on how many cards you can hold in your hands and how many times you can draw and put back, but writing doesn’t. The only limits writing has are the ones you put on it. And by “you” in all this, I do mean me. Obviously. 

I’d like to get some more written on my hopefully one day novel. I’d written a version of what may be chapter five but after re-reading it, I’ve found I don’t like it. Well, not so much “don’t like it” as it isn’t quite working. There are pieces of it that do but on a whole there needs to be more action and less  contemplation. I think the wrong character is being introduced too or rather the wrong conversation is happening. I’m not entirely sure how I know that or why I feel that way, but I’m deciding to trust my instincts on it and rewrite it. I’ve already written a little bit of it and I like the re-written part better so far. Granted, we’re talking about 100 words of the second draft as compared to the 1200 word first draft but still. It’s working better. 

I’m also working on the second draft of my Magical Girls story. I need a better title and to fix up the grammar. I can’t use “Grammarly” on my iPad which makes me wish I’d carted my laptop down here a little bit but I think there’s an public access computer in this hotel somewhere that I can probably use in the next couple of days so that I can get it fixed up and posted to the Lit Mag Love group. I think I really only absolutely have to have the first page ready. I have no idea if I’ll make all the work in time but I am going to try. 

I’m thankful for the time we spent hanging out and watching Killjoys while we were in Raleigh because it allowed me the time I needed to my job applications for my unemployment status for the week. Having those done is such a weight off my shoulders. Especially for yesterday when I was making lunch with my dad and then driving to the beach. It’s about a 3 hour trip which isn’t much at all but with getting out of the hotel, getting to hug everyone one more time at the mall, then driving over to where dad was working so we could get food and then head over to his hotel, then make some lunch and spend some time with him, AND then drive three hours only to have to drag in two weeks worth of luggage plus a couple of things my dad gave me to bring here for him, I didn't get settled in the condo until around 8:30 or 9 and I still needed to have dinner and I wanted to write so having to think about whether or not to do job applications would’ve been a nightmare. 

I’ve had soda today instead of Mio energy and the sugar has me jittery. I don’t often have a lot of soda anymore and I think that Code Red Mountain Dew has a special mixture of sugar and caffeine that creates a special brand of hyper. It doesn't help that I haven’t had real food yet either. So far today I’ve had a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Meaning in order to chill out I’m probably going to have to go for a run or something. It’s starting to look like it might storm soon outside. I suppose I could’ve gone swimming earlier but I wanted to write and I wanted to stay in this nice, quiet condo for as long as it would be nice and quiet. I really needed a bit of quiet and time to myself. I know that mom and dad - though traveling separately and coming from different places will be here soon. 

Speaking of, I’ll probably have to help them bring in their luggage etcetera so I’d better go put on some shorts and a t-shirt instead of this sleep shirt and my yoga pants. I don’t want to get crud on my sleep pants after all and it looks like the rain might start soon. 

float_on_alright: kate bishop with her head on a desk in exasperation (asdf)
 

I wrote a bit earlier in the day about having a to do list. I went ahead and posted it because I got distracted in the middle of it and now so much time has passed that I’m in a different state of mind than I was when I started it. I guess I want to start fresh now.

 

The anxiety has been kind of rough the last 24 hours or so which sucks. I’ve just had some chamomile tea and that seems to have helped some. I think part of it was how little I slept on Thursday night… or rather Friday morning. I only only got a few hours.

 

One of the big things right now is this damned Lit Mag Love course. Every time I think about it, I just get all out of sorts. I need to have everything in the four modules done by July 10th and I’m already like four weeks into the class and I haven’t even finished module 2 yet. I’m stuck on this posting the first page of a story that will be a submission story. I just feel like nothing I’ve written is going to qualify for this thing and I keep getting blocked when I try to write something new for it. And when I do write it’s for a book that I am actually liking a lot that I’ve been posting my chapters to on my other workshop course. Which means I’ve spent 0 time working on short stories at the moment when I really need to.

 

I think I may start working on my Mrs. Claus story for the Lit Mag Love thing. I just need to get enough reworked that I can submit the first page. That doesn’t sound like a lot but it feels like a major thing. It feels like this two ton cement block sitting on my sternum is what is feels like.

 

And it sucks. It just really, really sucks. I hate this. I hate this so much. I have feeling this way. I’ve been trying to sit with it and recognize what’s going on in my head and soothe myself and tell myself it’s all going to be okay and I just need to work on it. It helps a little I guess. Granted, maybe if I’d actually start working on the project like I’ve been telling myself, I might get over all this completely.

 

I also need to remind myself that a lot of times when I’ve been dealing with these different things, I’ve felt worse before I’ve felt better, that sometimes when you start digging into your mental wellbeing and what’s fucking with it, it sucks and then it gets better if you keep at it. I just need to keep at it.

 

I wanted to do “extra” writing today to get closer to my writing goal for the month but I may just do the “minimum.” I haven’t gotten to watch last night’s Wynonna Earp episode so it would be nice to get the writing done and then lay in bed and watch Wynonna and then go to sleep. I won’t be setting an alarm for the morning that’s for sure. I think I need to sleep a little longer with no alarm than I have been the last few days.

 

I had wanted to talk more about how fun last night was, because it really was but the only other thing I feel like talking about right now is how thankful I am that I’m not feeling depressed. The anxiety sucks, it really, really does but it’s not depression. Anxiety is a bitch but depression is lethal. So if I was going to have to battle either of them, I’m glad it’s anxiety. I can battle this. I can deal with this. Even if it means I need to use the medicine again - battles take weaponry. I’d like this to be a fistfight, but if my opponent has a sword, I’d better have one too.


To do

Jun. 24th, 2017 01:54 pm
float_on_alright: I don't have a plot. I have caffeine (I don't have a plot. I have caffeine)
 

I have a to do list. I really, really have a lot I want to do. Actually, it’s a short list but there are things that would take a while. Things like rewriting Mrs. Claus and watching all the videos from the “mini-writer’s retreat” on Facebook and writing fresh things. I’m also confused because I thought I posted my third chapter on my Becoming Writer Workshop but now I can’t find that.


Oh Kate.

Jun. 24th, 2017 12:13 am
float_on_alright: I have no idea what i'm doing out of bed (no idea what i'm doing out of bed)
 

So last night I said I was either going to go write some more or go to sleep. I got into bed and I think I had every intention of going to sleep but then somehow I put on my book that I had been listening to earlier in the day, maybe I just thought I’d listen to one more funny bit - I can’t rightly remember where my mind was - and then I ended up listening to it and playing games on my phone until I’d finished somewhere around 6 am. And then I got up around 9:45 am to go for a walk. I know, madness. Absolutely craziness. I really want to watch the new episode of Wynonna Earp that aired tonight and stay up and tweet about it and I want to write more after that but I think I probably won’t. I’ve got a bit of a headache and I need more than anything else in the world right now, besides breathing I guess, to get this mascara off my face. I don’t know what I was thinking putting on mascara. I mean it looks pretty but I fucking hate mascara. Anyway, if I’m incoherent tomorrow, y’all will know why.

 

 

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Kate

July 2017

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